It’s Best Night Ever for Tuesday, June 20th! Shea Hess is here to walk you through the best of Tuesday night tv, including Fear Factor, Last Comic Standing, and Anderson Cooper 360!
Let me be clear: I’m not nearly as interested in Ryan Seacrest’s sexual orientation as Jay Leno, but I can’t overlook this comment he made in a recent interview he conducted with Vince Vaughn. According to the National Enquirer, Seacrest gushed to Vaughn: “Dude, I’m totally into girls… but you’re at the top of my hump island when it comes to guys!”
But before you jump to conclusions, we did a little research and found that Hump Island is actually a plot of land in Canada’s Northwest Territories. It’s a hotspot for kayakers and features stunning views of the Columbia River. We’re sure Ryan just wants to take Vaughn on a hiking trip to the island’s highest peak, Mounthim Mountain.
If you go over to BritneySpears.com and click on the little bubble that says “Love B”, the troubled singer has posted a repeating stream of her latest pop masterwork, which she is calling “Rebellion”. It sounds sort of like a sped up version of Three 6 Mafia’s, “Hard For a Pimp”, except sung by a depressed housewife who is about 47 hours into a serious crystal meth/crying binge. In a word: “awesome”. Just like her marriage.
If you’re frequenting this site (and you didn’t get here by randomly googling “firecrotch”, pervert), you’re probably a big fan of celebrities. You may have even, at one point or another, fantasized about what you would say if you ever ran into a celebrity. Or you may have actually approached a celebrity and completely embarrassed yourself because you said the wrong thing. Don’t worry- it happens. Quite often, it seems, according to David Cross’ recent article in New York magazine: Where Do I Know You From? How not to alienate That Guy from TV.
“my first and foremost guideline to dealing with celebrities: If you donâ€™t know who he is, ask your friend. Or a stranger. Donâ€™t ask him. And certainly donâ€™t ask him to keep listing his rÃ©sumÃ© until you realize heâ€™s the guy from Blade of Innocence 2 who lost his shoe and got killed by the vampire with outer-space AIDS.”
Hey, it happens to the best of us. Even our good friend Lindsay, who actually created a law after approaching David Cross on a booze-fueled night. If only more Americans embraced David’s Law, maybe Mr. Cross and other celebrities would be safe. Maybe. Just maybe…
As if Paris Hilton’s video for “Stars Are Blind” wasn’t emotionally scarring enough, reader geoffryg dropped this horrific parody video in which the part of Paris is played by a man with too much hair and not nearly enough clothing. I can’t decide whether it’s more funny or disturbing, but it’s probably worth a look either way. Also, if you missed it the first time, check out our own “pop-slut” parody from a few weeks ago – and keep dropping us this
Last weekend on Jay Leno, Kate Beckinsdale inexplicably chose to share a charming anecdote about her abilities to breast feed – sometimes at shockingly great distances. See for yourselves, but maybe not while you’re eating.
It breaks my heart to see smokers quitting because they can’t smoke in public places. Sure the nic fits are twitchy and uncomfortable, but if you really love something you shouldn’t abandon it just because it gets hard. But luckily smoking just got a little easier. A California company just developed NicLite, a brand of bottled water infused with the nicotine of two cigarettes, so you never have to give up what you truly love. Now sold in select airports, these little water bottles are perfect for long flights, restaurants or overnight stays with the parents. And hey, how bad can it be for you? It’s water. (unless it’s unfiltered water, who knows what’s in that?)
Laguna Beach… for adults. It’s an idea that sounds too good to be true… or too good to be good. I missed Tuesday Night Book Club last week, but I’m not going to make that mistake twice. There’s nothing I like more than fake reality shows that are shot to look like real fake shows. That’s why I’ll be tuning in tonight.
Speaking of fake reality shows, tonight we’re also blessed with Queer Eye: Vegas, Jamie Kennedy’s Blowin’ Up, Janice Dickinson’s Modeling Agency and Fear Factor: Reality Stars. Throw in The Real World, Last Comic Standing and Kathy Griffin: My Life on The D-List, and that’s more reality than one person can handle.
If reality isn’t your thing, you can always turn to Rescue Me and/or the NBA Finals. What are YOU watching tonight? Vote now!