IN CASE YOU MISSED IT: Gene Simmons’ Sexercise Auditions

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Gene_simmons_250 Recently, Gene Simmons, Kiss’s sex-crazed front-man, had brainstorm: Why not combine women’s exercise with sex to create the perfect workout: Sexercise. It’s hot for men, it’s slimming for women and the workout video will earn him millions. What’s more, he can hold auditions where hot babes will show him why they should be Sexercise’s workout video hosts. And maybe he can even whip out his bouncey bouncey hand dance.

Wait! He just had another a brilliant idea: why not bring his teenage daughter to the Sexercise auditions?! She can learn how daddy makes his money.

This is too weird to even be explained, so just watch Gene Simmons plug his Sexercise video with teen daughter in tow on TMZ.

EXCLUSIVE: Joe Rogan Hates Obese and Jewish People?

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MUST READ!  When millionaire TV star whose life is way better than yours Joe Rogan is not talking wannabe reality stars into eating pig intestines, or waging online war against college kids, he apparently enjoys posting on his official message board, particularly in a 50-page thread entitled "I finally found that jewf*ck crash".  Featuring the lacking levels of intelligence and sensitivity found on most online message boards, what makes this one particularly interesting is that a public figure like Rogan (and yes, it’s really him) not only tolerates this litany of hate speech, shocking racism and outright cruelty, but he "enjoys it" – hell, he even declares it "the greatest thread in Rogan Board history".  So what exactly does Joe find so funny? 

It all starts when one of the members of the board (pictured) is "exposed" as part of Obesity Help, an online support group for morbidly obese persons.  The rest of the board, including Rogan himself, respond by hurling insults (including some particularly disturbing anti-Semitic language), harassing innocent obese people and posting hardcore pornographic pictures (which, according to Rogan, is mandatory to be granted the privilege of participating in his little gem of an online community).

The Fear of bad publicity is clearly not a Factor for Joe Rogan.

BWE Vacation Destination: Jamaica

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WWTDD has some incredible pictures of Jamaica posted today. Just try to ignore the people obstructing the shots… it looks like a great place to visit!

Beautiful Jamaican vacation photographs here!

While You Were Looking At Hot Scarlett Johansson Pics on Other Sites

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    The Tampa Bay Devil Rays plan on making Will Ferrell’s legendary "More Cowbell" SNL skit a staple on the videoboard at home games. The lowly Rays are hoping that this will make the crowd laugh with the team for once, as opposed to at them.
  • Pretty soon you’ll be able to watch 3-minute NBC shorts while pumping your gas. So at least spending $75 to fill up your PathFinder will be thoroughly entertaining and not the least bit aggrevating from this point out. Gas crisis averted!
  • Jaime Foxx is here to save R&B. But ironically the only thing R&B needs to be saved from is Jaime Foxx.
  • Tool announces North American club tour. Tools excited about the news.
  • The line "One life, with each other, sisters, brothers" from U2′s "One" topped a poll of favorite song lyrics. "I like girls who wear Abercrombie & Fitch, chinese food makes me sick" inconspicuously absent from list.
  • Gilbert Gottfried has been named the unsexiest man in the world by the Boston Phoenix. I disagree. Clearly these guys have never f**ked Gilbert Gottfried.

CAPTION THIS: Tom’s Blackberry

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If you caught Tom Cruise’s interview with Diane Sawyer on Primetime Live Friday night, you probably thought the text message he received from Katie via Blackberry said "No baby action yet". But that’s just what Tom saw. We think when Diane looked at the Blackberry, Katie made a last ditch cry for help. Unfortunately, it was too late.

What do you think Diane saw on Tom’s Blackberry? Write your captions in the comments section.

Scarlett Johansson Kelly Clarkson in a Bikini

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Since every other blog on the planet is allowed to show the hot Scarlett Johansson in a bikini photos except for us, (seriously, we’re talking EVERY site. You can’t throw a rock without hitting Scarlett’s beautiful breasts) we here at Best Week Ever want to show you, the readers, that we still have what it takes to be your one-stop-shop for entertainment news… even with our hands tied! So, that’s why, we’re presenting you with… Kelly Clarkson in a bikini photographs! They’re just as good!

Enjoy them while you can. And in the event you come back here and they’re gone, head on over to Hollywood Tuna. Because sometimes you just need pictures of an American Idol in a bikini eating a hot dog. Besides the ones of Clay Aiken.

Celebrity Cooking Showdown is Thicke-Headed

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Last night’s premiere episode of Celebrity Cooking Showdown, a new series that pits minor celebrities against each other in the kitchen, lacked the shock value of American Idol or the panache of Dancing with the Stars. But it did have one thing other shows couldn’t top: Alan Thicke. The former Seaver who, by the way, never ages, managed to sneak in a Simon Cowell-esque dig in his unassuming game show host voice.

Narrating- ala Iron Chef- as pinup Cindy Margolis cooked frantically, Thicke noted that Margolis isn’t used to doing things for herself. He said: Cindy’s husband owns a restaurant, she has three meals a day delivered, she had her twins delivered by a surrogate. Is there a pattern here?

Is he calling her lazy for not baring her own children? Gosh, I hope so. Listen up for more Thicke-isms through out the week. I can’t wait to hear what he has to say about new dad and tonight’s guest Ashley Parker Angel.

SIZZLER: Tom’s Poll is Bent

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Linktomcruise_1 According to the New York Post, Tom Cruise’s people skewed the results of a recent poll on Parade.com in his favor.

"Parade.com recently asked online readers whether they thought Cruise was responsible for his disastrous public relations year or if it was the media’s fault. A shocking 84 percent of respondents blamed the press. But Parade publicist Alexis Collado tells us: "We at Parade found this a little bit fishy, so we did some investigating. We found out more than 14,000 (of the 18,000-plus votes) that came in were cast from only 10 computers!" pole

Now the magazine thinks Tom’s people built a computer program that skewed the votes, and we feel really bad about that. We were only trying to help the poor guy who’s been a victim of the vicious media . We won’t do it again. 

GAMES: It’s Time To Make The Donuts

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Dunkin Donuts– yeah, the place where the single guy in your office buys the Munchkins when he’s supposed to bake something for a pot luck dinner– is more than just a convenient place to buy coffee (that isn’t Starbucks.) It’s a one-stop shop for coffee lovers… and really bored people at work… on the web, too!

Dunkin has just launched a new mini-site called D Stop, where they have cartoons, videos, e-cards, quizzes, and contests to win Dunkin Donut gift cards. Sign up to win one today (then pass it off to that guy you don’t like in an effort to make him fat before summer.) Head on over and have fun… well, as much fun as you could have on a site with a "Gesture Memory Test." Good luck. [link via AdRants]