How to Get Cast on Survivor

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If your trying out to be a contestant on Survivor, be prepared to answer questions about your physical agility, your problem solving aptitude and your background in world travel. But according to Survivor: Guatemala winner Danni Boatwright, to get cast on the show, it all comes down to three tough questions:

  • Would you take your top off for peanut butter?
  • Who is the most famous person you’ve slept with?
  • If you’re conservative and Republican, do you hate Jews?

We’re not sure how Boatwright answered the first two questions, but we do know the Kansas native defended her conservative principles by saying some of her best friends are Jews. I have a hunch some of her best friends are also peanut butter.

While You Were Hating On The Haters

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  • Grandmaster Federline hates the haters over at Us Weekly so much that he even spit some of his flow right into their faces.  Don’t f*ck with Fresno.
  • Jessica Alba says she’s "sick of being a sex kitten."  Funny, cause I’m sick of her being such a pussy.
  • Porn star Savanna Samson has the wine community standing at attention after creating a top-rated new wine.  To fully enjoy the full-bodied flavors: first sniff, then spit, then swallow.
  • According to Page Six (3rd item), Elton John changed the lyrics from "Daniel" to "Donald" during a recent concert, in a tribute to Donald Trump’s newborn son.  Funny, I would think he’d have chosen "Levon", seeing as how much Trump "likes his money".
  • America voted Kevin "Chicken Little" Couvais off American Idol last night.  When the sky falls, you people are really going to be sorry.   
  • I think Chuck Sheen might need a tinfoil hat.

The Story Behind “Snakes on a Plane”

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Now that everyone is love with Snakes on a Plane (even though it doesn’t come out until August), the movie seems like a no-brainer. But when it was first conceived, there were concerns about, wait for it, the title. According to Reuters, people at New Line thought the movie was "nothing but a simple programmer with a ‘stupid title.’" But once Samuel L. Jackson got attached, they got more enthusiastic about the movie and changed the name to Pacific Air Flight 121 for "casting purposes." One agent said at the time, "Who wants to be in a movie called Snakes on a Plane?" Jackson, apparently, who now says, "That’s the only reason I took the job: I read the title…You either want to see that, or you don’t." Well, I do, and I wouldn’t have if it weren’t for the title. Also, if it weren’t for the title, there wouldn’t have been this kick-ass logo!

IN CASE YOU MISSED IT: Best Car Chase Ever

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Forget Grand Theft Auto, forget O.J. (if you haven’t already)–CNN.com has the hands down best car chase ever. Go to their site and click on "car chase threads the needle" to watch what happens when you combine a four wheel drive with some one who really, really doesn’t want to be caught. If anyone knows what this guy did that’s so bad it’s worth hoofing it, drop us a line in the comments section. And if anyone knows what kind of bionic super-truck he was driving, alert the car company. That footage alone is worth a CLIO or two.

SIZZLER: Longoria is Both Sex Teacher and Sex Student

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Eva_longoria26 Last week Eva Longoria claimed she gives her boyfriend NBA star Tony Parker lessons on how to have sex. "I’m the experienced one. I’m the teacher, especially about love." But now the Desperate Housewives actress claims "when the lights go out, he’s the sex teacher."  So let me get this straight Eva, you’re saying when the lights are on you’re the sex teacher and with the lights off he’s the sex teacher? So you have different sex teacher shifts? So who subs for you on sick days, the gym teacher?

Why We Are The Greatest Network In the World

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This is the kind of thing that makes me proud to be a member of the Vh1 family.  This Sunday, March 26th, Vh1 Classics is going to be playing the AMAZING video for 80′s classic "99 Luftballoons" over and over again for an hour.  And guess what?  It’s for charity, benefitting Hurricane Katrina Survivors! 

That’s right – "99 Luftballoons".  For an hour.  For a good cause.  It’s like all the all the holidays rolled in to one big ball of wonderful.  If you want a little preview, crank up those speakers, sit back and enjoy:

(YouTube link via Stereogum)

Lindsay Lohan to Play Wonder Woman?

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According to Female First, Lindsay Lohan is "desperate" to play Wonder Woman in an upcoming movie based on the comic book/TV show. She says, "I’m trying to find roles right now that are different to anything I’ve done to show my abilities, to show that I have some sort of stretch in me. Because most of the things that I’ve done so far are aimed at younger girls and are light-hearted." (And of course, Wonder Woman would be a gritty crime drama.) I think Lohan would do a fine job, but Lynda Carter will always be Wonder Woman to me.

…OF THE DAY

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    HEADLINE: "Wily coyote caught in New York’s Central Park." (Yahoo!)
  • SAD NEWS FOR PREPPIES: The creator of LaCoste clothing has passed away.  (People)
  • HIPPIE IDEA THAT ISN’T COMPLETELY TERRIBLE: Hot girls getting high.  (Girls Gone Weed)
  • CRUNK E-CARD: Lil’ Jon’s announcement for his latest track, "Snap Yo Fingers".  (Lil Jon)
  • FUTURE DIVORCEE: Man whose toddler wandered into strip club after leaving him in the car.  (AP)
  • THING THAT MAKES YOU GO "HMM": According to a study, "whiny, insecure" kids tend to grow up conservative while the "confident, self-reliant" ones turn out liberal. (Toronto Star)

While You Were Planning Your South Park Viewing Party

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  • Britney Spears was spotted drinking red wine so it’s safe to assume she’s not pregnant. Or is it?
  • Kelly Osbourne thinks Kate Moss is a great mom. Well, better than Sharon Osbourne.
  • Disney’s High School Musical soundtrack is #1 on the charts.When I was a teenager we listened to pleasant music like punk rock and grunge, not these noisy, sex-crazed, devil-inspired show tunes.
  • Flavor of Love’s Pumpkin gets fired from her job as a substitute teacher. Wait she was allowed around kids?
  • Demi Moore might be a mom again. Meanwhile Bruce Willis is looking a little grandpa-ish(see pic)
  • Record company says Aaron Carter had no right to end contract.Maybe not, but he did it for our sake.
  • Hank Williams Jr. is accused of harassment after putting a waitress into a choke-hold. Pish posh, he’s just a big flirt.