LISTEN UP: Your Daily Dose of the Best Music Ever

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  • Remember when Tracy Ullman had a show with crude little cartoon segments that distracted from her musical numbers? Lost in the 80′s does. Check out the video for the comedienne’s 80′s single, They Don’t Know.
  • The #1 Songs in Heaven hosts Stevie Wonder’s You Can’t Judge a Book by its Cover from his 1970 album Signed, Sealed, Delivered. Luckily this song was never co-opted by You’ve Got Mail.

  • Moistworks has an early rendition of I’d Rather Drink Muddy Water by swinging cats The Cats and The Fiddle.
  • If you like Mohawks and hate Faux-hawks, Large Hearted Boy has a song for you by the Panda Band
  • Stereogum has two versions of The Last Beat of My Heart. One by Siouxsie and The Banshees and the other covered by DeVotchka. Both rock DeRocka.

CINEMA’S GOLDEN AGE: Robin Williams Declares Jihad On Your Nerves

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rv.jpg1. Through the magic of movies, you can now experience what it would actually feel like to be stuck in a small space with Robin Williams for hours on end – $16.4 million

2. Hollywood said ‘let’s roll’, helping us to ‘never forget’ that it’s ‘never too soon’ to cash in on the deaths of thousands – $11.6 million

3. So your top three movie choices this week were Robin Williams in a motorhome, suffering through 9/11 again, or spending some time with super-enthusiastic teenage girl gymnasts – and the gymnasts came in 3rd – $11.3 million

4. Do I really have to go see this movie just to find out why the girl on the poster doesn’t have a mouth? – $9.3 million

5. Keenan-Ivory Wayans uses another batch of lame, super-obvious, reheated, Leno-esque Brokeback-referencing pop culture schticks to say to American moviegoers: “I’m gonna get your money, sucka!” – $7.8 million

It’s Monday; What’s up?

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tv set.jpgGuys breaking out of prison, Charlie Sheen with another one and a half men, people investigating Crime Scenes in Miami and another Jack Bauer power hour. It must be Monday. What are you watching tonight? Vote now!

SIZZLER: Keith Richards Injured

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keith richardsSomething happened to Keith Richards over the weekend but we’re not sure what. The 62 year-old Rolling Stones guitarist was flown from Fiji via helicopter to New Zealand for observation at a local hospital after he suffered a mild concussion. Meanwhile there has been confusion over reports of how exactly he was injured. While some reports claims he was hurt after he fell out of a palm tree, others say the injury happened when he fell off a jet ski. Okay so he fell off of something. Would it happened to have been a wagon?

While You Were Picking May Flowers

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  • Rosie O’Donnell’s new View contract stipulates that she cannot cut her hair. They want her to keep it long and flowing in an attempt to capture the coveted 18-35 year-old Guys Who Like Ugly Chicks demographic.
  • Paula Abdul has revealed that Michael Bolton used to be her babysitter. Looking for work, Bolton responds that he’s still available if anybody needs him to watch their kids.
  • Paris Hilton has announced that she thinks smoking is “so sexy.” The statement outraged parents everywhere, who are now forced to reconsider whether or not the allegedly herpes-ridden, talentless hotel heiress is the role model they thought she was.
  • The Fox Reality Channel is planning a new reality series titled My Bare Lady, where cameras follow American Porn Stars as they ready themselves for a performance on London’s West End. It promises a ton of hot girl-on-girl thesbian action.
  • Tom Cruise has hired a staffer to monitor his garbage. Staffer gives M:I::3 one star.
  • Most people prefer Robin Williams over 9/11. Whereas I happen to think it’s a draw.

BEST NIGHT EVER: Sunday, April 30th!

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It’s Best Night Ever for Sunday, April 30th! Robin Hopkins is here to walk you through the best of Sunday night tv, including SNL, The Sopranos, Desperate Housewives, and Grey’s Anatomy!

…OF THE DAY

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  • HEADLINE: “Crocodile Attacks Chainsaw In Austrailia” (AP)
  • TOURISM HOTSPOT: Namibia, all because two movie stars turned the entire country into their own private birthing chamber. (Reuters)
  • LOUD-MOUTHED LOTHARIO: If you’re a David Spade and you manage to bag a Heather Locklear, you make sure to talk to the press about it as often as possible. (Page Six)
  • LAME HIP-HOP BEEF: 50 Cent is feuding with Oprah. Bi*ch better watch her back. (Yahoo! News)
  • HALF-BAKED PROMOTIONAL STUNT: Lollapalooza festival organizers upset about rolling papers bearing their name. Meanwhile, the hippies over at Bonnaroo are cursing the wasted brain cells that prevented them from thinking of it first. (Chicago Sun)
  • MOTHERLY LOVE: Eminem is attempting to reconcile with his long-estranged Mother. Something tells me Hallmark doesn’t have a “Sorry I publicly said I wanted to kill you, Mom” card. (Fametastic)
  • UNRULY TENANT: New York’s Hot 97 radio station is facing eviction after several shootings outside their offices. Apparently the old lady upstairs at NPR kept complaining to the landlord. (MTV News)

One of These Things is Not Like The Other

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Can you guess which one of these adorable kids is involved both a bitter custody battle and a porn star’s murder trial? Here’s a hint: it’s not Lucy or Alice.

After being accused of everything from hooker-sex to teen porn-inspired masturbation, Charlie Sheen, still decided to pursue his true passion and launch a line of little girls’ fashions. That’s like building an giant amusement park on your property after being accused of child molestation. It’s a good idea, but it’s just not financially sound. Check out more pictures of the Sheen’s clothing launch at WWTDD

While You Were Getting Ready To Rumble

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  • Tom Hanks penned a lengthy tribute to his makeup artist in the New York Times. And appropriately, not to his hair stylist.
  • Commuters in Baltimore hoping to listen to NPR were accidentally treated to The Howard Stern Show thanks to defective satellite radios. That puts them in an elite class: people who have actually listened to Howard Stern since January.
  • President Bush says the National Anthem should be sung in English because he feels that people who want to be citizens of this country ought to learn the language. Immigrants respond: You first.
  • Tom Cruise wants to hire a Beatles tribute band to play at his wedding. The guys pretending to be the Beatles can’t wait to perform for people pretending to be in love.
  • 50 Cent thinks that Oprah only “caters to older white women.” Producers argue No, she caters to gay men too.

Is Suri Cruise Having The Best Week Ever?

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Sure last week’s silent birth was pleasant, but things just keep getting better for Suri Cruise.

While dad Tom Cruise is on his European tour promoting Mission Impossible III, Suri’s just chillin’ in her crib collecting gifts. Check out this massive teddy bear dad picked up for her the other day. And this one a fan gave him in Rome. And how about that shopping spree for baby clothes dad took instead going to that press conference. Yup Suri is one hooked up baby. But the real reason she’s having such a killer week, is that she’s on vacation. While Dad would have probably loved to tote Suri from premiere to press conference like he did with when she was still in vitro, because she’s only 10 days old, he didn’t make her go with him! So Suri’s got the whole week off. Meanwhile, Mom says enjoy it while it lasts.