A New Sopranos Mystery

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This season of The Sopranos seems to be about leaving viewers in the dark. Episode one gave us the Malanga Mystery: What did Uncle Junior say when he shot Tony? And this Sunday’s episode was bewildering on a number of levels. By now, you’ve probably figured out all the symbolism in Tony’s coma dream, but there is one nagging question left: Who provided the voice of Tony’s wife when he called home? There have been lots of guesses, Charmaine Bucco (Kathrine Narducci), Adrianna (Drea de Matteo), Gloria Trillo (Annabella Sciorra), or maybe Carmela with a different voice. But HBO won’t tell other than saying that they cast a woman specifically for the role and that she wasn’t famous enough to be familiar with viewers. But if that’s so, why won’t they tell us who she is? Will we see her in the next episode? I noticed that Dr. Melfi isn’t on this list, so could it have been her and the producers are just lying? I don’t mean to break anyone’s balls, but this question is giving me serious agita.

IN CASE YOU MISSED IT: Heat Vision and Jack

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It seems like at least once a day I see something that makes me grateful for YouTube.  This is one of those things.  Back before the turn of the century, Ben Stiller directed a pilot about a guy and his talking motorcycle, starring Jack Black and voice of Owen Wilson.  If not for the Internet, we might never have seen the result of this marriage of hilarity.  But now we can:

(via Lindsay Robertson’s Jane Blog)

Yahoo! Wants Your Grandparents

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CBS and Yahoo! have announced that they will partner together to bring 60 Minutes video content and "robust news packages" to Yahoo!’s media properties. Each week after the show airs, the microsite will get two news packages, one an expanded version of a segment from the show, the second will be based on a "topical news theme." There will also be never-before-seen 60 Minutes video footage, as well as interactive elements including maps, a reporter’s notebook, blogs and photo galleries. In other words, you’ve got a lot of things to explain to your grandmother.

SIZZLER: Snoochie Richie?

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Is Clerks director Kevin Smith considering a second career in gossip? During a speech at a school, he reportedly spilled the beans on his sidekick Jason Mewes (Jay of Jay and Silent Bob) and Mewes’ one minute stand with Nicole Richie. According to Smith, Richie followed Mewes into a bathroom at a club one night and made a man of him in 30 seconds. Why would Nicole Richie indulge in a quickie with the minor celebrity?  Here’s a hint: it’s called Bottoms Up and it’s a romantic comedy starring Paris Hilton and Jason Mewes set for release later this year. Maybe jealous Richie wanted to introduce Mewes to her bottom first. Too bad Hilton’s version won’t be as quick.

For the unrated, overly descriptive version of this story go to ONTD.

The Daily Danza

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Tony really, really loves Dr. G. Watch as the two shoot hoops, dance, kiss, bounce on beds, and so much more!

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    Coldplay
    , Danger Doom, Death From Above 1979, and Blur? Yes please. Nellie’s Life is on point.
  • N.1 in Belgium is hosting 3 tracks by The Replacements today. Don’t fault them for inspiring bands like the Goo Goo Dolls– just go listen.
  • This site (I’m not even going to try to write the title) has three Johnny Cash songs, including his amazing cover of "I Won’t Back Down." I don’t think any of these songs are in Walk The Line, though, so I apologize to casual fans.
  • Clever Titles Are So Last Summer has two guilty pleasures for your enjoyment: Kelly Clarkson’s "Since U Been Gone" and Britney Spears’ "Toxic." Which one is more guilty? That’s your call.
  • An Aquarium Drunkard got their hands on an entire lost album by The Black Crowes. Go give it a listen, and try not to think about Kate Hudson every time Chris Robinson whines about how he still hasn’t found true love.
  • Have you ever heard "I’m Glad I Hitched My Apple Wagon To Your Star" by The Boy Least Likely To? Me neither, but I’m willing to give this track on Village Indian a try based on the title.

IN CASE YOU MISSED IT: His Balls Will Be Chocolate And Salty No More

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Last night, we had to say goodbye to one of our favorite characters on television. The beloved Chef. I’ll give you a moment to collect yourselves.

In case you missed it, The Rooftop Report has most of the show up right now. Go watch it, before Tom Cruise demands they take it down.

What’d you guys think of the episode? Was it an appropriate send off for the man, the myth, the legend… the Chef? I sure hope so.

How to Get Cast on Survivor

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If your trying out to be a contestant on Survivor, be prepared to answer questions about your physical agility, your problem solving aptitude and your background in world travel. But according to Survivor: Guatemala winner Danni Boatwright, to get cast on the show, it all comes down to three tough questions:

  • Would you take your top off for peanut butter?
  • Who is the most famous person you’ve slept with?
  • If you’re conservative and Republican, do you hate Jews?

We’re not sure how Boatwright answered the first two questions, but we do know the Kansas native defended her conservative principles by saying some of her best friends are Jews. I have a hunch some of her best friends are also peanut butter.

While You Were Hating On The Haters

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  • Grandmaster Federline hates the haters over at Us Weekly so much that he even spit some of his flow right into their faces.  Don’t f*ck with Fresno.
  • Jessica Alba says she’s "sick of being a sex kitten."  Funny, cause I’m sick of her being such a pussy.
  • Porn star Savanna Samson has the wine community standing at attention after creating a top-rated new wine.  To fully enjoy the full-bodied flavors: first sniff, then spit, then swallow.
  • According to Page Six (3rd item), Elton John changed the lyrics from "Daniel" to "Donald" during a recent concert, in a tribute to Donald Trump’s newborn son.  Funny, I would think he’d have chosen "Levon", seeing as how much Trump "likes his money".
  • America voted Kevin "Chicken Little" Couvais off American Idol last night.  When the sky falls, you people are really going to be sorry.   
  • I think Chuck Sheen might need a tinfoil hat.

The Story Behind “Snakes on a Plane”

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Now that everyone is love with Snakes on a Plane (even though it doesn’t come out until August), the movie seems like a no-brainer. But when it was first conceived, there were concerns about, wait for it, the title. According to Reuters, people at New Line thought the movie was "nothing but a simple programmer with a ‘stupid title.’" But once Samuel L. Jackson got attached, they got more enthusiastic about the movie and changed the name to Pacific Air Flight 121 for "casting purposes." One agent said at the time, "Who wants to be in a movie called Snakes on a Plane?" Jackson, apparently, who now says, "That’s the only reason I took the job: I read the title…You either want to see that, or you don’t." Well, I do, and I wouldn’t have if it weren’t for the title. Also, if it weren’t for the title, there wouldn’t have been this kick-ass logo!