SIZZLER: Katie’s Name Change

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katieEver since she hooked up with Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes has been taunted, teased and mocked by the press.

Come on, we all know what’s keeping her from being taken seriously: her name. As long as she has that ‘ie’ on the end of it, people are going to make fun of her relationship and her life choices. I mean can you blame them? The name Katie is so silly. So that’s why she’ll be going by Kate from now on. Once she makes it official and becomes Kate, as reports suggest, she’ll never be the butt of another joke again.

It’s Friday; What’s up?

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tv set.jpgI know it’s the weekend, and I know on the weekend you’re supposed to “spend time outdoors” and “enjoy the nice weather” and “live your life to the fullest”… and that’s fine. If you’re into that sort of thing. But if you’re not, I’m not going to judge you. If you want to spend all weekend indoors watching new episodes of Ghost Whisperer and SNL and Family Guy and Big Love, I have no problem with that. In fact, I applaud you. Screw “excercise” and “the sun” and “being social.” That stuff’s overrated.

So what are you watching this weekend? Vote now!

PROPPED: College Still Crazy After All These Years

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zit.jpgIf not for our loyal droppers and proppers, we might have forgotten just how stir crazy dormatory living can make a person. First, Sock 21 dropped this hilarious video of a college student breaking into Broadway song in the middle of a lecture. Then boteboy0 slanged us this nice little montage of fratguys with way too much time on their hands doing “epic beer pong shots”, set to the crackin’ soundtrack of “Ain’t Nuthin’ But a G Thang”. And finally, lindsayq dropped this downright bizarre warning of the dangers of the Dave Matthews Band (more from these guys here). I mean, I knew he sucked and all, but jeez.

pligg_postitnote_v1.jpgRemember, keep dropping us all the hilarious videos, celeb gossip, funny stories and all the other crazy sh*t on the Internet we just have to see. And if you have a blog or website, include your url in the description and we’ll link back to you!

IN CASE YOU MISSED IT: The New Brad Pitt Movie

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jesse jamesThe Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford has got it all: cowboys, a passionate relationship between two men, and super-duper star Brad Pitt (in stirrups no less). So it should be a hit, right? Wrong. Historically, movie titles with more than four words haven’t been successful because audiences can’t remember what it’s called and reviewers don’t want to write the whole damn thing out more than once. Check out this list of movies with long titles. You’ll find there really hasn’t been a blockbuster with a mega-title since Dr. Strangelove or how I learned to …(see I’ve already given up).

So from now on for the sake of everyone involved (but mostly me), can we just call The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford, The New Brad Pitt Movie? Because really, that’s what it is.
Watch the trailer here.

Pete Doherty: EMT

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doherty.JPGNow, some people look at this picture and what do they say? “This is an outrage! Pete Doherty is injecting heroin into an unconscious fan! That’s disgusting!” Fair enough.

But that’s not what I see. I see Pete coming to the aid of a big Babyshambles fan the only way he knows how– with drugs. I’m sure he meant well. I’m sure he saw a passed out woman and wanted to help. But once he grabbed her arm and checked for a pulse he had an uncontrollable Pavlovian response and couldn’t stop himself from instinctively jamming a needle into her vein. You can’t fault the guy for that, can you?

Oh. You can? Nevermind then. [Read The Sun's article here]

While You Were Taking Less Time To Enjoy the View

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  • Daniel Baldwin was busted for possession of coke this week. The “fat” Baldwin, who was last seen on Celebrity Fit Club, prefers to think of it as a weight loss stimulant.
  • Meanwhile brother Alec Baldwin’s temper drove his Broadway show co-star Jan Maxwell to quit the show. She accused him of violently punching a wall, but in his defense if she had stood still he wouldn’t have hit it.
  • Sofia Coppola may be pregnant . But who should be the godfather?
  • Pete Doherty caught on tape injecting drugs into a female fan. He’s always said his fans come first.
  • David Spade is shocked by Denise Richards’ betrayal. But he’ll need to see more pictures of her to make sure.

SIZZLER: Rosie O’Donnell Joins ‘The View’

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rosie_odonnell.jpg“Extra” is reporting that Rosie O’Donnell is expected to take over Merideth Vieira’s chair at the Algonquin roundtable of daytime television known as “The View”. This shocking addition to the talk show’s estrogen-charged equation leaves the mind reeling with questions. Is Joy Behar really prepared to deal with an angry lesbian who has a daily axe to grind? Will Rosie end up leaving her life partner for a sexually-awakened Elisabeth Hasselbeck? How long before “The View” is renamed “The Show In Which Rosie O’Donnell Yells At Other Women and Occasionally Punches Star Jones-Reynolds”?

Only time – and TiVo – will tell.

BEST NIGHT EVER 4-27-06

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It’s Best Night Ever for Thursday, April 27th! Jason is here to walk you through the best of Thursday night tv, including American Inventor, That 70′s Show, The O.C., and The Office!

…OF THE DAY

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  • HEADLINE: “Exxon Quarterly Profit 5th Highest Ever” (AP)
  • MISGUIDED OUTRAGE: Jay Leno is being criticized for bad gay jokes, yet continues getting away with all the bad everything else jokes. (Canada.com)
  • SCARIEST PREDATOR SINCE ‘THE PREDATOR’: Police released sketches depicting a truly terrifying rape suspect. (DoubleViking)
  • CRUSHING, TORTUROUS DISAPPOINTMENT: Jessica Alba ALMOST let a nipple slip. Sorta like being one number away from winning the lottery. (Egotastic)
  • YESTERDAY’S GARBAGE: Amy Fisher is blaming her use of ecstasy for her decision to shoot Joey Buttafuoco’s wife in the face back in 1992. (Yahoo! News)
  • SPECIAL OLYMPICS GOLD MEDALIST: Judge Judy, who has the top daytime court show for the 500th straight week. (Netscape News)
  • FAD YOU SHOULD PRAY DOESN’T CATCH ON: Internet slang jewelry – ‘OMG’ is right. (BoingBoing)

Omarosa’s New Reality Boobs

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omorsa.jpgOmarosa, the lovable villain from back in the day when people still watched The Apprentice, will do anything to get on another reality show. Sure she’s drawn out her career with appearances on Fear Factor and the Surreal Life, but as her options dwindle she’s had to be more creative.

So before she gets packed into a time capsule with Crunk Juice and Jason Alexander, quick-thinking Omarosa has opted to get a boob job on Discovery Health Channel’s Plastic Surgery: Before and After. We’re not sure what will land her more work: bigger boobs or another reality show appearance. Perhaps the combination will land her one last invitation to the Blockbuster Awards. I hear they have great gift bags.

(via crunk and disorderly)