SIZZLER: Ashley Olsen Smokes

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Are you sitting down? I’m about to break some shocking news: young, fashionable, NYU student and superstar, Ashely Olsen, is a smoker! Tabloid investigators got the scoop first hand after witnessing what appeared to be a cigarette in her left hand. While we knew that twin sister Mary Kate had some issues, we figured blonder sister Ashley was far too proper, polite, eco-friendly and socially-motivated to even consider the habit. While we’re very disappointed in Ashley, we take comfort in the fact that young girls still have a chaste and sober role model like Lindsay Lohan to look up too.

                                              

WHILE YOU WERE RETHINKING NEW AGE MUSIC

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Yanni

  • Yanni was arrested at his home for allegedly roughing up his girlfriend in a domestic dispute, but has denied the allegations. There’s nothing funny about domestic violence…except when it involves Yanni, when it’s just a little bit funny.

  • The ratings for the Oscars telecast were down nearly 8 percent from last year. Those 8 percent are probably kicking themselves for missing that Chicken Little bit.
  • Jermaine Jackson is reportedly trying to sell a book in which he casts doubt on his brother’s innocence. I didn’t know Tito had been accused of anything.
  • Helo, gorjous! According to Drudge, Barbra Streisand has written another scathing indictment of George Bush, ridiculing him as a C student. Unfortunately, she misspelled eleven words.
  • Sean Lennon and Elizabeth Jagger spent the night together at a hotel recently – sparking rumours they are dating again. Meanwhile, Julian Lennon had a nice conversation with a cashier at the Piggly Wiggly.
  • Tom Hanks was reportedly mad that they Forrest Gump theme was played when he presented at the Oscars because he was told it wouldn’t be. This proves once again that the Oscars are like  box of chocolates…

OF THE DAY…

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Jimmy20fallon CAREER MOVE: Jimmy Fallon fires his agents (Page Six)

OFFICE MORALE BOOSTER: Silicon Valley’s own Fight Club. Software wizards/cubicle-mates kick each other’s asses to let out their aggression at work. (A Welsch View)

BABY JANE : Sharon Stone. Check our her demented get up at Elton John’s Oscar Party. (Perez Hilton)

REVELATION: "Michael Jackson has a Thing for Kids" according to Britain’s old gray lady (Female First)

HEADLINE: "Hippie Chimps Fast Disappearing as Dinner." Too bad. Hippie Chimps are so yummy when you smoke as much ganja as the editors at (CNN)

HOUSEHOLD UTILITY: The Toilet. Forget the Oscars, from Mary J. Blige’s anal obsession to Kate Moss’s bathroom bump,  today was all about the crapper(BWE)

While You Were Noticing That It’s Hard Out There For A Pimp

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  • Basicinstinct
    Sharon Stone
    wants credit for breaking a few glass ceilings in Hollywood. And her vagina wants to be credited as a co-star.
  • CBS has renewed 14 shows, but not King of Queens, Yes Dear, or Still Standing. And you thought the loss of Arrested Development hurt.
  • Speaking of cancelled TV shows, The WB has canned Charmed after 8 seasons, which is only surprising news to the two dozen people who knew that it was still on the air.
  • Rod Stewart has been ordered to pay $3 million for cancelling a concert in Las Vegas, which means– believe it or not– that some people were actually upset about not seeing a Rod Stewart show in Las Vegas.
  • Macauley Culkin gripes, "I don’t know what people want from me." The answer: just do that cute Home Alone scream and we’re all good.
  • A Family Guy video game will be hitting shelves this fall. Victory will be yours.

IN CASE YOU MISSED IT: Kelly Clarkson’s New Video

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Kelly Clarkson would like you to believe that cops, football players and office associates all love to sing her popular songs when they come on the radio. But really it’s just teenage girls…and it’s probably just that one song.  But we’ll let you be the judge of that. Check out here new video for Walk Away. Let us know if her music moves you to sing uncontrollably in an otherwise professional boardroom meeting. That may be grounds for a lawsuit.

SIZZLER: Is Terrence Howard Gay???

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The short answer: Probably not. However, it’s amazing what happens when you slide a couple of effeminate looking photographs over a RuPaul song and match it up with some out of context interview quotes.

It just got even harder out there for a pimp. Shame on you, Media Take Out. Shame.

SIZZLER: Nick Hearts Kristin?

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Nicklach In the past few weeks he’s been linked to Alyssa Milano, Miss Kentucky and Cheryl "Dancing with the Stars" Burke, but Nick Lachey has found his perfect match. Laguna Beach’s Kristen Cavelleri has been spotted on several dates with Lachey and has reportedly even met his mom. Meanwhile, Kristen has appeared on two UPN shows(Lets Get This Party Started and Veronica Mars) and Nick has guest starred on the WB’s Charmed and Twins. If this relationship works out, we can expect to hear the patter of little CW’s.

Pretty Girls in Pretty Dresses

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Michelle We could write a commentary on last night’s best and worst dressed at the Oscars. We could shower some actresses with compliments and complain about the waistlines and color choices of other actresses. But here at Best Week Ever, we don’t need an excuse to show you pictures of really pretty women in really pretty dresses.  After the jump we bring you 8 red carpet pictures, absolutely opinion-free. Enjoy.

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