Who’s Having The Best Week Ever?

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Well, it happened: Suri Cruise has finally arrived. She escaped her mother’s womb and is now free to run amock and spread the word of Scientology from coast to coast. Is she having the best (first) week ever? There’s only one way to find out. Tune in to VH1 tonight at 11 and all weekend long. I’d do it if I were you. Because if not… Suri’ll GET YA! You’ve been warned.

IN CASE YOU MISSED IT: 8 Minutes of Lucky Number Slevin

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If you haven’t seen Lucky Number Slevin, the new "stylish" thriller starring Josh Hartnett and Bruce Willis, you’re probably in the majority. That’s why the Weinstien Brothers are luring an audience by giving away the first 8 minutes of the movie for free on You Tube. Now all you have to do is sneak into the theater for the last 102 minutes and you’ll save the $10.75 for RV.

The Friday Five!

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We skipped out on it last week, but you guys know the drill – every Friday we like to take a cold, hard look at exactly what happens when people press "shuffle" on their iPods.  This week over at The Onion AV Club, they get into the iPod – and the mind – of hilarious writer/comedian/Daily Show personality John Hodgman.  As we’re but a small comedy outpost and don’t have access to big stars like that, we’re gonna see just how cool the library of Gothamist music writer and tastemaker Jen Carlson really is.

Bottle of Blues, Beck
Blackout, British Sea Power
I Know There’s An Answer, The Beach Boys
I Think I Smell A Rat, The White Stripes
Hot Winter’s Day, Prefuse 73

Pretty cool indeed!  As always, post the first five songs from your own shuffles in the comments section!

While You Were Trying To Sneak Out of Work Early

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  • Pink
    MI3′
    s J.J. Abrams is set to produce and direct the next Star Trek movie. Something about working with Tom Cruise got him in the mood for more aliens.
  • Pete Doherty has been released on bail following yesterday’s arrest for possession of Class-A drugs. Just to save time, let me be the first one to report this: Pete Doherty has been arrested again for possession of Class-A drugs.
  • Nick Lachey re-enacts his split with Jessica in his new music video. But not for publicity, it’s totally just a way to work things out in his head. Definitely not for publicity. Definitely not for publicity.
  • Robin Williams is not gay. In fact, he tells GQ magazine that he’s "a big fan of the puss. Always addicted to puss." Suddenly Mrs. Doubtfire just got a whole lot creepier.
  • Pink says she’s so in love her with her husband that he could pee in his hand and give it to her and she’d still think it was a masterpiece. It’d have to be if he was able to hand it to her, don’t you think?
  • 73% of people would not let their children play with Britney & Kevin’s baby. The other 27%? Celebrities.

Survivor’s Shane has a Crazy Idea

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If you watched Survivor: Exile Island last night, you probably think, Shane Powers is going crazy. In last night’s episode, Shane threatens to kill one of his competitors  and in the previews for next week, he calls a piece of a wood his Blackberry and claims he’s communicating with people "not on this island."

But in case you’re worried, Shane’s doing just fine. In fact he’s never been better, now that he’s conceived of a way to get free publicity advice from fans. Powers, a former actor, is now trying to be an icon, with the help of a contest on his website that solicits fans to "conceive, write, photograph, video and document a marketing campaign for "Got Shane?" The Survivor contestant is already selling t-shirts with the milk Shane campaign slogan, but it seems that Powers is planning a major media blitz in an attempt to segueway his reality show appearance into a full fledged career.

According to his website "All submitted material will be reviewed and judged by a special panel appointed by Shane Powers, and Shane himself." We’re not sure how he’s selecting the panel, but we’re certain there’s at least one house pet on board. And the grand prize for being Shane Power’s publicity director? You get your submission displayed on (drum roll) www.shanepowers.com. I’ll admit it’s so crazy it just might work. Oh wait, I was talking about the wooden blackberry.

A Eulogy In Remembrance of Celebrity Cooking Showdown

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Ah Celebrity Cooking Showdown, how we hardly knew you.  You showed so much promise, with your seemingly perfect recipe for success: One part Iron Chef rip-off, one part B-list celebs displaying how inadequate they are at anything other than being on TV, one part host Alan Thicke’s rambling, scotch-soaked commentary, and of course the secret ingredient: the fact that, until now, America has proven to LOVE watching almost any mundane activity if it’s "With the Stars!".  So what went wrong? 

If I had to guess, I would say that it has something to do with the fact that even someone with the most inept culinary abilities could recognize that watching famous chefs hand-hold frenzied "stars" as they run around the stage bumbling their way through the preparation of fairly simple meals is not only boring, but also pretty pointless.  Who cares if some daytime soap star can put together a pot roast with Wolfgang Puck walking her through the whole thing?  Considering the fact that NBC pulled last night’s final episode and replaced with re-runs of Will & Grace and My Name Is Earl, the answer is pretty obvious. 

Celebrity Cooking Showdown, you will certainly be forgotten, but shall never be missed.  Here’s hoping that Mowing the Lawn With (Kinda-Sorta) Movie Stars will fare a little better.

LISTEN UP: Your Daily Dose of the Best Music Ever

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  • Rodeohead01Aquarium Drunkard heads down to the Durrty South with a couple of tracks from The North Mississippi All-Stars excellent album of blues covers.
  • The Rawking Refuses to Stop gets on his little pony to deliver the message of the awesomeness of Sparklehorse.
  • Good Hodgkins brings us five essential tracks from 2006, with downloads from Destroyer, Belle & Sebastian and Voxtrot.
  • Beirut bears listentening, says Said the Gramophone.
  • Scenestars adds more steam to the engine of the Gnarls Barkley hype train with a nice video of the guys performing "Crazy" on Top of the Pops
  • This is old, but in case you missed it and since it’s Friday, Sixeyes reminds us of the hilarity of "Rodeohead" – Hard ‘N Phirm’s awesome medley of Radiohead songs, played as country bluegrass.