In today’s episode, Tony sucks face.
Remember Charlie Sheen’s kid’s clothing line Sheen Kidz which debuted a few weeks ago –on the same day his wife got a restraining order against him? Sure Denise really pissed Charlie off, by sabotaging his fashion dreams. But she was just getting started. Now she’s starting her own kid’s clothing line to compete with Sheen Kidz called Kidtoure debuting this summer that will feature novelty t-shirts for girls up to 10 years old. So not only are they dragging their own kids into one of the messiest divorces in history, now every kid in the mall is going to have to choose between the two of them. You know how this is going to end: Sheen Kidz will be worn every other weekend, under supervision.
Upon further consideration of this week’s “Diva Beef” post, I’ve realized that the Dueling Bimbos of today really do mirror Hip-Hop’s infamous East Coast/West Coast rivalries from the late 90′s. Replace glocks with cell phones, dis tracks with tabloid quotes, and it’s essentially the same thing. This is long and complicated, so try to stay with me:
The Main Players
Now: Lindsay Lohan
Then: Biggie Smalls
Affiliation: East Coast
Lindsay Lohan and Biggie Smalls are both enormous personalities known for their voracious appetites (Biggie for food, Lindsay for men) and highly-visible presence on the NYC scene. Biggie dealt coke, Lindsay allegedly snorted it – and both of them ended up as the West Coast posse’s most reviled foe. No one knows the exact origins of the beefs between Big and ‘Pac, or Paris and Lindsay, but they constantly fought over issues like the opposite sex (Lil’ Kim/ Wilmer Valderrama), turf (drug trade/magazine covers) and overall respect (album sales/who gets to star in Brett Ratner’s next movie).
Recognizing that the British have more benefits than American folks, the rich and powerful have decided to throw us a bone. Where as yesterday, we had to pay for healthcare and we couldn’t watch the video footage of Pete Doherty’s syringe blood squirt because it was only available on MTV Overdrive in the UK, today one of those problems has been solved.
Go to MTV overdrive and scroll down for a link to the footage.
The initial shock of “Holy s**t, there’s actually a movie coming up titled Snakes On A Plane” seems to have subsided, however the humor regarding the whole thing has not. Take this Snakes On A Plane rap video Dropped by nthdegree. It’s the best movie-rap since Hammer’s “Addams Family.”
The Wow Report has the scoop on Kate Moss’s new boyfriend, British comic Russell Brand, an MTV veejay and host on the UK’s Big Brother. According to tabloids he’s also “a recovering heroin, crack, and sex addict.” A friend says, “Kate finds Russell hilarious and he has the sort of rock star looks she’s attracted to.” That’s all well and good, but does he really have what it takes to win Kate’s heart? While Brand’s been arrested 11 times, her last boyfriend was arrested twice in one day. That’s a hard act to follow. What’s worse, while Kate’s ex is finding new, creative ways to celebrate his addiction everyday, Brand hasn’t touched the hard stuff since 2003. Boooring. But lucky for Kate, based on this picture, he still indulges in a little crack.
- Let’s start with MOKB. Why? Because today they have 3 tracks by Ghostland Observatory, as well as cover tunes by Ted Leo, Kelly Clarkson, Editors, and Franz Ferdinand. That’s why.
- Fluxblog has a new track by The Walkmen, which sounds like a Dylan cover (but isn’t.) They’re goooood.
- Ian Curtis of Joy Division committed suicide 26 years ago today. Ear Farm pays their respect by posting 4 tracks for you to enjoy.
- Speaking of suicide (always a great segue, I know) rbally has 7 live Nirvana tracks from a 1991 show at Music Source Studios.
- And finally, GrapeJuiceplus has Beck’s classic track “MTV Makes Me Want To Smoke Crack.” Thanks to Yo Mamma, I’ve never agreed more.
Will Marissa be offed tonight on the season finale of The OC? What kind of future are Will and Grace going to decide on during the series finale of Will & Grace? And above all, who’s going to win on American Inventor? Tonight’s the night we find out.
It’s a night of finales, and essentially nothing else (beyond Diva Mummy and The History of the Freemasons.) ER and CSI wave goodbye tonight. Ashton Kutcher drops by That 70′s Show for its final episode, while Jason Priestley drops by Without a Trace in an effort to get that show cancelled the same way he did Love Monkey. So what are you most excited about tonight? Vote now!
Props to GaylenOraylee who dropped an update for us Power Ranger fans. Kobe Bryant, star guard of the Los Angeles Lakers, is rumored to be cast as the Blue Power Ranger in the upcoming TV series “Power Rangers Relic Hunters,” set to air in 2007. Word is his character must go from comic relief guy to serious member of the team in seconds flat. But based on his last TV appearance in 1996 in an episode of “Moesha,” producers are confident he has the emotional depth needed for the part. And if he doesn’t Red Power Ranger has his back.
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Anyone who ever had a child knows that ‘firsts’ are a big deal: the first time you hold them, their first laugh, their first exclusive picture deal with US Magazine. Awww.
We know moments like these will be remembered forever and the $4 million in cash they’ll be getting from the magazine is merely a symbol of those memories. The couple plans to give the money to UNICEF, but they may want to consider mounting it in a baby book, so they’ll never forget what a savvy negotiator their little angel was.