Mi Cokefest Es Su Cokefest

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Check out the flyer for an upcoming Final Four event in Indianapolis, sponsored by the beverage giant.   

My Cokefest would probably involve more cigarettes and less singer-songwriters. But provided enough refreshing coke, Carrie Underwood could sound like Joe Strummer by the end of the night. (thanks adfreak)

POLL: Better Wonder Woman? Lindsay or Charisma

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Lindsay Lohan has made no secret that she’d like the role of Wonder Woman in the upcoming Joss Whedon film. Well, another actress has thrown her name into the mix: Veronica MarsCharisma Carpenter. This is from Superhero Hype:Lindsay_l


TVGuide.com: Hey, are you going to star in Wonder Woman?  What a great fit that
would be.

Carpenter: I know! From your lips to God’s ears… or Joss’… or Joel’s….
TVGuide.com: Another baby?
Carpenter: I’d like to eventually, but I want Wonder Woman right now.
I’m not holding my breath but I’m crossing my fingers and toes and
praying.

So I’m asking you, BWE fans: who would you rather see play Wonder Woman: Lohan or Carpenter. I don’t want to sway anybody, but I’m pulling for Charisma.  You? (thanks to Egotastic for the scoop)

POLL: Which Movie Are You More Excited About?

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I never thought I could be more completely excited by a movie than I was for Snakes on a Plane.  But then I read this.  So now, I must conduct a comparative analysis:

What it’s called: SNAKES ON A PLANE
What it’s about: Duh
Who’s in it:  Samuel L "motherf**king" Jackson

What it’s called: BALLS OF FURY
What it’s about: An evil crime lord who is also a ping-pong enthusiast.
Who’s in it: Christopher Walken (as said ping-pong-loving crime lord)

This is like Sophie’s Choice or something.  Tell me, which movie are you more excited about? 

Sharon Stone Wants to Teach Your Daughter About Oral Sex

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Sharon Stone thinks that teenagers should practice oral sex as an alternative to intercourse. That’s fine advice, but it’s a little strange when she gives it to a girl in a store:

[Stone] explains, "I was in the store the other day and I watched a young girl trying on clothes, showing her abdomen. "Her mother was trying to talk to her about not being inappropriately luring. I said, ‘Gee that would look much nicer with a camisole under.’ "Her mother walked away, and I said to the girl, ‘I’d like to give you a two-minute conversation about sex.’"

Yeah, that’s not a very presumptuous and weird thing to do. But you have to give it to Stone: When it comes to the value of oral sex, she puts her money where her mouth is….

Celebrity Headliner Equations

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Thebenchwarmersposter_1 When Hollywood executives cast the leads in a movie, a lot of thought goes into who’s name will appear above the movie title. In order to make bank at the box office, movies must have anywhere from one major  star to multiple minor stars as headliners for the film. 

With the upcoming movie The Benchwarmers, it takes Jon Heder, David Spade and Rob Schneider’s name before the title to equal the box office weight of one Jim Carrey in Fun with Dick and Jane. With that in mind, we’ve put together a series of equations that show how star power matches up when it comes to headlining a movie. After the jump, find out who can carry a movie on their own and who needs the cushion of other stars to share a headline with…

Read more…

SXSW: Paul Scheer Rocks Out With Morningwood

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Paul Scheer had the best SXSW experience ever. How many other guys can say they had the opportunity to rock out on stage with the supercool Morningwood while wearing a cape and unitard? Probably not too many. Watch Paul (and his package)  with Morningwood right now! They truly take it to the Nth Degree.

While You Were Buying Sushi at Walmart

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Kiera

  • By American Idol standards 29 is old. By Real World standards it’s geriatric.
  • Tom Hanks will star in How Starbucks Saved My Life. After You’ve got Mail or how AOL Saved my Life, and Castaway or How Fed Ex Saved My Life, the actor is prime for the part.
  • Find out how Arnold Schwarzenegger could change your life if he gets reelected. Here’s a hint, it’ll be just like it was when Reagan was president.
  • Christina Aguilera has sublimated her desire to wear raunchy outfits into a new desire to buy raunchy paintings.
  • Keira Knightly now comes dressed as a high fashion flapper, but she used to come equipped with a prep school uniform. Collect them all.
  • Oceans 13 producer explains that Catherine Zeta Jones and Julia Roberts won’t reprise their roles in the trilogy is because their parts were too small for such big stars. Meanwhile Scott Caan and Casey Affleck cool with playing extras.

IN CASE YOU MISSED IT: Tucker Carlson Likes Tequila

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Remember that time when Jon Stewart went on Crossfire and laid the smack down on Tucker Carlson?  Well, it seems that Tucker is now taking things a little easier by hosting guests like "MySpace Celebrity and Fashion Model" Tila Tequila.  Something tells me she might not quite have a wit as formidable as Stewart’s. Can I get a WTF?

(thanks to Gorillamask for the tip)

A Horrible Development

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Arrested Development creator Mitch Hurwitz says he will not be continuing with the series, meaning in all likelihood, the show is dead. The twenty-five people who watched it, myself included, are devastated by the news.

Let’s take a moment to say goodbye to the funniest sitcom in television history. And try not to forget that Reba recently aired its 200th episode. It’s a cruel, cruel world we live in.