Now that promising pupil Darth Britney Spears has been vanquished by the Jedi mind tricks of K-Fed, the Sith Lord Madonna has taken on a new apprentice – Darth Lindsay Lohan. MSNBC reports that Lohan’s initial flirtation with Kabbalah has evolved into some heavy petting via regular meetings with the Material Girl, and is now reaching the point of consumation, as the two divas are now discussing collaborating on a duet. So can we look forward to seeing these multi-generational sex symbols engaged in an awkwardly calculated mother-daughter Awards Show lesbian kiss anytime soon? Unfortunately, they just missed the MTV Movie Awards and the Oscars are still months away.
So I have a question for you: Should I start watching Windfall? I feel like I should. Apparently it’s going to be the big hit of the summer, and since I have a history of missing big shows when they first come out (i.e. Lost, The O.C., Freddie, etc.) I’m thinking I should get on the Windfall wagon right away so I’m not left out. But I don’t know. Is it any good? Help.
Believe it or not, Windfall isn’t even the must-see show of the night. That award goes to its lead-in, Dateline, which centers around the very emotional and very pregnant Britney Spears. Based on the NBC promo, you know she’s going to break down and bawl her eyes out on at least one occasion. The over/under in Vegas is 3. You have to watch.
Beyond all that, tonight we have the season premiere of three MTV shows: Making The Band 3, Run’s House, and Pimp My Ride. So what are YOU watching tonight? Vote now!
- Hilary Duff thinks New York Times critic Stephen Holden is mean about her acting because he’s just jealous. Would die to make out with a member of Good Charlotte.
- Heath Ledger apologizes to Howard Stern for snub. But Stern’s still going to kick his ass at 3 o’ clock, behind the school yard.
- Ex-con pleads guilty to trying to sell back J.Lo’s stolen wedding video. Where was this guy when Angel Eyes came out?
- Burt Reynolds’ Florida museum is to close. People just don’t value art anymore, or moustaches for that matter.
- Taylor Hicks’ high school girlfriend reminisces about their prom. Of course it was during prohibition so they couldn’t get tanked.
- Lisa Kudrow is making a comeback on NBC. On the condition that she doesn’t make another Comeback.
It’s Best Night Ever for Wednesday, June 14th! Dan Hopper is here to walk you through the best of Wednesday night tv, including So You Think You Can Dance?, Blue Collar TV, and Dog Bites Man!
- THE SO-NOT-ENTERTAINING-IT’S-ENTERTAINING CONCEPT: The Worst of YouTube. (Dinnerpartyhead)
- MISTAKEN IDENTITY: Matt Dillon mistaken for crazy knife-wielding maniac. Though he was just happy to be recognized. (BlogNYC)
- DIE HARD, PUNCH HARDER: A paparazzo claims Bruce Willis attacked him. So… where are the pictures then? (TMZ)
- DISTURBING PARENTING NEWS: Pam Anderson says her kids use the stripper pole in her bedroom more than she does. Don’t even ask about the handcuffs. (WWTDD)
- CANDY: Chocolate Covered Penis… if you’re David Gest, that is. (Tabloid Whore!)
Tom Cruise has been actively recruiting Hollywood super-couple Brangelina ever since they had their baby. He’s offered Angelina humanitarian awards, and Brad paternal advice. He’s even lent the couple his private jet. But no matter what he does, beautiful, successful, emotionally-fulfilled Brangelina just won’t join Scientology.
Of course they won’t, they don’t need to. Tom’s heart’s in the right place, but he’s going about things in the wrong way. Every religious leader knows the best converts are people in crisis. Just ask Jesus, he’s already got his celebrity quota in the bag. Today drug-addled rehab-bound Pete Doherty told press he’s been talking to the big C, who told him to “pull himself together and repent his sins.” Now that’s the what we’re talking about, Tom, tough love on down-and-out celebrities. That’s the only way to play this crazy religion game. It also couldn’t hurt to drop the whole the alien thing. It’s kind of creeping people out.
- It’s no “Crazy In Love” but it’s damn good. Checkerboard Chimes has Beyonce’s new single “Deja Vu”. Listen to it if you’ve forgotten how great Jay-Z is (he’ll remind you about 2 seconds in.)
- Yeti Don’t Dance has a great cover of George Michael’s “Faith” today by The Boy Least Likely To. It’s roughly 10,000 better than the Limp Bizkit one (give or take).
- Indieblogheaven posted a couple of tracks off the new Futureheads album that everybody seems to love. Go love it too.
- Mp3 Hugger is all about the 12 months of the year, with tracks by Fiona Apple (“Pale September”), Band of Horses (“St. Augustine”) and so much more.
- And finally, You Ain’t No Picasso has two tracks from Pitchfork’s favorite band of the week, the Evangelicals. Download them quick, before Pitchfork decides they’re “so over.”
When John Mayer dropped by Chappelle’s Show during its second season you couldn’t help but gain a new respect for the man. Sure, his lyrics to “Your Body Is A Wonderland” were funny; but seeing him hold his own with Dave made you realize that John could be intentionally funny as well.
So how funny is John, exactly? Well, if you’re in New York you can find out tonight. I was just tipped off by an anonymous BWE comedian (okay, it was Sherrod Small) that John is dropping by The Comedy Cellar tonight to try his hand at stand-up comedy. He’ll be hitting up the 11 o’clock show; so if you’re a hot, young female fan you should leave your boyfriend at home and head on down to MacDougal Street and check it out.
That last part was Sherrod’s idea, of course.
Update: Mayer says he’s not doing standup tonight:
Someone got very excited when I said “I’ll call you tomorrow.”
I won’t ever get on stage at a comedy club when people know about it.
Quite simply, I can’t defend it. Don’t want to, either.
Just want to attack a new learning curve, and a different form of observation.
I like sucking at something I love. Keeps it honest.
This is some Rosie O. haiku shit, huh.
Is anyone going? Did he or didn’t he?
Chocaholism is something that’s affected some the greatest talents of our generations. From Cathy to Caroline Rhea, some folks are married to a sweet, brown lover they call chocolate. Unfortunately, it looks like Kevin Federline is the latest victim of this disease (because it is a disease, you know).
BWE has obtained this revealing photo of K-Fed during a recent outing with his dog in Malibu and it proves that Kevin’s problems run deeper than we thought. He’s clearly downing Yoo-Hoo in the middle of the day. When you see a grown man sipping the malted chocolate beverage from a can on a hot summer’s day, you can’t help but feel sad, and a little nauseous. Before you know it, he’ll be stashing empty packets of Ho-Ho’s in his pockets and doing lines of powdered NesCafe. There’s no telling how many lives he’ll destroy in the process. Or worse yet, how many embroidered pillows he’ll inspire.
Word on the street (and by street, I mean PR Newswire) is that Hollywood’s cutest pseudo-hipster couple – Zach Braff and Mandy Moore – have just taken up residence in Splitsville. For Mandy, this is sort of like life imitating art (and by art, I mean her character on Entourage last season brutally dumping young movie star Vincent Chase, sending him into a spiral of misery and shame). But hopefully Braff will handle the heartbreak a little better – after all, he does have an iPod full of life-changing consolation music from The Shins, as well as stacks and stacks of unopened Urban Outfitters Music Sampler CDs from which he was planning on selecting the tracks for his next film’s soundtrack. Keep your chin up, bro.