After photos of Brangelina’s first baby sold for millions, and now that we’ve learned that TomKat’s price demands for Suri’s First Photo have still not been met, we thought we’d explain the volatile Celebrity Baby Photo market by providing you with this helpful price guide, using a broad spectrum of examples from which you might better understand the cost of getting exclusive shots of newborn stars 20 minutes before all the blogs do.
TomKat – $10 million, made payable to The Church of Scientology, along with no less than 12 open-minded recruits for a ‘preliminary audit’ at the Center
Every morning when I walk out of my apartment located in Manhattan’s Lower East Side I’m greeted by about 14 side-by-side posters for ABC Family’s new show Kyle XY. The premise, from what I can gather, is that he’s a guy without a bellybutton. And that’s about it. Umm… that’s good enough for me!
You know what else is good enough for me: How To Get The Guy. It’s the funniest unintentionally funny show on TV and definitely worth checking out if you can stomach the awkwardness. Also on tonight: Saved & The Closer on TNT and Fast Inc. on MTV. What are YOU watching tonight? Vote now!
You might remember a couple of weeks ago BWE broke the news that John Mayer was going to drop by the Comedy Cellar to try his hand out at Stand-Up comedy. Well, when word got back to John that his surprise appearance was no longer a surprise he decided to postpone his Cellar debut. So it wasn’t until this past Friday that he finally hit the stage in an attempt to entertain comedy lovers and drunken tourists alongside Dave Attell, Jim Norton, and our very own Sherrod Small.
How’d he do? Well, if you visited Gawker or Stereogum today and read this guy’s account, he bombed. Hell, I read it and I believed it because blogs are the single most reliable news sources on the planet. Right? Right? Wrong.
Sherrod Small calls Bulls**t!
“This is ridiculous,” Sherrod said. “The guy took John’s words and turned them around. It wasn’t insensitve. Money, he used the N word once at the end of the show when he was talking about his Dave Chappelle appearance and how people come up to him and say ‘give me a pound, nigga.’ Nobody was offended. Everybody loved it.”
There you have it: the same show, two different perspectives. I think I’m going to believe the comedian over the anonymous blogger, though. Call me old fashioned.
Based on the first few lackluster episodes of the season, Entourage seems like it currently might be flying in mid-air over the proverbial shark. “Luckily” it’s followed by a low-key new show you might not have noticed that’s been picking up the laughs that Ari and the gang seem to have left behind this year. Lucky Louie, writer/comedian Louis CK’s innovative re-imagining of the classic family sitcom, is the funniest show on TV that nobody really seems to be talking about yet. If you don’t believe me, check out this hilarious clip from the pilot, then tell your TiVo to get its sh*t together:
According to TMZ, Brangelina’s lawyers are furiously filing motions and torts to prevent these pictures (as well as these ones) of Shiloh’s baby shower, apparently taken from a stolen memory stick, from making their way around the internets. Considering their last unsuccessful battle against the viral nature of digital technology, the effort seems pretty futile. But the warning letter is still pretty threatening: apparently the Namibian government has already set up a secret “WiFi camp” where offending gossip bloggers will be imprisoned, beaten with their laptops, denied access to site stats, and forced to watch helplessly as Perez Hilton scoops them again and again for all of eternity.
1. If only Adam Sandler’s magical remote control had a button that would remind him to stick with flaming bags of poo and fist-fighting Bob Barker instead of making these overly sentimental pseudo-comedy cutesy crapfests – $40 million
2. It’s nice to know that SOME cars aren’t running out of gas this summer, despite the fact that a gallon of gas is approaching movie ticket prices. I bet if my Honda could talk, and it sounded like Larry the Cable Guy, it would say, “I need gas – Git ‘er done!” And I’d be all like, “I can’t, I just spent all my money seeing Adam Sandler play with a magical remote and make baby noises.” – $22.5 million
3. Could it be possible that the utter hilarity of seeing Jack Black do a Mexican accent whilst wearing ill-fitting tights hasn’t been getting the word-of-mouth buzz that the studios were banking on? – $12.1 million
4. I was going to make a joke about this movie, but then I realized that I’d never even heard of it before and know literally nothing about it. Seriously, is this another one of those 2-hour rap video movies Hype Williams likes to direct? – $9.4 million
5. The only thing fast or furious about this movie is how fast it’s speeding towards it’s finish line of forgotten irrelevancy – $9.2 million
A walk of shame is never fun… unless of course, you’re Link, the elf from The Legend of Zelda. This video dropped by ZeldaWalkOfShame made me laugh more than once. It’s nice to know that our favorite video game characters have the same problems we do (audio kinda NSFW).
Got something you want us to see? Drop it now!
Sure, you’ve loved YouTube ever since you first stumbled upon it while searching for SNL’s now-classic Lazy Sunday skit. But you’re cool and ahead of the curve– that’s to be expected. Recently, though, it seems like everybody else is discovering how amazing and magical YouTube can be. Last week Pitchforkmedia made a list of 100 Awesome Music videos with accompanying YouTube links that kept me from doing work for, no lie, about 6 1/2 hours straight. And now, today, The Sports Guy Bill Simmons has inducted 33 videos into the YouTube Hall of Fame. Don’t let his title fool you, the man tackles more than just sports. We’re talking everything from William Shatner’s rendition of “Rocket Man” to the trailer for The Karate Kid III. Go check it out now; I can’t think of a better way to start off the week.