While we were more than happy to kiss trucker hats goodbye and we welcome the day when the world is free of gay cowboy jokes, we’re heartbroken to say goodbye to our beloved 21st century icon: Paris Hilton. It seems that Hilton, who for the past 4 years has topped every A-list in Hollywood due to her ability to party, has finally been shut out of the biggest party of them all. Why? because she’s not famous enough.
On Sunday night, Hilton was banned from Vanity Fair’s annual post-Oscar party. With only 500 invites, Vanity Fair Editor in Chief Graydon Carter reportedly didn’t think Hilton was important enough to attend. "Paris who? She will never attend one of the parties I host," said the editor.
While Nicole Richie and Mischa Barton toasted the night away, poor Paris was left to clean out her A-list locker and return to a life of B-list fame. Ladies and Gentlemen, it is the end of an era.
How y’all doin’. I’m Ronny Dwayne Munro, and I’m here to talk about the one thing I know anything about: trailers. This week, we’re gonna be lookin’ at the newest trailers available here on the World Wide Internets.
1. X-Men 3: The Last Stand – Holy guacamole, this is what God Bless American movie-goin’ is all about. Well, this and Milk Duds. This movie pretty much has it all. Explosions, fightin’, the President, and best of all, a bunch of monsters finally destroying that hippie-liberal heathen-hole San Francisco once and for all. It’s like they made this movie just for me.
2. Talladega Nights – Oh my dear sweet Jesus. Look at me getting all excited for that last movie, and then I come across something like this. You know, I’ve been sayin’ forever it’s about time someone made a serious movie about NASCAR, and looky here they’ve gone and done it. This’ll be the movie me and my family will watch over and over, every Christmas eve. For all these years, when I heard the phrase “Talladega Nights”, I always thought about stumbling around the parking lot at the race track, lookin’ for a lady with lots of tattoos to tuck me into bed. Now I’m gonna think about Ricky Bobby.
This a live-action version of the opening for The Simpsons. It’s pretty amazing. Again, thanks to the impossibly wonderful Goldenfiddle!
(I’m sure many of you have seen it, but let’s not spoil it for those who haven’t.)
From the Sun:
MODEL Kate Moss travelled the world with hard drugs hidden inside a FabergÃ© egg. She used the Â£65,000 gem-encrusted case to carry cocaine, ecstasy and the date-rape drug Rohypnol. A pal told how Kate popped ecstasy and Rohypnol to help her â€œcome downâ€ from coke-fuelled highs. Kate, 32, showed off the egg, normally used as a posh decoration, during a South African trip in 1998.
Gives new meanign to the word Fab! (Thanks to Goldenfiddle.)
Barry Bonds got really strong and hit a lot of home runs!
Oh, and it sounds like he did a massive amount of steroids to do that. I probably should have mentioned that in the first line.
Baseball fan or not, you have to read this article. It basically claims that since ’98, Bonds has done more drugs than Courtney Love and put on more weight than Kirstie Alley.
So if this all turns out to be true, what’s going to happen to Bonds’ records? Will they be wiped out? Will they stand? Will they get an asterix? I have no clue… the only thing I do know is that I wouldn’t want to be with 1,000 feet of this guy when he finds out. The roid rage will be devastating.
What do you guys think about this? I want to know.
According to the National Ledger, country music star Keith Urban has been hard at work on a new song, attempting to describe how he feels about fiancee Nicole Kidman. Through our shadowy network of operatives, Best Week Ever has managed to get our hands on an early draft of the song’s lyrics. Check them out:
Baby, I’m just a simple man
Doin’ what I can
To hold on to a star like you.
I make a livin’ singing country
I don’t know scientology
but I’ll never make you worship Xenu.
For some reason, Court TV has tons of games on its website. There is one, Bucky’s Magic Case Predictor, that ties in with Las Vegas Law. It’s basically like a Magic 8 Ball, but it answers what will happen in any impending legal case you might be involved with. Sample answer: "Lawyer was drunk." Don’t forget to play "Whack a Ghoul" while you’re there…
Now that you all know what a Chicksdigger is —a female celebrity who women love and men loathe–it’s time to introduce you to another term: The Chicksdiggim. Described by some as the inverse of Sarah Jessica Parker, these are men that women want to score and men want to beat the sh*t out of.
The classic Chicksdiggim pairs dandy ties and form fitting blazers with ultra expensive sneakers. He may look casually stylish to the ladies but men know he spends a fortune on his look. Mostly sensitive singer-songwriters and stars of film and TV, the Chicksdiggim uses his strong jawline to balance out his adorable dimples or puppy-dog eyebrows– to create a look that’s both threatening and cuddly to women.
But all men see is a bulls-eye. The Chickdiggim may not know the extent to which he is in danger of getting his ass kicked, but he does know enough to avoid all physical confrontation due to his own limpid arm muscles diguised in layers of cool band t-shirts. On a rainy day, he may suggest you put makeup on him or he may even have his own eyeliner after the positive reception he got from women on past occasions. A classic example of a Chicksdiggim is Maroon 5′s Adam Levine. More possible candidates after the jump…