Weekend What’s Up?

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The past week saw the return of tons of ideas- gas prices, celebrity babies, etc- and a couple new ones, like…oh, who am I kidding? It’s all the same old ones.

…Of The Day

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Kylie
HEADLINE: University Ninja Ambushed by Feds On Way To Dining Hall (MTV News)

BLOG THAT YOU ABSOLUTELY KNEW WAS COMING: Baby Cruise: The Story of TomKat, as told by their soon-to-be-born alien baby. (Baby Cruise)

BORING TOUR ANNOUNCEMENT: The Boredoms are touring North America, Europe. (Pitchfork)

THE "932 COMMENTS AND COUNTING? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" MOMENT: The Banker from Deal or No Deal has a "blog." The one entry consists of the Banker saying "everybody is stupider than me." Nearly a thousand people respond, essentially with a "No you’re not!" Wow. (Deal or No Deal via Pop Candy)

SPAZ: American Idol’s Taylor Hicks was offended when Simon asked him if he was drunk. Can anybody say anything without it being offensive anymore? Morons. (uh-oh) (TMZ)

MUCH APPRECIATION ON BOTH ENDS: Today some people were writing about Kylie Minogue because she’s an inspiration having beat cancer. Others were writing about her perfect ass. We happen to think that she’s beautiful from top to… bottom. (Egotastic & The NY Post, respectively)

Punk’ds that never were, Punk’ds that will be

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Punkd_001

I love Punk’d and not just because the show’s success allows Viacom to write me a check each week, but also because I get to see how truly despicable my favorite celebrities really are when they think no one’s watching.  Unfortunately, some celebrities like Ryan PhillipeEdward Norton, and A-Rod are so despicable, they won’t let the show air their segments. (Check out this list of punk’ds that will never air here. )

Meanwhile, in a perfect world, where celebrities don’t have to sign release forms, these are the Punk’d scenarios I’d like to see:

  • Sarah Jessica Parker gets her poofy skirt caught in a shredding machine.
  • Tom Cruise is caught looking in the mirror when he thinks he’s alone
  • Katie Couric goes to a party where some one younger and prettier than her is wearing the same outfit
  • Anything that will cause Zach Braff to assault a little kid again

Now it’s your turn. Tell us what punks you’d like to see. Maybe some one with power at MTV is reading this, but we doubt it.

Get Blackballed

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Blackballed
Tonight marks the movie event of the summer. Nay. The movie event of your lifetime. Blackballed: The Bobby Dukes Story starring Rob Corddry, Paul Scheer, Rob Riggle, Rob Huebel and Ed Helms gets its theatrical release in New York tonight. Blackballed has already won a whole bunch of awards like the Audience Award at the SXSW Film Festival and the Grand Jury Prize at the IFF in Boston, so you know it’s going to be awesome.

Head over to BobbyDukes.com to learn more about the Legend, check out the trailer, and find out when and where the film is playing near you. And if you’re in New York, click here to get tickets now! Tonight’s show is already sold out, but luckily it’s playing throughout the month, so get on it ASAP.

Click below to get the full Bobby Dukes story, taken from Paul’s Blog.

Read more…

While You Were Waxing Lohan

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  • MadonnaguyGuy Richie’s love of judo really annoys wife Madonna.  Meanwhile, Madonna’s love of being a painted-up old whore who refuses to let it go "sorta miffs" husband Richie.
  • Take a break from Googling yourself and your exes for a moment, and Google the secrets of The Da Vinci Code.  Or if you’re bored with that, try doing a search for "shameless corporate cross-promotional whoredom".
  • Well I’ll tell you what I don’t want, what I really really don’t want: a Spice Girls reunion.
  • Stephen "Born-Again" Baldwin is reportedly so angry about a porn store opening in his neighborhood that he’s going to teach those godless heathens a little lesson about worldliness by selling his "Christ-like" $3.4 million mansion
  • In this month’s Esquire magazine, Dave Chappelle continues sitting in the corner of his padded room, babbling on and on about why he left his show 12 years ago. 
  • "Magician" David Blaine is planning yet another attention-seeking public "magic" stunt in his unending quest to pull the affection his father clearly never gave him out of a hat.

Malcolm In The Driver’s Seat

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MunizPiper mentioned this Tuesday, but it looks like the official word came down today:

Frankie Muniz has decided to follow in the footsteps of Jason Priestley and… Jason Priestley, by quitting acting to become a full-time race car driver.

The actor signed a two-year deal to race for Jensen Motorsport, meaning that you won’t be getting another Agent Cody Banks movie ’til 2008. At the earliest. Bummer.

Read about it here, via Defamer (who’s "World Cheers As Frankie Muniz Quits Acting For High-Risk Sport" headline made me laugh out loud like an idiot in front of my co-workers.)

Survivor Winner Revealed?

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Survivor

Has the Winner of Survivor Panama been leaked through online betting?

According to Realitytvworld.com, "Bodog.com announced Tuesday that suspicious betting patterns on one of the show’s eight remaining contestants has forced it to halt wagering on Survivor: Panama, the twelfth edition of the long-running CBS reality show." Apparently a friend of the winner has been leaking the information to the public. Find out who probably will win $1 million bucks and get sued for $10 million after the jump.

Read more…

Is South Park Having the Best Week Ever?

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Now in their 10th season, South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone seem to have gotten the creation of controversy down to a science (or a Scientologist, as it were).  Starting with last season’s now-infamous "Trapped In the Closet" episode in which they skewer Tom Cruise, his religion, his sexuality and R. Kelly in one fell swoop, the show has continued pushing highly public buttons, from Isaac Hayes to Islam, culminating in last night’s "Cartoon Wars" Conclusion that managed to make fun of Family Guy joke-writing, religious fundamentalists, knee-jerk reactionaries, free-speech idealists, kowtowing networks (clearly aiming at the hypocrisy of their own), Jesus, President Bush and big wheels – and still make a whole lot of sense.  It’s no wonder they finally won their first Peabody award

These guys are clearly having the Best Week – and the best season – Ever. 

LISTEN UP: Your Daily Dose of the Best Music Ever

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Make

  • Tofuhut has two Biggie Smalls/Frank Sinatra mash-ups. It’s so moving to see performers find musical common ground regardless of race, genre or age, all in the name of earning money for people who are exploiting their deaths.
  • If you love cloaks, smoke machines and all things head-bangy . Or if you just want to piss off your office mate, here’s a live recording of Collosus’s song Kollosus (no relation) brought to you by the Oak Room.
  • Nina Simone’s cover of Beatles Revolution 1 and 2, is so refreshingly original we’re going to go ahead and call it Revolution 3. It’s up there with the Number One Songs in Heaven.
  • Thanks to Diddywah, we can safely say soul singer Bobby Womack had a very different experience from the Mammas and the Pappas when he was California Dreamin’. For starters, Mamma Cass wasn’t there.
  • Lost in the 80′s has the video for The Waitress’s  Make the Weather. I admit I never heard this pop-y early 80′s tune till now, but the video premise of a mad scientist watching the band perform in futuristic white room feels somehow familiar.