LISTEN UP: Your Daily Dose of the Best Music Ever

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  • There’s an old saying that goes "nobody should be allowed to cover Hall & Oates unless their name is P.J. Pooterhoots." Check out their chemically-altered version of "I Can’t Go For That," courtesy of Scissorkick.
  • Nothing good came out of suicidal cult Heaven’s Gate, except Porcupine Tree’s lovely song "Last Chance to Evacuate the Planet Before it Is Recycled," hosted by Aurgasm. The song features eerie audio of the Cult leader’s explanation of his alien status and his plan to hitch a ride on Halle Bop.
  • Said the Gramophone has The Pendulum’s brand new song called Brand New Song. I only wish their band was called The Band.
  • If you liked Bob’s baseball game, you’ll love Buddy Johnson’s song Did you see Jackie Robinson Hit that Ball. Why? They’re both about baseball.  Jeez, what a stoopid question. Thanks to Tuwa’s Shanty.
  • If you couldn’t get tickets to Martha Wainwright and Neko Case’s recent concert, NPR is coming to your rescue with a few tracks recorded from the performance. If you did get to see them and you still want to hear them, then you’re just being greedy. (Via My Old Kentucky Blog)

Mini Kiss vs. Tiny Kiss: The Biggest Little Battle Ever

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Mini_kiss_2When two rival bands of dwarves fight, nobody wins. Well, I guess unless you happen to witness it in person. In that case I bet it’d be hilarious.

Anyway. The 4’4" lead singer of the KISS tribute band Mini Kiss, Joey Fatale, is denying reports that he tried to sneak past security at the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino in Las Vegas to confront 4′ "Little" Tim Loomis of Tiny Kiss for ripping off his idea for a group. It’s not revealed how Fatale attempted to get past security, but it’s assumed he either crawled under a snack cart, hid beneath a blanket in a baby carriage, or stuffed himself in somebody’s guitar case like they do in the movies.

While Little Loomis claims he had Fatale thrown out of the hotel, Fatale insists that he left on his own. The two men used to be friends (Little was the original drummer for Mini before starting Tiny), so it’s a shame like a little tiny thing like this would come between them. I’m a teensy bit upset. Granted it’s a small world, but a little competition never hurt anyone.  Hopefully they grow from this. Because life is short.

[read the full story here]

Vanity Fair Is Turning Into Hustler

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To continue with today’s unofficial porn-y theme, it has recently come to my attention that Vanity Fair, a one-time respected outpost of grocery line journalism, is devolving into a total smut mag.  Last month’s "Hollywood" issue had nudie pics of Sienna Miller’s boobs, Angelina Jolie’s bottom, and of course the infamous Scarlett Johanssen/Kiera Knightley/Random Dude nekkid cover. 

Now this month VF is back to their pornographic ways with inexplicable naked pictures of Felicity’s Keri Russell.  Stay on the lookout next month for their 8-page pictorial of Sharon Stone’s vagina!

While You Were Wishing You Didn’t Miss Last Night’s CMT Awards

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Paris Hilton Attempts To Kill Hugh Hefner

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Paris_hefAt Hugh Hefner’s 80th birthday party, Paris HIlton was able to do the unthinkable: Out-Whore all the Bunnies, Pornstars and everybody else at the Playboy Mansion. What a woman!

If you head over to Playboy.com’s Happy Birthday Hef page and watch the Celebrity Shout-Outs and Serenades you’ll see what I mean. Towards the end of the video a nearly-naked Paris belts out a version of "Happy Birthday" that’s going to make Hef think about Marilyn Monroe… and how lucky she is to be dead.

"I love you Hef. You’re amazing. You’re 80 but you act like you’re 20, you look like you’re 40. You’re hot. Love you. Happy birthday."

Happy birthday indeed, Hef. Happy birthday indeed.

[Other celebs wishing Hef a happy birthday in the video: Donald Trump, The Three-6 Mafia, Jenna Jameson, Travis Barker & Shanna Moakler, Bill Maher, and Oliver Stone]

Celebrity Pilots: Stop the Insanity!

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When Tom Cruise flew his vintage World War II plane this weekend as Katie Holmes prepared to give birth, it got me thinking: What is the deal with crazy celebrities and their planes?

If Tom’s trying to change public opinion about his creepiness, it doesn’t help when he throws on his bomber jacket ala Maverick and takes his fighter pilot for a spin.

And why the hell does John Travolta always wear a pilot’s suit? I mean I know he can fly a plane but does that mean I should salute him like an American hero? If I had a lot of money and lived in Jumbolair, a village that doubles as a landing strip, then I would probably learn to fly too.

Read more…

… Priceless

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Who isn’t sick of those obnoxious "blah blah blah, blah blah blah, blah blah blah… Priceless" Mastercard commercials? I feel like I can’t even remember a world pre-Priceless commercials, as much as I’d like to. Well, even though I’m aggrevated, that’s not going to stop me from entering the Mastercard Priceless Contest. "You fill in the blanks, we’ll air the best one." Right.

Something tells me they’re not going to go with the "best one." If you’ve seen any of these parodies, you know what I’m talking about. I have a feeling the winning entry we see on television won’t contain a passed-out pantless woman, a visible public erection, or a dorky guy with a Mangina. Call it a hunch. [You can see all of these, and oh-so-much more, over at HumpingFrog] Priceless indeed.

While You Were Literally Having a Watercooler Conversation About 24

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    Britney Spears
    plans on taking a break from music to focus on her acting career. First on her to do list: Start an acting career.
  • Katie Holmes is banned from speaking to her baby for a week after it’s born. But unfortunately, Tom Cruise is not banned from speaking to the baby at all.
  • Fred Durst is using his MySpace page to attack former Limp Bizkit guitarist Wes Borland. And to message teenage girls "Yo, you fine. Ever hear of Limp Bizkit? Send pics."
  • Eva Longoria says she added an inch of muscle to her butt. Funny… I offered to do the same thing for her in a piece of fan mail I sent.
  • Lisa Kudrow has vowed to stay away from TV to give Friends fans more time to get over the show. Unless of course you’re willing to hire her. In that case, she’s available. And she’ll be there. On time. Ready to go.
  • Nicolette Sheridan and Michael Bolton have recorded a duet of "The Second Time Around" for Bolton’s new CD, Bolton Swings Sinatra. Read that sentence again. Okay, one more time. Great. Now let me know when this all sinks in, I’ll bring the Kool Aid.

SIZZLER: Frankie Hits the Road

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Sorry Hollywood execs, but  Frankie Muniz won’t be starring in your next big blockbuster romantic action thriller. We’re saddened to announce that the 20 year-old Malcom in the Middle star, who happens to be suspended in mid-puberty, is giving up acting for the next couple of years to persue race-car driving.

We know, he would have been perfect as the next James Bond or as a surly but dashing British baron in the next Jane Austen adaptation. Sorry ladies, this bad-boy has only one true love: fast cars (and his retainer –it’s zebra-patterned!)

(via ontd)