Okay, you watched Best Week Ever tonight. You laughed at the Celebrity Babies, you screamed when you saw Kenny Rogers‘ head, and you got a little bit excited when you saw Paul Scheer in a hot tub. Naturally– that’s to be expected. However, I’m willing to bet that one thing you weren’t ready for was this: The Legend of Simon Conjurer.
What the F is with that movie??? I mean, have you seen the trailer? I’m so confused! The movie looks laughably bad, it’s written and directed by "?", it doesn’t have a release date, and it stars Academy Award Winner Jon Voight… in a fat suit! Am I missing something here? I think I am. So I need you to do me a favor. Watch the trailer, check out the website, and then let me know: The Legend of Simon Conjurer– is it real, or is it all some elaborate hoax? Please help me.
According to Kevin Federline, he has "no choice" (3rd item) but to pollute the world with his godawful hip-hoPoZaoing "rap music", saying it’s not like he can "do construction, just start building houses in Malibu". Yes, the cruel hand of fate (and his wife’s celebrity) has FORCED a microphone towards his face and all poor Kev can do is speak the truth about what it was like for him growing up on the mean streets of suburban Fresno.
But that doesn’t mean we have to take it silently. In fact, a duo of – get this – white investment bankers/"haters" have already recorded a diss track called "Wake Up, K-Fed" (right click, save as) that’s making its way around the Internet. While it ain’t Wu Tang, this joke track sounds like the second coming of Tupac compared to Federline’s own "America’s Most Hated". Pretty bad when you can’t even win a rap battle with a couple of bankers.
Kevs, you might want to think about picking up a hammer and nails after all – you’re gonna need to stay somewhere when wifey’s gravy train comes screeching to a halt.
Mark Dochtermann, the director of technology for Electronic Arts, has the best job in America according to Money Magazine. Sure, Dochtermann designs video games, but even he admits that mostly entails staring at a computer screen, writing code for 80 hours a week.
Check out some other jobs the magazine thinks are dreamy based on their list of the 50 best jobs in America . If Real Estate Appraiser, Human Resources Manager or Sales Engineer are fantasy jobs, it makes you wonder how boring working at Money Magazine really is.
A cursory glance at Google News reveals some shocking discoveries – MySpace is having a crimewave! Teachers are harrassing teens. Teens are harrassing teachers. College students are becoming pedophiles. The violence and chaos is getting so out of hand that the popular networking site is scrambling to contain the problem. The MySpace Madness is causing panic in the streets (or at least the Information Superhighway)! The government appears to be a few public service announcements short of declaring a state of MySpace Martial Law!
What has become of this "place for friends"? I still remember the good old days when the worst thing you had to worry about on MySpace was that one friend who leaves all those annoying videos and songs in your comments section. Now I know what you’re thinking – this all sounds horrible, so how can MySpace be having the Best Week Ever? Well in case you didn’t notice, people getting in trouble and getting on the news is getting MySpace tons of free publicity, causing the site to get even bigger (and the crime problem to get even worse). So yeah, I think MySpace is having the Best Week Ever, even if many of their
users potential victims are not.
Now hurry up and add us before it’s too late! We promise we won’t harrass you (too much).
It’s a holiday weekend and what better way to kick it off then with a new collection of comedy shorts. That’s right it’s the weekly Best Week Ever Short Film Fest. Today we have three great clips starring your favorites from Best Week Ever and more! First up, is a sneak peek at a potential new HBO series. Next we have an exclusive trailer of the new Rob Corddry film Blackballed: The Bobby Dukes Story. The film stars BWE’s own Paul Scheer, Rob Huebel and other great comedians. The final film for today is a poignant tribute to Man and Beast, so enjoy!
And remember, if you want to submit a short to us, send it to films (at) bwe (dot) tv
Kevin Smith babbles to the YouTube audience about putting clips on YouTube, lip synchs in front of a camera, dances in front of a camera, wonders what happens to his dignity, shows a clip from Clerks 2. In that order. Unfortunately absent from the video: Doesn’t call Reese Witherspoon a c**t again; doesn’t apologize for Jersey Girl. [watch the
Jersey Girl 2 Clerks 2trailer here]