Shea Hess is here to walk you through the best of Wednesday night tv, including American Idol, Celeb Cooking Showdown, Standard of Perfection, and Invasion!
PROOF THAT TV VIEWERS ARE SHREWD NEGOTIATORS: Due to sliding ratings, NBC is now offering $10,000 to people who watch The Apprentice. I think we should hold out for $12,000. (Reality Blurred)
OUT OF TOUCH MOM TERMINOLOGY: British Tabloid calls former pop star George Michael a "stoned waster" (The Mirror)
PROOF WE’RE ONE SIMPSON TOO MANY: Ashlee Simpson’s new song L.O.V.E was just released on her website. (AshleeSimpsonMusic)
VOICE-MAIL: Faye Dunaway’s angry voice messages left throughout the day on the phone of a producer making a TV movie of her life. While she wants to forget Mommy Dearest, it’s clear why she’ll never outlive the role. (Wow Report)
- Nick Lachey banned camera phones from his new sitcom, He Said, She Said for fear of being tabloid fodder. Cameras are fine though.
- American Idol makes people famous. And then makes them drunkards, just ask Paula.
- Pink has a tattoo designed to look like a help button. Clearly, it’s broken.
- Paris Hilton is releasing her own line of mobile games. Or so she’s been told by her handlers.
- Tabloid apologizes for saying Terri Hatcher has sex in a van, an accusation that angered the cautious single mom. In fact it was a mini-van.
- Jamie Lynn Sigler is hooking up with Ashley Olsen ex Scott Sartaino. But her next big challenge is Stavros.
Springtime means a lot of things: nicer weather, less clothing, longer afternoons – and bro’in out to a jammin’ live show from The Dave Matthews Band with your bro’s, bro. So get yourself in the "jammy" mood with this sweet footage of DMB Live! (Yes, it’s a slow day.)
R. Kelly returned to New York this week for the first time since 2004. Well, on behalf of all New York, allow me to say that he was missed. During last night’s sold out Radio City Music Hall show, R previewed an unreleased song titled "The Zoo" that contained the following lyrics:
"It’s like Jurassic Park, but I’m your Sexasaurus" and "You and me hopping like two kangaroos… you got me locked in your cage of ecstasy and I don’t want to be free… I’m your Tarzan and you’re my Jane." Wow. Just. Wow.
I for one think it’s about time Sexasauruses got their due. I’ve seen all three Jurassic Park movies, and not once did they talk about the Sexasaurus. Kudos to R. Kelly for stepping up and bringing this extinct-but-not-forgotten dinosaur to the attention of the American Public for the first time… ever. Oh, and for the record, accused pedophile R. Kelly has titled his next album Making Babies. Thankfully he does not go into specifics as to what he’s making them do, exactly. But you can imagine. [Read the MTV News article here ]
Q Magazine published it’s list of the 50 worst albums ever made. I can’t believe Naomi Campbell’s techno-diva album Babywoman and Bruce Willis’s bluesy The Return of Bruno made the list. Those are classics of the humiliating celebrity side project genre.
But the number #1 worst album ever made according to the magazine? Duran Duran’s Thank You, an album in which the 80′s rockers cover songs by legends like Bob Dylan, Lou Reed and Grandmaster Flash. I guess it was just their little way of saying thank you for not having to write new music.
View the entire list of the 50 worst albums ever after the jump. Then tell us which albums you think should have made the list…
I don’t know how I missed it, but The Scorned,the first horror film starring only reality stars debuted on DVD last week. The directors cut/unrated version explains all the mysteries and artistic intentions of the film a.k.a gratuitous reality boobies. Enjoy the varied acting styles of Bob "The goofy Bachelor" Guiney, Jenna Lewis, Ethan Zohn, Johnny Fairplay, Trishelle Cantella Durtiz and other reality stars who made the poor career choice to star in this movie. Watch the trailer for The Scorned. I guarantee you it’s not half as scary as E’s Kill Reality, the reality show based on the making of this movie.
Catch Tom’s Crazy pills to keep Katie Quiet during Pregnancy or Xenu
will come and take her away! Will Katie be completely Silent during
birth in accordance with Scientology”s completely rational beliefs?
Its up to you to protect her from the evil alien overlord Xenu.
Did somebody lay an egg? TONY!