As the Middle East continues blowing itself to bloody oblivion, the intrepid journalists over at TMZ brush past the carnage and devastation to focus on the truly important issues at hand – like which flack jacket-clad TV journalist is “the biggest hottie”. As we all secretly know but aren’t as bold as TMZ to admit, the explosions and chaos from the warzone in the background are really just an excuse for a bulletproof vest fashion show with primetime news tough guys Anderson Cooper and Richard Engel. This is why TMZ is utterly amazing – within a single blog post they’ve managed to boil the complexities of a decades-long international crisis down into something so simple as determining which reporter looks dreamiest in front of a nation’s total annihilation. God bless America, and God bless TMZ!
We gotta hand it to our friends over at TVGasm for catching this clip from early nineties movie Soapdish. If anyone was to have a show hotter and sandier than Laguna Beach, it would have to be Robert Downey, Jr.
Before he dawned the red and blue tights and set the gay’s hearts aflutter, Superman Returns star Brandon Routh used to kick it with the Lazy Sunday posse themselves, The Lonely Island. At around the half-way point of the clip below, the boy-who-would-be-Superman drops off some sweet flow as the moustachioed police officer Dino Wong. I’m not really sure what you’re supposed to think about this, but somehow it seems important that you see it.
(via A Socialite’s Life)
Bored at work? Hungover? Sick and tired of checking your MySpace profile over and over and over again? Looking for something to do?
Hey, me too!
If you need something to pass the time, head over to Sony’s Monster House site. They have a couple of games up that should keep you busy for a little while. I recommend the Mega Sweet Arcade Game because it’s just that: Mega Sweet.
And hey; it sure beats doing work.
Working in Hollywood is a lot like working on a farm in that nobody can keep their hands clean forever. Celebrity and scandal go hand in hand, and like a loss of virginity (sometimes less metaphorically than others), you never forget your very first time. Despite getting a little dirt on them, some celebs seem like they’ll manage to come out of their first scandals clean as a whistle (UPGRADE), while others you just know will end up dirtier than Brandon Davis’ mouth (DOWNGRADE). Tell us which of these stained stars will continue to shine, and which ones are going to burn out before we know it.
The reviews of Lady in the Water are in, and they are not good. So instead of spending $10 to sit through 2 hours of evangelical mumbo-jumbo, check out this hilarious and yet terrifying short video called “The Life and Death of a Pumpkin,” and spend the remaining hour and fifty-five minutes organizing an angry letter-writing campaign to M. Night Shame-he’s-lame.
Check out this picture taken of Ashlee Simpson in New York City yesterday. Something about it is kind of confusing. Let’s begin with her face. She looks good following her nose job and possible lip plumping, you have to admit that. Good tan, standard issue 45-pound sunglasses, fake hair likely ripped from the hands of cancer patients. What’s confusing is her t-shirt. Ashlee apparently never got the memo that girls just don’t do… scat — I mean that, sorry… “that”. Why spend thousands on a face transplant if you’re just going to have people picture it all squinched up on a toilet somewhere? You wouldn’t wear a shirt that said “I’m So Happy I Could Just Skin A Baby”, would you? We imagine Jessica Simpson is looking very upset right now — assuming she still has the ability to make facial expressions.
- Naomi Cambell was arrested yet again after throwing a violent temper tantrum outside of her boyfriend’s house. I don’t know about you people, but I’d pay good money to see her go head-to-head with Pete Doherty in an all-out, no-holds-barred arrest-off.
- A woman was taken into custody for rushing the stage and attempting to accost Colin Farrell during last night’s taping of The Tonight Show. All she really needed to bed the star was a fifth of Bushmill’s and pack of Camels, but we admire her enthusiasm.
- Natasha Lyonne finally resurfaced after weeks of speculation that she had become a reclusive junkie. Turns out she’s actually just addicted to Ho Ho’s.
- A Colorado man is going on a date with Jessica Biel after winning a charity auction with a bid of $30,000. That might seem like a lot, but how else can you make four months’ salary last
foreverfor an hour?
- You know, something seems a little different about Stereogum today. I can’t quite put my finger on it… UPDATE: The hack is down. You can see a screengrab of it here, courtesy of Gawker.
It’s Best Night Ever for Thursday, July 20th! Brian Faas is here to walk you through the best of Thursday night tv, including Master of Champions, America’s Got Talent, and So You Think You Can Dance?!
- BLANDNESS: How bland is Orlando Bloom, exactly? Well, just consult the Pop Culture Chart of Blandness to find out. (The Jay)
- WTF? GIFT: Oh, a sweater with the faces of Shiloh and Zahara Jolie-Pitt sewn in? Um… thanks? (TMZ)
- UNREWARDING GAME: Build your own Suri Cruise. Hey, Tom & Katie did! (Showbuzz via PopSugar)
- PUNK WEDDING: The bride wore white, the groom wore a tux… wait a second, that isn’t very punk at all!!! Take a look at Avril & Deryck’s wedding album for pics of the beautiful bride. (I’m Not Obsessed)
- BATTERED SIXTH SENSE ALUM: Nope, it’s not Haley. It’s poor M. Night Shmabalaanynyn. Does anybody like his new movie? (Slate)