Add Suri!

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SuriSuri’s only been on this planet for a little over a day now, but Tom & Katie’s alien baby is already adapting to the ways of the world and attempting to integrate herself into society as one of "us." The first step? Creating a MySpace profile, of course.

Click here to see baby Suri’s brand new MySpace page. Unfortunately you can only view her profile if she’s your friend… or if you’re a Scientologist… which I find kind of humbling considering I’ve been alive for 26 years and I’ll let anybody be my friend. Seriously. You and your crappy band? Add me. Suri’s much more selective.

Well, I sent Suri a friend request from Best Week Ever. Because when you’re dealing with an alien baby that may take over the world someday, I think it’s smart to be on their good side. Don’t you? [link via A Socialite's Life]

Do you know what today is?

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High_five_1 It’s 4/20 !!!! and you know what that means… that’s right it’s National High Five Day!

So go give your volleyball coach, your cool principal who pairs a suit with a backwards baseball cap, or the guy in the office who is often mistaken for raising his hand, one big juicy, echoing high five.

Because on 4/20 there’s no better high than a natural high, right kids?

…OF THE DAY

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Ashlee_1

PROOF THAT TV VIEWERS ARE SHREWD NEGOTIATORS: Due to sliding ratings, NBC is now offering  $10,000 to people who watch The Apprentice. I think we should hold out for $12,000. (Reality Blurred)

OUT OF TOUCH MOM TERMINOLOGY: British Tabloid calls former pop star George Michael a "stoned waster" (The Mirror)

PROOF WE’RE ONE SIMPSON TOO MANY: Ashlee Simpson’s new song L.O.V.E was just released on her website. (AshleeSimpsonMusic)

VOICE-MAIL: Faye Dunaway’s angry voice messages left throughout the day on the phone of a producer making a TV movie of her life. While she wants to forget Mommy Dearest, it’s clear why she’ll never outlive the role. (Wow Report)

While You Were Feeding Suri her Barley-Water Dinner

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Lg1a_2

  • Nick Lachey banned camera phones from his new sitcom, He Said, She Said for fear of being tabloid fodder. Cameras are fine though.
  • American Idol makes people famous. And then makes them drunkards, just ask Paula.
  • Pink has a tattoo designed to look like a help button. Clearly, it’s broken.
  • Paris Hilton is releasing her own line of mobile games. Or so she’s been told by her handlers.
  • Tabloid apologizes for saying Terri Hatcher has sex in a van, an accusation that angered the cautious single mom. In fact it was a mini-van.
  • Jamie Lynn Sigler is hooking up with Ashley Olsen ex Scott Sartaino. But her next big challenge is Stavros.

Sweet Bootleged Dave Matthews Live Footage, Brah

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Springtime means a lot of things: nicer weather, less clothing, longer afternoons – and bro’in out to a jammin’ live show from The Dave Matthews Band with your bro’s, bro.  So get yourself in the "jammy" mood with this sweet footage of DMB Live! (Yes, it’s a slow day.)

Are Sexasaurses Having The Best Week Ever?

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R_kelly
R. Kelly
returned to New York this week for the first time since 2004. Well, on behalf of all New York, allow me to say that he was missed. During last night’s sold out Radio City Music Hall show, R previewed an unreleased song titled "The Zoo" that contained the following lyrics:

"It’s like Jurassic Park, but I’m your Sexasaurus" and "You and me hopping like two kangaroos… you got me locked in your cage of ecstasy and I don’t want to be free… I’m your Tarzan and you’re my Jane." Wow. Just. Wow.

I for one think it’s about time Sexasauruses got their due. I’ve seen all three Jurassic Park movies, and not once did they talk about the Sexasaurus. Kudos to R. Kelly for stepping up and bringing this extinct-but-not-forgotten dinosaur to the attention of the American Public for the first time… ever.  Oh, and for the record, accused pedophile R. Kelly has titled his next album Making Babies. Thankfully he does not go into specifics as to what he’s making them do, exactly. But you can imagine. [Read the MTV News article here ]

What Are The Worst Albums Ever?

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Bruce

Q Magazine published it’s list of the 50 worst albums ever made.  I can’t believe Naomi Campbell’s techno-diva album Babywoman and Bruce Willis’s bluesy The Return of Bruno made the list. Those are classics of the humiliating celebrity side project genre.

But the number #1 worst album ever made according to the magazine? Duran Duran’s Thank You, an album in which the 80′s rockers cover songs by legends like Bob Dylan, Lou Reed and Grandmaster Flash. I guess it was just their little way of saying thank you for not having to write new music.

View the entire list of the 50 worst albums ever after the jump. Then tell us which albums you think should have made the list…

Read more…

IN CASE YOU MISSED IT: Reality Stars are Scary

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I don’t know how I missed it, but The Scorned,the first horror film starring only reality stars debuted on DVD last week. The directors cut/unrated version explains all the mysteries and artistic intentions of the film a.k.a gratuitous reality boobies.  Enjoy the varied acting styles of Bob "The goofy Bachelor" Guiney, Jenna Lewis, Ethan Zohn, Johnny Fairplay, Trishelle Cantella Durtiz and other reality stars who made the poor career choice to star in this movie. Watch the trailer for The Scorned. I guarantee you it’s not half as scary as E’s Kill Reality, the reality show based on the making of this movie.