SIZZLER: Paris Hilton, The Documentary?

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Paris_hilton080

According to Miami Herald blogger Leslie Abravnal, some one is making a documentary on the one and only Paris Hilton . The uber-heiress was spotted at Miami’s Opium nightclub on stage. She "commanded the microphone and did shout outs to all her friends in the crowd. As she did that, a camera crew captured every moment for her next dreadful project–a documentary on her life. "

That’s the only information we have so far. But if this documentary is anything like her sex tape, it will expose more about the state of the nation than Farenheit 911 and the Fog of War combined.

Celebrate Your Wonder Showzen

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Tonight is the premiere episode of the second season of MTV2′s genius comedy program Wonder Showzen.  If you’re not already watching this, you’re missing one of the funniest, most subversive and just…wrong shows ever created.  Here’s an appetizer:

Are Big Mistakes Having The Best Week Ever?

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I think they are. Here are three examples why:
Keanu

1)
Keanu Reeves took a break from thinking just long enough to throw out this gem. Here’s what he learned while filming a rape scene with Hilary Swank: "that some of the ladies don’t mind it… Hah, that’s awful to say."

2) Danny Glover plans on appearing at an early-evening news conference tonight with Cynthia McKinney, the Georgia congresswoman who punched a police officer. What are the first two words that pop into your head when you think of Danny Glover? They’re Lethal Weapon, aren’t they? Probably not the best person to have by your side when you’re awaiting assault charges…

3) Basic Instinct 2.
I’m no expert, but I’d say that when 71 of 77 reviews on Rotten Tomatoes.com, are negative, the movie could prooooobably be classified as a mistake. In fact, I think that seals the deal: mistakes are having the best week ever.

You Cannot Petition Hot Topic With Prayer

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Protest

There is an issue that is burning up the petition circuit. No, I’m not talking about puppy mills, though that is an excellent cause. I’m talking about Hot Topic, the only place for "young men and women between the ages of 12 and 22 who are passionate about rock music, pop culture and music-inspired fashion" to shop. What is the problem with Hot Topic? That depends on who you ask. It’s either too goth, not punk enough, not in enough places, essential to San Francisco teens, or not in Australia. Before you decided which petition to sign, read the argument for each one after the jump…

Read more…

The Daily Danza

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If you saw a homeless person on the street wearing a birthday hat and rapping to pigeon you’d think: that dude’s crazy. But what about when Tony Danza does it?

The Friday Five

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Ringtones
We’re gonna mix things up a little this week instead of doing our usual iPod shuffle.  My friend Lindsay got me thinking about an interesting question – which songs make good cell phone ringers?  Selecting a song that doesn’t make you sound like a total lame-o every time your phone rings is harder than it sounds.  You want it to say something about you, but not TOO MUCH.  You want it to be a cool song, but not TOO COOL.  Silly, but not TOO SILLY.  You have to like it enough to hear it over and over again.  And no matter what, never EVER be the guy with the Maroon 5 ringer.

Here are five that I came up with (all chosen from the options available to me through my cellphone service):

"Hard Fo’ a Pimp" by DJay – This is probably the greatest ringtone in the history of the form.  I have it as my ringtone and you should too.  No, wait.
"Let’s Get It On" by Marvin Gaye – Classic, timeless, and just a little sleazy.  Everything a ringtone should be.
"Hate It or Love It" by The Game – Use this catchy tune in leiu of being the bajillionth person to have "In Da Club".
"Loser" by Beck – This is a very meta choice in that the song is about a being a loser and having this song for your ringtone is a little loser-ish, thereby fulfilling the song’s own message as it’s playing.  Wrap your brain around THAT.
"Surround Me" by Scott Stapp – Having this as your ringtone shows people that you’re tough and not afraid to fight.

American Idol Rejection Isn’t So Bad

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Covais_tucker_0330_160x120 With most reality shows once you’re time’s up, you’re pretty much handed your walking papers and kicked to the curb. But if you’re kicked off American Idol, you’re practically treated like a king.

According to TMZ.com: after the remaining ‘Idols’ say goodbye to their comrade, the rejected ‘Idol’ is immediately taken into a private room, in which a psychologist and an ‘Idol’ management rep are present. No one is allowed to enter while certain issues are addressed — the rejected ‘Idol’s’ feelings, what he or she can and can not talk about, what that person can and can not do, and what responsibilities they have now that they’re off the show. 

If that weren’t enough, the remaining cast takes the rejected contestant out for a family-style Italian dinner. 

All the salad and breadsticks I want? And a free shrink? Kevin Covais hit the jackpot.

IN CASE YOU MISSED IT: The Office PSA’s

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The_officeWere you watching NBC last night? If so, you probably saw a couple of bizarre public service announcements courtesy of the cast of The Office.

From tips on what to do in the event of a bear attack to the sage advice of ‘never make a sex tape,’ these hilarious spoofs were probably funnier than the shows the came on during. Yet still not quite as funny as some of the real "The More You Know" psa’s.

You can watch the five they aired last night, plus a bunch of other ones right here.