While You Were Gearing Up For Tonight’s ’24′

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  • Scarlett_j_1
    Scarlett Johansson
    tops this year’s FHM "100 Sexiest Women In The World" poll. I have no problem with that.
  • Rod Stewart is set to guest star on an upcoming episode of American Idol. While parents are set to have to explain to their children who the creepy old wrinkly man is.
  • Reese Witherspoon is sick and tired of the press’ speculation that her marriage to Ryan Phillippe is on the rocks. Phillippe, meanwhile, is just happy to get a mention.
  • Ocean’s 13 is gearing up to start filming, but Julia Roberts and Catherine Zeta-Jones won’t be involved. And after seeing Ocean’s 12, neither will  I.
  • Bruce Willis thrilled Bruce Willis fans by appearing on stage with the Allman Brothers on Friday night. Allman Brothers fans said to be devastated.
  • Morrissey is boycotting Canada on account of their annual seal hunt. Seal boycotting Canada for the exact same reason.
  • The WWE announced the launch of the WWE Music Group. Upon hearing the news, Hacksaw Jim Duggan and Tatanka bolted right to the studio to start laying down tracks.

UPDATE: Kevin Smith’s UPenn Speech Exceeds Student’s Expectations

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Even before Kevin Smith gave his speech at the University of Pennsylvania, where he called Reese Witherspoon a See You Next Tuesday and told anecdotes of Nicole Richie doing blow and nailing good buddy Jason Mewes in a bathroom, the campus was abuzz with anticipation of his arrival. According to an article in the Daily Pennsylvanian,  written before the event, organizers predicted his "speech would likely have wide appeal" and expected the speech would be rife with "allusions to Star Wars and New Jersey."

The paper explains the the Mallrats director was chosen by a survey of the student body. After last year’s guest speaker Martin Sheen provided a snoozefest with his discussion about "his commitment to community service," undergrads were committed to scoring a lecturer who would hold their attention for five minutes. Smart move.

Kilmer or Wilmer?

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If you’re like me, you are always mixing up Val Kilmer and Wilmer Valderrama. That’s why we’ve created this game to help you tell them apart. So, try to guess: Kilmer or Wilmer?

  • Is part Cherokee Indian.
  • Co-owns an Italian restaurant.
  • Was romantically linked to Sharon Stone.
  • Enjoys scuba diving.
  • Has been romantically linked to Paris Hilton.
  • Was born in Florida.
  • Was 4′ 11" when he entered high school.
  • Considered launching his own line of jewelry.

Answers after the jump.

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GUESS THE CELEBRITY

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Can you guess who this “former child star” (he or she) is ??

Put your guesses and thoughts in the comments section!! Answer will be revealed tomorrow.

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While You Were Nodding Off at Your Desk (That’s right, you!)

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  • Katie Holmes is getting more pregnant by the minute. Meanwhile, Tom Cruise is getting smaller by the second.
  • OK now Nick Lachey is now rumored to be with Broadway star and Old Navy spokesperson Kristin Chenoweth. Nick’s got faster moves than Drew on the dance floor.
  • Radio still uneasy with Dixie Chicks’ political stance, but totally fine with Toby Keiths’ stupid stance.
  • Keira Knightly throws Bacchanalian 21st birthday and dresses in pig mask. Just to prove she can pull it off.
  • John Kerry stands firm on his no-celery policy.
  • Jen Aniston may marry Vince Vaughn at Oprah’s house.  Actually, the house is so impersonal, why not just do it in the studio? With the cameras and the live studio audience?
  • Elizabeth Hurley shares her secrets on skincare. We’d rather hear her secrets on Sizemore

FINALLY: Wilmer Valderrama Tells All!!!!

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The world’s most famous "Wait, how did that guy get that girl?" dude Wilmer Valderrama (slightly ahead of runner-up, Adam Duritz) went on the Howard Stern Show this morning and spilled his guts about EVERYTHING you’ve ever wanted to know about his sexual conquests. Among the highlights:
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–Lindsay Lohan is one of the best girls he’s ever had.
–Ashlee Simpson is incredibly loud.
–The first girl he dated in Hollywood was Ariana Richards… you may remember her as the kid in Jurassic Park.
–On a scale from 1-10, he gives Jennifer Love Hewitt an 8.
–Speaking of the number 8, Fez claims to be "slightly bigger" than 8 inches.
–He got with Mandy Moore when she guested on That 70s Show.
–He’s videotaped himself in bed on more than one occasion, but he’s erased the tapes so they wouldn’t leak onto the internet.
– He’s had two women at once.
–And completely unrelated to all of this, he recently purchased Chuck Norris’ old house.

You know, back when I was a teenager I would say that I’d trade the rest of my life for the rest of Hugh Hefner’s life. I’d like to update my wish. Instead, I’d like to trade the rest of my life for a week of Wilmer Valderrama’s life. It actually doesn’t sound like that bad of a deal.

You can read the entire recap of the Howard Stern Show here. Thanks to The Corsair for the heads up.

Celebrity Blog Watch: Guess Who!

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One of my favorite things in the world (besides fantasy baseball) is scouring the internet and reading the musings of celebrities. Blogs, editorials, commentaries– if a famous person’s writing it, I’m reading it. What can I say, I’m shallow like that. Well, today we’re going to play a game. I’m going to include a quote from a celebrity’s writings, and you’re going to have to try to guess who said it. Here we go:

"Tagalongs" are peanut butter cookies. I like peanut butter and I like cookies but I’ve never liked peanut butter cookies.

Okay, so who’s rambling about girl scout cookies today? Is it:

a) 60 Minutes curmudgeon Andy Rooney
b) Deal or No Deal host/ neatfreak Howie Mandel
c) Fan of both cookies and girl scouts, Rosie O’Donnell
d) The adorable Mandy Moore

Who do you think said it? Find out the answer by clicking below.

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LISTEN UP: Your Daily Dose of the Best Music Ever

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  • YANP becomes my new best friend by posting the first song from the forthcoming album from The Walkmen
  • MOKB has tracks from the must-listen Band of Horses.  They sound sorta like The Shins, though it’s yet to be determined whether Natalie Portman finds them as life-changing. 
  • Check out a creepy-cool little ditty from the unfortunately-named band Sunset Rubdown over at GvB.
  • Get under the covers with EC,EU’s nice little collection of cover tracks, including Paul Anka doing "Smells Like Teen Spirit"???
  • Scenestars have tracks from singer/songwriter Cory Branan’s new Waffle House-themed album, "Prettiest Waitress In Memphis".
  • Aquarium Drunkard’s got an uncharacteristically perky new song from singer/songwriter Josh Rouse
  • BWE Online’s own Jason Hartley has recorded a riveting, soul-crushing tribute (right click, save as) to the magic that is only known as Danza.

IN CASE YOU MISSED IT/SIZZLER COMBO: Samberg, Parnell and Dunst Love Triangle

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The Daily News reports today that Kirsten Dunst and SNL’s Andy Samberg may be making sweet, mock-rap music together. According to gossip-monger Ben Widdicombe,"Celeb spotters saw the two Monday at Los Angeles’ Hotel Cafe… "They were hugging and cuddling during the show," says a witness."

It’s hard to gage how accurate this info is, based on the fact that Widdicombe refers to Samberg as Adam not Andy.  But if it is true, Samberg will have large cuts of beef to squash with Lazy Sunday co-conspirator Chris Parnell–who, according this old-school SNL video, both rapped humorously and professed undying love for Kirsten Dunst, years before Samberg ever bit on the teat of Lorne Michaels.