Despite what those liars at Us Weekly might tell you, celebrities are in fact nothing like us. They’re more like cosmic beings with a mysterious language understandable only to their own kind, which is why your friends here at BWE will employ our patented Celebrity Translator Technology to enlighten you with the real meaning of the Words of the Stars. This week, Lindsay Lohan is doing her best publicity full-court press, giving interviews to anyone who’ll have her. The following translations come from this Q&A with the Coming Soon website – be sure to read all the translations after the jump!
LOHAN, regarding why she chose to join the cast of Prarie Home Companion: “Would you turn down a movie that Robert Altman was directing and Meryl Streep was playing your mother in? I wouldn’t recommend it if you wouldn’t say yes.”
TRANSLATION: “I didn’t know who those people were, but my agent recommended that I say yes.”
Sure she gets a little punchy on the E! red carpet, but why does she wait till she’s all the way in Australia to finally be hilarious. Check out this one of a kind footage of presenter Joan Rivers at The Logie in Awards in Melbourne. This may give a little insight as to why Rivers usually isn’t allowed to work inside most awards shows.
(link via Wow Report via Pop Sugar)
I need to ask– am I the only person who watches season finales for shows I’ve never seen before? I don’t know what it is, but whenever I hear a show is ending I’m suddenly interested enough to tune in. Case in point- Gilmore Girls tonight. Not only are they wrapping up their season, but Sonic Youth and Chloe from 24 are dropping by. That’s enough to make me want to watch. Other season finales tonight: Veronica Mars and MTV’s 8th & Ocean. If final episodes aren’t your thing, don’t worry- we got American Idol on Fox, Scrubs on NBC, a Kathy Griffin stand-up special on Bravo, and a TV movie that’s guaranteed to make you laugh uncontrollably about the bird flu- Fatal Contact: Bird Flu in America. So what are YOU watching tonight? Vote now!
In a recent interview with designer Isaac Mizrahi, Madonna admitted she’s a “crap mother.” The pop superstar said, “It is a struggle to balance my career with my children. I’m always going: ‘Oh God, I’m a crap mother.’ I want to get home and put my kids to bed. And then sometimes, if I’m spending a lot of time with my children, I think: ‘Oh God, I just want to be an artist.’” In terms of skill, we think Madonna’s just as good a mother as she is an artist.
Before Fergie was a Black Eyed Pea with a fugly face and questionable taste in fashion she was Stacy Ferguson– a pretty cute kid on Kids Incorporated. Check out this great video Dropped by OCDFreelancer. It makes you feel nostalgic, queasy, and a little disturbed all at the same time. “My Humps” tends to do that to ya.
Now go Drop something of your own– and then see what others are Propping. Come on, all the cool kids are doing it!
It’s hard to say why the band Orleans never hit it big. Some people say it was the music, but others think it was the decision to put this picture on their album cover. Well, you can’t blame it on the fact that they didn’t get along. Props to ocdfreelancer 11 for submitting a list of the best worst album covers ever.
Unfortunately, most of the albums are unrecognizable. But we’re sure some of our favorite bands have made some bad choices.Who do you think is missing from the list? Tell us in the comments section.
Go here to prop up user-submitted stories you want to see on our front page . Got a link or story to submit? Drop it here!
It’s Best Night Ever for Monday, May 8th! Bob Castrone is here to walk you through the best of Monday night tv, including David Blaine: Drowned Alive, Prison Break, and 24!
MANDATE FROM THE PEOPLE : Laguna Beach’s Kristin Cavalleri gets bruised and bloodied for her upcoming horror flick. (Barbie Martini)
MOMENT OF SILENCE FOR GUY RITCHIE : It’s not simply that Madonna’s complaining in this clip, it’s that she’s doing it with an accent.(Dlisted )
LINDSAY LOHAN’S BOYFRIEND: This guy (pictured) is today’s latest conquest, but he’s already looking a bit too needy.(Faded Youth)
NO SH*T TIP: Forbes’ list of 15 ways to live longer cites “being rich” and “having more sex” as surefire ways to extend your life. We were hoping to just eat more bran, but if it means living longer I guess we’ll give those other things a try. (Forbes)
NEXT SIMPSON APPENDAGE TO GET SURGERY: Wonder if Ashlee can suggest a good plastic surgeon for sister and SAG-member Jessica. (ONTD)
Two weeks ago, Ashlee Simpson was nothing more than Jessica’s younger, less talented, bigger-nosed sister. But after going under the knife Doctor 90210 style, that’s not the case today. Now nobody can say she has a bigger nose (the less talented stuff is still cool, though.)
People are loving Ashlee’s new schnoz. Egotastic has posted over 60 photographs of the singer, and there are whispers throughout the blogosphere that Ashlee may have surpassed Jessica as the sexier Simpson sister. It’s amazing what a little rhinoplasty can do. After looking at the pics, I started thinking that she has a better voice too. You’re doing some great PR work, Ashlee Simpson’s Nose– and that’s why I think you’re having the best week ever.