It’s Best Night Ever for May, 9th! Alex Blagg is here to walk you through the best of Tuesday night tv, including American Idol, Scrubs, and Fatal Contact: Bird Flu in America!
COOL MOM: A Maine mother was arrested for baking ex-lax cookies for daughters’ teacher, as revenge over a bad grade. (Drudge Report)
HUMILIATING JOB: Unclogging people’s toilets for a living is bad enough, but looking like you’re squatting on one while you drive is unforgivable. (Humping Frog via Smith Happens)
EXCUSE: A coyote broke into Mischa Barton and Rachel Bilson’s trailers on the set of the OC and ate all their food. (The Mirror)
PLAYLIST: Ashley Parker Angel’s. The pop star can turn you on to some really cutting edge bands you’ve probably never heard of like Third Eye Blind and Oasis. (ONTD)
Here’s another BWE promo that we dared VH1 to air, courtesy of Hungryman.com. There’s something oddly satisfying about beating the crap out of celebrities, no?
Scarlett Johansson’s breasts have been all over the place this week. Not literally, unfortunately.
First up, the sad breast news: It was reported today that Scarlett has refused to appear naked in her upcoming L’Oreal campagin. Some bigwigs are reportedly very upset about this. And by “some” I mean “most” and by “most” I mean “every single heterosexual male on payroll.” And me. Don’t forget about me.
Next, the nice breast news: Scarlett has been voted the “Best Celebrity Cleavage on the Planet” by People magazine. So it’s official– Scarlett Johansson has award-winning breasts. How many people can say that? That’s why I think Scarlett Johansson’s breasts are having the Best Week Ever.
The Muppet Babies was everyone’s favorite Saturday morning cartoon growing up in the 80′s. But in the new millennium, the show’s been given a facelift by Liquid Generation. Props to Vandar02 dropping off “Famous Babies,” a cartoon featuring the newborns of celebrities in a Muppet Babies-style nursery. There’s Sean Preston–the baby from the hood; Moses Martin, the wise old baby; Brangelina Jolie-Pitt the trannie punk; and Suri, the whimsical mutant Martian. Sure they all look different, but they have a lot in common like crazy names, wacky parents and most of all f*cked up futures!
Drop off your own story or be a dear and prop some one else’s story.
In today’s episode, Tony gets a tickle in the back of his throat that just won’t go away.
The Awful Truth took a “break” from blind-item guessing games to file this “report” from an unnamed “source” deep within Tom Cruise’s “camp” claiming that his “marriage” to Katie Holmes “won’t happen” and that the suspicious “couple” are determining a “respectable” amount of time to stay “together” following the birth of “their” child and blah blah blah…
At this point, Tom could publicly dump Katie and Suri on the side of a country road, then host a prime-time coming out special in which he had really, really gay sex with Clay Aiken on top of Liberace’s piano, and it would still be hard for me to care.
Air. He sucks air. And doesn’t break the world record for holding his breath the longest. Here’s the video in case you missed it. Also, I’ve found some other Blaine-related videos today on YouTube. Knock yourself out, Blaine style:
Charles Barkley doing his best Blaine impression
A “David Blaine Sucks” rant
David Blaine: What’s The Deal
A Message To David Blaine