Straight Outta Waldorf!


hilaryjoel.jpgStars say so much dumb sh*t that I usually don’t even bother posting about it, but this Hilary Duff gem was just too priceless to pass up. Taken from the Washington Post (via Dlisted), here is the teen starlet’s description of the boyfriend she bought at Hot Topic, Good Charlotte singer Joel Madden:

“He doesn’t socialize. He’s very real, like, he’s from a pretty ghetto place in Maryland. . . . I like that.”

Awesome. And where, precisely, are these Maryland mean streets of which she is so enamored? In what sort of crime-riddled neighborhood did young Joel have to survive the hopelessness of total poverty while dodging the bullets that were constantly whizzing by? Exactly what kind of place could produce a hardened badass so ice cold that he can wear eyeliner and act “tough” at the same time? The answer is found in two words that will send chills down your spine: Waldorf, Maryland. It’s the “shopping capital of southern Maryland”, and it’s where Joel Madden grew up.

It’s June 23rd; What’s up?


tarynmanning_banshee_240.jpgThere are some things in life you just can’t miss. Oxygen’s “first ever made for TV thriller, Banshee” sounds like one of them. Canadian car thieves, serial killers, the girl from Hustle & Flow-- I know what I’ll be watching Saturday night.

I also know what I’ll be watching Sunday night: Entourage, Deadwood, and maybe even Lucky Louis on HBO. I’ll be skipping Tourgasm because, well, I enjoy being entertained. Sorry Dane.

Tonight there’s not a ton on, besides this show on VH1 called Best Week Ever (maybe you’ve heard of it) and two more re-runs of 24: Day 5. Well. What are YOU watching this weekend? Vote now!

ICYMI: Sherrod’s Anklebiter


Gawker pointed us to this clip of our very own panelists’ appearance on this morning’s episode of Today with Matt Lauer. While bantering about his reaction to Lauer’s big interview with Britney Spears, Sherrod Small did what he does best and asked Matt the question that’s been on all of our minds – what was up with your bare, sockless ankles?

The 3-Timer Club (or less)


tuesday night.jpg

Bad news, Tuesday Night Book Club fans. All 35 of you. CBS has pulled the plug on this unscripted Laguna-esque show for adults after only two episodes. While this news may depress the dozens of middle aged women who enjoyed the show, don’t fret. By getting cancelled after only two episodes, TNBC is automatically entered into the esteemed 3-Timer (or less) club, alongside Emily’s Reasons Why Not and Celebrity Cooking Showdown (and honorary member Love Monkey.) Congratulations, ladies. Remember: it’s better to have aired 2 episodes than to never have aired at all. Though not by much.

The Scientological Mystery of Kate and Katherine



Cityrag made this interesting observation about the uncanny resemblance between “Kate” Holmes and Katherine McPhee. On the surface this might just seem like an amusing coincidence, but when you dig a little deeper, this connection presents more mysterious questions than JFK’s assassination and The Da Vinci Code combined. First of all, there were all those rumors that McPhee is, or at least was, a Scientologist. And what exactly IS Scientology, anyway? Is this kooky religion the reason that TomKat want to bring the McPheever to their wedding ceremony? Also, what is this strange “eating disorder” Katherine claims to be suffering from? “Katie” is short for “Katherine”, and “Kate” is even shorter – ever think about that? And where the f*ck is Suri? Are Katherine and Kate actually the same person? Why is Tom Cruise so gay? Somebody call Scooby and the gang, because we’ve got a real mystery on our hands here.

ICYMI: Britney Cries Us A River


It’s hard to believe that an entire week has passed since the Britney Spears/Matt Lauer primetime interview that taught us all some tearful lessons about the true meaning of suffering, what it means to be an American, and the proper way to utilize “air quotes”. For those of you who find yourselves nostalgic for the dirty way you felt watching Brit smack her gum through her own nationally televised self-destruction, we humbly submit this parody video that re-creates the magic that is Britney Spears’ personality:

(via College Humor)

While You Were Loving Summer Fridays


  • Saddam Hussein ended his hunger strike after missing just one meal. He was later overheard mumbling “I don’t know how Nicole Richie does it.”
  • American Idol’s Katherine McPhee cancelled all of her press appearances yesterday after announcing she once suffered from bulimia. Taylor Hicks, meanwhile, still has stupid gray hair.
  • A musical based on and featuring music by The Ramones will make its UK debut on July 31. The orchestra needs at least another month to learn those 3 chords.
  • Avril Lavigne wants to be taken seriously as an actress. She hopes this will go better than her quest to be taken seriously as a musician.
  • Slash is upset that he never got a response after sending Axl Rose a Christmas card. Oh, and for that whole Forcing Him Out Of The Band And Making Guns N Roses A Laughingstock thing. But damn, that Christmas card thing stings.

Best Night Ever: Thursday, June 22nd


It’s Best Night Ever for Thursday, June 22nd! Dan Hopper is here to walk you through the best of Thursday night tv, including Master of Champions, So You Think You Can Dance?, and Windfall!

…Of The Day


  • HEF’S FAVORITE GAME: Guess the number of STD’s Between Them. I’m going with 19. (D-Listed)
  • SORRY CHARLIE: Cameron Diaz gets her ass dumped. Hollywood actors terrified as to who will have to date her next. (IDLYITW)
  • SEXY FACIAL FEATURE: The crazy eye! (Cityrag)
  • FUG OFF: Jessica Simpson vs. Brittany Murphy. Who you got??? (The Velvet Hot Tub)
  • TIMESAVER: Why waste your time with the new Superman movie when you can see the whole thing in 30 seconds? (Popoholic)

While You Were Getting Jiggy Wid It



  • Britney tries on new look to avoid paparazzi. Bares an uncanny resemblance to a famous person in wig disguise.
  • Dennis Leary’s fireman show Rescue Me offends viewers with a graphic rape. Luckily all five of them still promise to tune in next week if they can find FX again.
  • Nicky Hilton may be pregnant . Hopefully this kid won’t force her to put her line of Tweety Bird purses on the backburner.
  • Paris Hilton lands her helicopter on German farm so she can use their bathroom. But antics aren’t so adorable without Simple Life camera crew.
  • Futurama is making a comeback in 2008 It’s going to be the year of Peggy Seagal, I just know it.
  • Comedian Ze Frank is such hot sh*t right now he can pretty much conquer the world. With the help of two pieces of white bread and some Miracle Whip.