- TYPECASTING: Helen Wagner. She has played Nancy Hughes on the As the World Turns for 50 years.
- ANNOYING PROMOS: USA Network. On my Criminal Intent reruns, they make Wynona Judd and Monk pop up on the screen way, way too often.
- MEAT: Nascar. They have just released their own line of meat products, including bacon and hot dogs.
- OLYMPIC THREAT: American White Moth. It is threatening to turn Beijing’s "green Olympics" brown. They are using sexually attracting agents, insecticide lamps, and bees to combat them.
- ANN MAGNUSON MOVIE REVIEW: Adam & Steve. She calls it the gay Annie Hall.
- SPAM SUBJECT LINE THAT TRICKED ME: "Tomorrow." I hate it when they actually fool me, but I had to know what was going to happen tomorrow!
NBC has just announced that all current episodes of this season of Scrubs are now available on iTunes. He may be playing a goofy but irresistible doctor on i-Pods across America now, but we remember when Zach Braff first appeared on our clunky wood-paneled TV set as an awkward, humorless teen in the Babysitter’s Club. Check out these old-school screen grabs of Braff on TBC courtesy of Barbie Martini. Never forget where you came from, Braff. (And never get that haircut again.)
Morrissey says he hates Tony Blair’s wife, Cherie’s, face. He’s more of an ass man.
- Jessica Simpson looks up to Angelina Jolie. And in an effort to be more like her, she plans on stealing Brad Pitt away from his girlfriend.
- Dick Cheney tackles Fox News, bunker busters, and Karl Rove in his stand-up comedy debut. And somehow it’s still funnier than Free Ride.
- Nicollete Sheridan has selected her wedding gown for her upcoming nuptuals with Michael Bolton. Much like Bolton himself, the dress can only be appreciated ironically.
- Brokeback Mountain has been banned in the Bahamas. Because they’re intolerant of cowboys. What, why else do you think they’d ban it?
- Lindsay Lohan’s maybe-boyfriend Leonardo DiCaprio was caught with a Gisele lookalike "snogging like mad." Upon hearing the news Lindsay said it was fine, but admitted that if she ever found out he was kissing somebody else she’d be pissed.
Reunions are always a good time to make amends, patch up old feuds and show your past acquaintances how well you’ve matured. Unless of course you’re at the Flava of Love reunion–then you gonna get bitch-slapped.
A humble suggestion for the writers of LOST:
Last night when I was watching the show, something occurred to me: nobody on the island seems even remotely concerned about sex. Sure, there was the Sayeed/Shannon thing and all sorts of painfully unfulfilled sexual tension between Kate and Jack and Sawyer, but I find it strange that sex is never even so much as implied or alluded to on the show. These people have been stuck on that island for months now with nothing to do, and I’m sure that some of them have to be pretty hard up some for some lovin’. I haven’t seen such a sexless collection of "mystery solvers" since Scooby-Doo. Hell, even the "others" have to kidnap children, which leads me to believe they’re either without women or saving themselves for marriage.
Since they insist on stretching their plot points out for million years, what the show really needs is a total horndog character to provide a comedic/romantic subplot about their unending quest to bone everybody on the island, leaving all that "mystery solving" to Locke and company. Hurley’s eating problems are boring – why not make him a raging sex fiend? Or maybe Samantha from Sex and the City can crash a hang-glider and get stranded or something. Quit it with all this "secret maps and mystery" gobbleygook and get to the real action!
At least Sun is getting laid.
Attention Clay Aiken Fans, a non-confirmed release date for Clay Aiken’s upcoming LP was accidentally posted this past weekend due to an internal mis-communication. Clay is currently in a studio working hard on his pending album. Title and release date are TBD. Sorry for the confusion!
I’m not buying it for a minute. I mean, what does "TBD" mean? And oh, he’s "working hard" huh? Wink, wink. And what about that code word "confusion"? What else are people confused about? Don’t be fooled. Clay Aiken loves rollercoasters, and it scares RCA.
What can you say about comedy duo Stuckey & Murray? Well, you can say one thing: These guys love unicorns. I mean, they really love unicorns. You’ll see.
Danza isn’t taking getting canceled too well.
By now you’ve probably already seen the now-famous "Leprechaun Sighting" video somewhere on the Internets, and had a hearty chuckly at just how wacky those below-the-poverty-line people can really be. But who knew what a pot o’ gold of attetion this little bit of viral video would actually get?
There’s the explanation of the "sighting". The many, many t-shirts commemorating the classic sketch. The music video remix. The MySpace profile. And of course the follow-up news report in which the action news team ponders the awesome power of this magical new invention called "the internet".
(some of these links provided by the Thighmaster)