This is for all of you who have been dying for some answers about the true story of how Shiloh Nouvel Pitt-Jolie, Brangelina’s only begotten
son daughter, came into the world:
One day about
2000 years ago 9 months ago, an Angel of the Lord Agent of the CAA called Gabriel Ari told Mary Angelina Jolie she would have a very special baby that she should call Jesus Shiloh.
Mary Angelina married boned Joseph Brad Pitt and took him to Bethlehem Namibia so they could pay their taxes a self-affirming visit to poor people. Mary Angelina was expecting to have her baby very soon.
After a few rain in spains and a shower, My Fair K-Fed has cleaned himself up… for an Item Magazine Photoshoot. While this new look is only temporary and presumably ironic, we’re sure he’ll keep it up if enough people like and if he thinks it will earn him more money. (he’ll also tell you anything you want to know about Britney for a couple bucks extra)
So tell us, which Kevin Federline do you prefer? K-fed or Baron Von Kevin Federline III?
See more pictures of the new Kevin at US Weekly’s blog.
Last month, the younger Simpson sister got in an accident with a rhinoplasty surgeon. And now, based on these new pictures taken of Ashlee filming her new music video, it appears she’s been in another mishap, this time getting stung on the lips by a bee holding a syringe full of collagen. We’re can’t confirm that she’s had anything done, but she’s definitely looking more and more like her sister Jessica, which means she’s at the halfway marker between her old, natural self and Loni Anderson.
Here are a couple of moments from Katie’s final farewell on the Today show. Some things to watch for: Matt Lauer pretending he’s sad to see her go; Katie announcing she’s going to kiss everybody all day but then slamming on the breaks when she sees Gene Shalit, and some slow motion Al Roker dancing. Katie– you’re going to be (pretended to be) missed.
Who needs to waste about 4 hours of their life watching both Kill Bill movies when you can just watch these 120 seconds and get everything you need? Forget about the “plot” and the “character development” and “conflict resolution” and the “well written dialogue and stylized imagery.” In this video (ads NSFW), you get the Bride killing one person after another, complete with a rising death ticker on the bottom left hand corner. Like I said, what more do you need?
Link via Gorillamask
Brangelina may be gorgeous, filthy rich and supernaturally generous, and the proud parents of the new messiah, but they’ve got their flaws namely, HERPES. According to ONTD via an unknown tipster:
“Angie and Brad were indeed having sex on that film [Mr. and Mrs. Smith], and she apparently gave him some STD’s, and that’s how Jennifer Aniston first found out . If you are young, like Angelina Jolie, and healthy, the reason for c-section [which is how Shiloh was born] is almost always herpes. “
The tipster goes on to accuse Madonna, Jennifer Garner, and Katie Holmes of having the itchy disease too. Which means that Guy Ritchie and Ben Affleck are also popping valtrex. Tom Cruise, however, got a clean bill of health.
TMZ has video of Paris Hilton singing a cover or Rod Stewart’s hit “Do Ya Think I’m Sexy?” at a recent Madonna after-party. Um no, Paris, I don’t think you’re sexy. I think you look like a drunk sorority girl on spring break, stumbling around a karoake bar singing off-key versions of songs nobody likes anymore while being completely ignored. Good luck with the album.
Memorial Day has passed, summer is here, and as we all know, summer is all about the 4 B’s: Beaches, Babes, Beer and Basic Cable. Tonight you have to turn to Basic Cable (and probably Beer) if you want to be entertained. With shows like Criss Angel: Mindfreak, Inked and Celebrity Poker Showdown you’re sure to have a good time. Me? I’ll be watching The Hills and Cheyenne on MTV, starring the barely legal LC and the downright illegal Cheyenne, respectively. Come on, don’t judge me, it’s summer– I’m only watching for the Beaches and Babes.
So what are YOU watching tonight? Vote now!