If baby Brangelina is born today, the mystics at the New York Post are on to something. Check out the horoscope they published today for people with a May 19th birthday:
Mercury, planet of the mind, moves into the money sector of your chart on your birthday this year, so use your brain power and make your talents pay. But don’t think you have to follow the same path to fame and fortune that others have taken before you. Think of new ways to cash in, ways that will get you noticed, and rewarded.
Like being born.
In what might be the rusty nail in Brandon Davis‘ coffin of sleaziness, his filthy sermon on Lindsay Lohan’s genitalia has actually inspired moral outrage from the likes of Howard Stern and now even Girls Gone Wild creator Joe Francis has stopped screaming “show me your tits!” long enough to weigh in how unclassy Davis is. I’m sorry, but when a masturbation-obsessed shock jock and a man who’s made millions convincing drunken sorority girls to jiggle their boobs around on video come out and call you a sleazebag, it’s time to do some serious soul-searching. That level of sleaziness is utterly unfathomable. With less than two minutes, a handful of paparazzi, and a bloodstream full of vodka-Red Bulls, Brandon Davis has managed to make Larry Flynt look like Jerry Falwell.
Angelina Jolie reportedly went into labor possibly 13 hours ago, or possibly not yet. But according to Extra’s Mark McGrath, who we trust unequivocally with all matters of maternity, she will be going into labor in the next 48 hours starting yesterday. Confused? Look, baby Brangelina is on its way. We don’t know when exactly, but we do know that US Weekly has installed a camera in Angelina’s Suez Canal, in exchange for $5 million. So crack out your cuban cigars, and scream push. Yup, with this one you can make as make noise as you like.
Are you already missing Marissa Cooper? Of course you are.
A couple of days ago Paul Scheer sent a plea out to OC creator Josh Schwartz to let Marissa live. Sadly, it fell on deaf ears.
After reading Paul’s recap of what the poor girl has gone through in the past year, I have to admit that it’s sad seeing her go so tragically. I mean, a car crash, a fiery explosion, the song “Hallelujah” for the thousandth time… Marissa deserved better. Don’t you think?
When we asked some filmmakers to make promos for Best Week Ever and told them that nothing was off limits, we got some interesting results. This one is one of my favorites. Watch Best Weed Ever now.
Fans are outraged that Mischa Barton spoiled the ending of the season finale of the OC. While many are upset that Barton let on that she was going to die before the show aired in an Access Hollywood interview, that’s not why she really spoiled the ending.
Everything was going so well: they graduated, Summer and Cohen were staying together no matter what, the guy who looks disproportionately older than the other cast-members reunited with his mom long enough to get a car. And none of the parents were breaking wine glasses in an alcoholic, sudo-sexual rage. On top of everything, there was a big pool party with chicken fights!! Things were finally perfect on a series riddled with tragedy thick enough to institutionalize all of it’s characters. So why did Mischa have to ruin it by dying in a car crash? Can’t they just have one episode where everything is pleasant? Please, for the sake of
Benjamin McKenzie’s the old guy’s heart.
I’m not really sure why, but ever since Clay Aiken first graced the American Idol stage, there have been persistent and pesky rumors about his sexual preferences. But no matter how straight the kid seems, he can’t seem to shake the gay rumors, from reports of romantic liasons with a military man to this story from Queer Planet, the most trusted source for all the planet’s queer going-ons, alleging that one of Clay’s man-lovers was also underage, and plans on talking to the press! Can’t Captain Hetero ever catch a break?
Remember VH1′s Bands on the Run, the show that challenged four unsigned bands to duke it out for a record label deal? We don’t either. Here at VH1 were haven’t yet fallen in love with 2001. But if yuppiepunk is any sign of what’s cooking our development department, Michael Ian Black will be reminiscing about the winning band Flickerstick in no time. For now, check out this update of where they are now. Or stop by the Firewater Bar and Grill in Dallas to see Flickerstick in the flesh.
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As Tom Cruise was walking out of LA’s Scientology Center, feeling renewed and invigorated after his latest audit, his newfound tranquility was tragically cut short when a deranged, misguided Ethan Hunt fan approached him seeking an autograph – on a bootleg copy of M:I3! After his initial horror subsided, Cruise immediately lept into action, giving the wayward cinema enthusiast an impromptu lesson on the laws governing copyrighted entertainment, raising his voice and snarling, “NO, this is wrong… wrong, wrong, WRONG!”.
After personally – personally – doing his part to battle movie piracy, Cruise dragged the offender back into the Scientology center where the man’s negative illegal-downloading thetans were dutifully removed.
Okay, so let’s break this weekend down, shall we? Tonight we have the final episode of Conviction, the season finale of Numb3rs, and the conclusion of the 16th season of America’s Funniest Home Videos. Yep, apparently that show is still on the air. Who knew?
Saturday night we’re blessed with the MTV movie All You’ve Got starring Ciara and the NBC movie… wait for it… 10.5: Apocalypse! Terrifying! Later in the evening the season finale of SNL airs, with host Kevin Spacey and musical guest Nelly Furtado. Not bad.
Sunday is insane. We have a 90-minute Family Guy finale, a 2-hour Desperate Housewives finale, and, yes, another night of 10.5: Apocalypse! Throw in The Sopranos and Big Love and that’s far too much television for one person to handle. So what are YOU watching this weekend? Vote now!