SIZZLER: Former American Idol Constestant Held at Gunpoint


MIKALAH.JPGRobbers looking to make a quick buck in Las Vegas instead found themselves with a hyperventilating diva on their hands. It won’t be hard for fans of American Idol to remember Mikalah Gordon, the nasal 16-year-old who Simon Cowell desperately wanted to bang. Some hoodlums approached Gordon and a male friend in Las Vegas Tuesday night, ordering her to lie on her back, slamming her head into the ground, and groping the now 18-year-old singer. But Gordon’s instincts kicked in, and the girl started having a major panic attack — picture The Nanny climbing Mt. Everest — luckily scaring off her attackers.

But what concerns us most is this: They only got away with a cell phone and five bucks. FIVE DOLLARS. Is that how much money Mikalah carries around at 3:30 in the morning? Is the 19 Entertainment contract really that bad? Or was this some sort of Clueless-esque ruse to garner Gordon some extra time in the spotlight? (Las Vegas = Sun Valley; “male friend” = this dude.) While authorities are still on the lookout, we have four words for who is responsible: John Michael Karr, obvs.

Coldplay: Funny or Nooners?


We caught glimpse of the new Coldplay video for “The Hardest Part” today… and, well, we are at a loss for words. It’s kind of funny, but frankly, its nooniness so overwhelms that we really aren’t able to laugh. And if you don’t know what “noony” means, click here. Also… is that David Byrne in a thong? And… Linda Dano? Wait, why do we know that? Oh God, this is traumatizing.

While You Were Preparing Your Emmy Speech…



…Of The Day


  • JACK BAUER SIDE PROJECT: Only Bauer could star in a documentary with the awesome title I Trust You To Kill Me. Only. Bauer. (Cityrag)
  • JANET JACKSON SIDE PROJECT: If her new album bombs, at least Janet knows she could make a career as a pretty solid stripper. (IDLYITW)
  • THE NEXT MARISA TOMEI: I’m gonna say this now; the day Sienna Miller wins an Oscar is the day I take the time to learn who the f**k Sienna Miller is. (Egotastic)
  • COMPLETELY NECESSARY WEBSITE: It’s an entire site devoted to rainbows throwing up rainbows. About time. (RainbowPuke via Gorillamask)
  • DRUNKY SPICE: Posh got sloshed in London. She boozes, she dresses like a slut, she doesn’t read… damn that David Beckham is a lucky man.(Hollywood Rag)

Tipping the Celebrity Scales


CELEBSCALE1.JPGFinally, a junky piece of crap we actually want! The Angry Store, a peddler of all thing Urban-Outfitters-y, is selling a Celebrity Scale — which puts your weight in terms of other celebrities and not pounds. This is exactly the kind of thing every girl in America should keep on the bathroom floor — now you can gauge exactly how much cocaine it takes to go from Roseanne to the Karate Kid. (p.s. It’s five 8-balls daily.)

The problem here is accuracy… I find it veeeery hard to believe that Mary-Kate Olsen weighs more than Baby Jesus. Then again, I never would have believed that Hulk Hogan weighed somewhere in between Mr. Ed and King Kong, but then these pictures surfaced. So, you know, a girl could be wrong. (Link via Ad Freak)

EXCLUSIVE: Another Virgin Needs Help


Everybody’s talking about Jane magazine’s quest to get a 29-year-old virgin laid before her 30th birthday. Talk about great publicity, this story is everywhere! Now it looks like other headline-grabbing celebs are jumping on board to ride the V-wave, and to be honest, I’m pretty shocked about this new form of self-promotion.

Disturbing. Just disturbing.

Happy Birthday, Dear Beyonce…


In a thinly veiled attempt to get extra publicity for Beyonce’s new album B’Day, her record label’s “strategic friends” over at AOL Music are putting together a special “Happy Birthday Beyonce” campaign, inviting fans like you and I and John Legend to videotape a brief birthday message for the diva, all of which will be sent to Beyonce as a present. So if you have a burning desire to share something with Jay Z’s First Lady, now’s your big chance. I’m sure she’ll watch each and every one of the clips whilst taking her daily Cristal bath and munching on gold-dusted popcorn. If you need inspiration, check out what we came up with – we’re totally gonna be BFF!

We’ve Fallen Prey to Lime Disease


Yes, we know, Sprite is a sugary sweet soda that does about as much to quench thirst as does getting punched in the back of the head. The real reason we’re posting the following Sprite commercial is that it’s not only really cool/fun looking, but it also serves as a reminder that there are only 2 more weeks of summer left! Plus, it’s a million times less creepy than the ad where two-inch tall Japanese women inject lime directly into your throat.

LISTEN UP: Weird Al Says, “Stop All the Downloading!”



  • Weird Al has just become the Bob Dylan of RIAA protest anthems by penning the hilarious “Don’t Download This Song”. If I were you, I would go to his site and completely ignore his advice.
  • Never ones to back down from a fight, the RIAA fires back at Al with their totally cool and hip educational video intimidating threat, “Campus Downloading”. It has lots of “down with youth culture” close ups, dope lingo and fonts that look like graffiti, so you know it’s totally fresh! Yeah, man – downloading is whack!
  • The good fellows over at The Rawking Refuses To Stop at least have good manners – when they’re going to beat you over the head with several paragraphs of digital copyright rhetoric, at least they post a Clap Your Hands Say Yeah song first.
  • Scenestars has Lollapalooze pics and a track from one of indie rock’s finest songwriters, Andrew Bird. He’s no Weird Al or anything, but still not too shabby.
  • Indieblogheaven has a couple songs from the newly-crowed Pitchfork darlings in Snowden.