ICYMI: The Simpsons Movie Clips


Straight outta Comic-Con, Film Wad has a couple of clips of the looooong awaited Simpsons movie, set to come out next year. The best quote that Simpsons geeks will be echoing for years to come? Homer’s “Why does everything I whip leave me?” Watch it now.

Link via Gorillamask
UPDATE: Apparently sneaking a video camera into a private screening and posting the footage on YouTube is not cool. Who would’ve thunk it? The video’s been removed.

While You Were Debating O-Town’s Sexuality…



Sex Advice From 90’s Icons


screech.jpgI learned everything I know about sex in the 90’s. I bet I’m not alone. Thanks to television shows like the aptly named Sex In The 90’s and movies like Blown Away, I left the decade well informed and very prepared. But as nice as it was picking up tips from The Dog Brothers and The Coreys, I never actually received any sex advice from 90’s icons. Until today.

Alexis Tirado and the folks over at Nerve.com lined up some well-known 90’s icons to help out the youth of today. The list includes Dustin “Screech” Diamond, Susan Powter, Jake “Squirt TV” Fogelnest, Dan Renzi from Real World: Miami, and the infamous Wiley Wiggins, best known as Mitch from Dazed & Confused. You’d think Screech would the be highlight of this thing, but no. Mr. Wiggins steals the show.

Did President Clinton’s affair with Monica Lewinsky make oral sex more acceptable?
You’re asking me was oral sex less acceptable in the ’80s than it was in the ’90s? I have no idea. I could never get anybody to go down on me when I was ten. All the girls in my elementary school were prudes.

Mine too, Mitch. Mine too. Read the whole thing here.

Best Night Ever: Wednesday, July 26th


It’s Best Night Ever for Wednesday, July 26th! Shea Hess is here to walk you through the best of Wednesday night tv, including Rockstar, America’s Got Talent, and Project Runway!




  • SELF-PROMOTING LIST: Rolling Stone ranks the Top 500 songs of All-Time, putting Bob Dylan‘s “Like a Rolling Stone” and the Rolling Stones’ “Satisfaction” as numbers 1 and 2. Ranked third? Little known band Oversized Magazine‘s song “Rolly, the Stone that Rolled.”

  • McMIRACLE: Katherine McPhee beats her medically diagnosed McLaryngitis and returns to the American Idol tour. 11-year-old girls and 45-year-old men sigh in relief.
  • REASON TO BUY TIVO: Rosie O’Donnell‘s debut on The View is set for Sept. 5, and her first guest will be Jessica Simpson. You know the poor thing is gonna run off the set in terry-cloth daisy dukes and tears. Jessica that is, not Rosie… we hope.
  • POONMAN: Soundgarden has been slated to write the theme song to the new James Bond thriller, Casino Royale. The song is called “You Know My Name”, and if it’s anything like their anthem “Black Hole Sun”, we’ll be 13, awkward-looking, and friendless.
  • CRINGE-INDUCING PHOTOMONTAGE: The latest issue of Details features a photo-quiz comparing faces of Food Network chefs enjoying a meal to porno stars in the throes of ecstasy. Seeing Rachel Ray make her “O” face is like being groped by a drunk uncle… try to avoid it if you can.

SIZZLER: The Lohan Guide to Celeb Medical Terms


lohangover.jpgWhile filming her latest movie in LA, Lindsay Lohan had to be rushed to a local hospital where she was reportedly treated for “overheating and dehydration”. Though her condition could not have been too serious as she was spotted out that very same night in Hollywood, somehow rehabilitated and ready to paint the town all over again. As this is not Lindsay’s first fatigue-related hospital visit, we thought we’d use our medical expertise provide you with this brief guide to better understanding the real meaning behind all these confusing Lohan health care terms:

“Dehydration” – too much booze.
“Exhaustion” – too much blow.
“Overheating” – too much booze and blow on the beach.

We hope these practical explanations will ease any concerns you might have about the well-being of your favorite party-loving starlet. Rest assured, this is just another one of her patented “Lohangovers” – nothing a little water, some aspirin and six or seven Red Bull & vodkas can’t take care of.

It’s Never Too Soon to Learn Credit Card Misery!


monop.JPGIn a new version of the classic Monopoly board game, players will use fake Visa Debit Cards instead of fake money to conduct their fake real estate transactions. We think this might be the greatest thing to happen to board games since Operation blew our minds back in the 80’s with its cutting-edge illuminated nose technology. Now even young children can get a head start on learning one of life’s most important lessons: even if you don’t have money to buy something, there are magical cards that allow you to purchase it anyway. Say you’ve got your eye on Marvin Gardens but the Community Chest just poked you with some stupid school tax that left you strapped until the next time you pass Go. No worries, bro – just charge that sh*t. Sure, the dude with a monopoly on Boardwalk may screw you on the fixed interest rate, but there’s always a Chance Card that you could be coming into an inheritance soon, and you can just pay off the debt then, no sweat! You might default on the loan and land yourself in jail, but sometimes in life – and Monopoly – you’ve just gotta roll the dice.

Overall, some great improvements – but here’s hoping that the next version of the game replaces Water Works with Speedy’s Fast Cash Checking Loans, and drops Electric Company in favor of American Consumer Credit Counseling. Also, it might not be a bad idea to get some loan sharks and gambling going around Baltic Avenue. That place is ghetto anyway.

BWE Exclusive: Lance Bass Acting Gay Way Back in 2001!


Breaking! Check out this prophetic McDonald’s commercial from 2001. It features a fresh-faced and still closeted Lance Bass playing “Spin the Bottle” with the rest of N’Sync squad, plus a surprisingly well-kempt Britney Spears. The result of Lance’s over-eager bottle twirl is… well… the final expression should sum it up nicely.

PROPPED: Project Runway Drinking Game!


ProjRunway.JPGWhat are you doing tonight at 10 pm? If you had any sense, you’d be curled up on your couch with a diamond studded pashmina at your feet, watching the third installment of Project Runway. Props to reader stilettoxmafia who dropped a thorough and fun Project Runway Drinking Game! We’ve tacked on some extra things to watch/sip out for tonight.

  • One for Time Gunn saying either “make it work” or “carry on.”
  • One for a product placement references. Example, “Send your models to the Tresemee hair salor and use the Macy’s accessory wall.”
  • Read more…

ICYMI: Colin Gets Glib on ‘Today’


Proppers to Defamer for catching this clip of Collin Farrell (who might still be rattled by his recent super-fan troubles) on The Today Show, which sent us into a hellish flashback when Colin begins loudly proclaiming that Matt Lauer is being “glib”. If this outburst wasn’t stress-related, but instead just an ill-conceived attempt at Cruise humor, he should have completed the bit by doing Tom’s Thetan Dance right there in Rockefeller Center. You don’t half-ass on “The Cruise”, especially when you’re surrounded by a crowd of gawking midwesterners who came all the way to NY to see it.