Since every other blog on the planet is allowed to show the hot Scarlett Johansson in a bikini photos except for us, (seriously, we’re talking EVERY site. You can’t throw a rock without hitting Scarlett’s beautiful breasts) we here at Best Week Ever want to show you, the readers, that we still have what it takes to be your one-stop-shop for entertainment news… even with our hands tied! So, that’s why, we’re presenting you with… Kelly Clarkson in a bikini photographs! They’re just as good!
Enjoy them while you can. And in the event you come back here and they’re gone, head on over to Hollywood Tuna. Because sometimes you just need pictures of an American Idol in a bikini eating a hot dog. Besides the ones of Clay Aiken.
Put Danza in a sumo wrestlers’ suit and watch him go…
Last night’s premiere episode of Celebrity Cooking Showdown, a new series that pits minor celebrities against each other in the kitchen, lacked the shock value of American Idol or the panache of Dancing with the Stars. But it did have one thing other shows couldn’t top: Alan Thicke. The former Seaver who, by the way, never ages, managed to sneak in a Simon Cowell-esque dig in his unassuming game show host voice.
Narrating- ala Iron Chef- as pinup Cindy Margolis cooked frantically, Thicke noted that Margolis isn’t used to doing things for herself. He said: Cindy’s husband owns a restaurant, she has three meals a day delivered, she had her twins delivered by a surrogate. Is there a pattern here?
Is he calling her lazy for not baring her own children? Gosh, I hope so. Listen up for more Thicke-isms through out the week. I can’t wait to hear what he has to say about new dad and tonight’s guest Ashley Parker Angel.
According to the New York Post, Tom Cruise’s people skewed the results of a recent poll on Parade.com in his favor.
"Parade.com recently asked online readers whether they thought Cruise was responsible for his disastrous public relations year or if it was the media’s fault. A shocking 84 percent of respondents blamed the press. But Parade publicist Alexis Collado tells us: "We at Parade found this a little bit fishy, so we did some investigating. We found out more than 14,000 (of the 18,000-plus votes) that came in were cast from only 10 computers!"
Now the magazine thinks Tom’s people built a computer program that skewed the votes, and we feel really bad about that. We were only trying to help the poor guy who’s been a victim of the vicious media . We won’t do it again.
Dunkin Donuts– yeah, the place where the single guy in your office buys the Munchkins when he’s supposed to bake something for a pot luck dinner– is more than just a convenient place to buy coffee (that isn’t Starbucks.) It’s a one-stop shop for coffee lovers… and really bored people at work… on the web, too!
Dunkin has just launched a new mini-site called D Stop, where they have cartoons, videos, e-cards, quizzes, and contests to win Dunkin Donut gift cards. Sign up to win one today (then pass it off to that guy you don’t like in an effort to make him fat before summer.) Head on over and have fun… well, as much fun as you could have on a site with a "Gesture Memory Test." Good luck. [link via AdRants]
While it might not quite be the best music ever, Andy Milonakis’ beef with LA’s finest is pretty damn funny.
Buzz over to The Apiary to hear "Me No Like Hollywood Douchebags" for yourself, and be glad to know that you’re not the only one who feels that way.
Rockin’ lesbian singer Melissa Etheridge and her wife, actress Tammy Lynn Michaels, are expecting twins! That’s right, Etheridge has gone and got another girl pregnant. She already has two children from a previous relationship with another woman. In fact, you may remember who Etheridge chose as the sperm donor for the first two: David Crosby.
We think there’s no better choice for sperm donor than an overweight, recovering drug addict with a permanent handlebar mustache. So who did Tammy and Melissa choose to top Crosby as the father of their twins?
Here are our top three guesses as to who they chose as sperm donor:
- Pete Doherty: If they’re looking for an addict, he’s their man. I mean Doherty’s heroin addiction makes Crosby look like he likes the occasional white wine spritzer .
- Bruce Villanche: If they’re looking for fat guy with facial hair, look no further. Villanche grows a great beard and is twice the size of Crosby but half the man. And what a joker!
- Kevin Federline: The sensible choice. If anyone can impregnate a woman with two babies in one shot, it’s him.
Now it’s your turn: who do you think is Etheridge’s sperm donor?
And they’ll record a crappy rap song. Following in the tradition of the ’85 Chicago Bears "Superbowl Shuffle," the NY Mets unveiled a new theme song last night titled "Our Team, Our Time." Yes, the Mets have the best record in baseball right now… but it’s April. Shouldn’t you hold off on the awkwardly 80′s rap where you rhyme "Pedro Martinez will strike you out" with "he’s throwing heat, No Doubt!" until the playoffs? Maybe I’m just a traditionalist, I don’t know.
Listen to the new NY Mets song right here. Yeah, it’s bad, but at least nobody on the team is responsible (you can’t say the same for those ’85 Bears)… and at least it’s still better than anything K-Fed’s come up with.