UPGRADE/ DOWNGRADE: Reality Stars

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Adrianne CurrySome reality alums go from small screen starlet to Hollywood VIP(UPGRADE) while others can’t get past the bouncer(DOWNGRADE). Which stars should stick around and which one’s should be escorted off the premises?

While You Were Preparing to Spend the Night Watching Reba

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  • Denise Richards accuses Charlie Sheen of threatening her and putting their kids at risk with his porn and prostitution fetish. So she’s just going to give up on what they have?
  • Tom uses a decoy to smuggle Katie and baby Suri out of the hospital. Then uses it to take over the world.
  • Lenny Kravitz is being sued over an overflowing toilet. It’s full of sh*t.
  • Page Six fires gossip scribes. But when you have a really practical skill, you can always find more work.
  • Matthew McConaughey saved a kitten. That’s the best his pr people could come up with after details of those false rape allegations?
  • Tara Reid’s nipple is back and it’s badder than ever. Seriously, it’s bad.

Who’s Having The Best Week Ever?

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Well, it happened: Suri Cruise has finally arrived. She escaped her mother’s womb and is now free to run amock and spread the word of Scientology from coast to coast. Is she having the best (first) week ever? There’s only one way to find out. Tune in to VH1 tonight at 11 and all weekend long. I’d do it if I were you. Because if not… Suri’ll GET YA! You’ve been warned.

IN CASE YOU MISSED IT: 8 Minutes of Lucky Number Slevin

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If you haven’t seen Lucky Number Slevin, the new "stylish" thriller starring Josh Hartnett and Bruce Willis, you’re probably in the majority. That’s why the Weinstien Brothers are luring an audience by giving away the first 8 minutes of the movie for free on You Tube. Now all you have to do is sneak into the theater for the last 102 minutes and you’ll save the $10.75 for RV.

The Friday Five!

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We skipped out on it last week, but you guys know the drill – every Friday we like to take a cold, hard look at exactly what happens when people press "shuffle" on their iPods.  This week over at The Onion AV Club, they get into the iPod – and the mind – of hilarious writer/comedian/Daily Show personality John Hodgman.  As we’re but a small comedy outpost and don’t have access to big stars like that, we’re gonna see just how cool the library of Gothamist music writer and tastemaker Jen Carlson really is.

Bottle of Blues, Beck
Blackout, British Sea Power
I Know There’s An Answer, The Beach Boys
I Think I Smell A Rat, The White Stripes
Hot Winter’s Day, Prefuse 73

Pretty cool indeed!  As always, post the first five songs from your own shuffles in the comments section!

While You Were Trying To Sneak Out of Work Early

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  • Pink
    MI3′
    s J.J. Abrams is set to produce and direct the next Star Trek movie. Something about working with Tom Cruise got him in the mood for more aliens.
  • Pete Doherty has been released on bail following yesterday’s arrest for possession of Class-A drugs. Just to save time, let me be the first one to report this: Pete Doherty has been arrested again for possession of Class-A drugs.
  • Nick Lachey re-enacts his split with Jessica in his new music video. But not for publicity, it’s totally just a way to work things out in his head. Definitely not for publicity. Definitely not for publicity.
  • Robin Williams is not gay. In fact, he tells GQ magazine that he’s "a big fan of the puss. Always addicted to puss." Suddenly Mrs. Doubtfire just got a whole lot creepier.
  • Pink says she’s so in love her with her husband that he could pee in his hand and give it to her and she’d still think it was a masterpiece. It’d have to be if he was able to hand it to her, don’t you think?
  • 73% of people would not let their children play with Britney & Kevin’s baby. The other 27%? Celebrities.