As this weekend’s Oscar hopefuls are nervously pacing around their mansions in the Hollywood hills, loudly demanding that their high-priced speechwriters make their prepared statements sound simultaneously smarter, more natural and "kind of but not too political", our friends over at CRACKED have gotten their hands on some Rough Drafts of Past Oscar Acceptance Speeches.
Check them out!
Match the nominee to a little-known fact (answers after the jump):
1. Ang Lee (Brokeback Mountain) 2. Bennett Miller (Capote) 3. Paul Haggis (Crash) 4. George Clooney (Good Night, and Good Luck) 5. Steven Spielberg (Munich)
A. Owns a pet pig named Max.
B. Had a heart attack while filming his Oscar-nominated movie.
C. While attending NYU, worked on one of Spike Lee‘s student films.
D. Applied to USC Cinema School twice and was turned down both times.
E. Directed The Cruise, a documentary about a double-decker bus tour guide.
There’s nothing more juvenile than prank phone calls. And using soundboards to make prank phone calls is so 20th century. Finally, everyone in the world has his own impression of Bill Lumbergh from Office Space. So why am I linking to this prank phone call using clips from an Office Space soundboard? Because it still makes me laugh, and I just can’t help myself. Go here for even more prank calls. If you heard them before, why not listen to them again for the first time?
While you may have seen lots of Lindsay Lohan’s candid pictures on other site, you probably missed the captions since her friend took them down. Like this one.
Caption: S’mores at Letos
We knew Jared Leto was a bad influence on Lindsay. Ever since she hooked up with the Hollywood player, she’s been partying harder than ever before. But we never imagined he’d get her into s’mores. That sh*t is addictive.
Brokeback Mountain has struck a chord with a lot of people.
Well, it didn’t strike Stephen Colbert’s chord.
Before Brokeback cleans up at Sunday’s Academy Awards Ceremony, be sure to watch Colbert’s take on everybody’s favorite gay cowboy movie. Well, everybody’s except his.
Watch the video here.
Check out this hilarious clip of Triumph doing what he does best: being really, really insulting.
According to techie experts, there is a new virus infiltrating emails offering nude pictures of Paris Hilton. Called Bagle-do, the worm prompts readers to open the file promising a glimpse at the celebrity, but then infects their computer and potentially others who receive emails from that computer. The highly contagious virus spreads quickly from email to email, but often it’s symptoms are undetectable. And while there’s no cure, Valtrex does help reduce sypmtoms.
Here’s what Grey’s Anatomy writer Krista Vernoff had to say on the show’s blog about American Idol contestant Kevin Covais:
WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT KEVIN COVAISâ€™ SPEECH IMPEDIMENT? Seriously, how are you supposed to have a professional singing career when you sound like this: â€œYou should have told me yourthelf, that you loved thomeone elth, insthead I heard it through the grapevineâ€¦â€??? He is sweet kid â€“ even a talented singer, but seriously!
Now I see why all the patients on Grey’s Anatomy have ridiculous diseases: The writers think that disabilities are something to make fun of. Nice job, Krista!