Teen Queen Hygiene: An Open Letter

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Dearest Britney,

You know, for a singer who had a massive hit with a song called "Toxic", you don’t seem to have a very strong grasp on the meaning of the word.  It is my sincerest hope that, while you’re laid up in the hospital, praying the needle you stepped on wasn’t Natasha Lyonne’s, you’ll take a moment to strongly consider what I’m about to tell you. 

The barefoot journey across America has got to stop, Britney.  Your adamant protest against footwear is bordering on obsessive and isn’t cute anymore.  It’s just reckless.  And rednecky.  A simple Google image search for "Britney Spears barefoot" tells a pretty sad, sobering story. 

As if your husband wasn’t enough of Hepatits risk all on his own, you insist upon increasing your chances of infection by doing a barefoot
long jump at every IHOP you go to.

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LISTEN UP: Your Daily Dose of the Best Music Ever

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  • Jennylewis Check out these blazin’ beats from hip hop imresario J-fed. You know, he’s just chillin at the studio, layin’ down tracks and "walking the dog," yo (yo).
  • Jenny Lewis wasn’t the only member of Rilo Kiley to produce a personal project this year. Blake Sennett got together with his band The Elected and released an album the same day as Rabbit Fur Coat. But no love was lost, since Lewis sings back up on The Elected’s folky It was Love.(via audiography)
  • This Blog keeps tabs on all free i-tunes downloads. It may not be what you ordered, but you it’s on the house. Today on the menu:  Brit pop band The Editor’s song Munich (not inspired by the movie)
  • If American Idol is any signifier of cultural trends, then twins are in. In honor of the genetic opportunists, here’s The Cocteau Twins sponsored by 80′s tunes.
  • If you went to Ninja High School, you’d probably write pop-locking break-dancing beats too. i wanna f*** dirty harry, hosts a bunch of their songs in an effort to go to their senior prom.
  • Gifted’s got another song for Daniel. This ones by earnest Bay Area folk duo The Finches. Not sure if this Daniel’s a star in the face of the sky, but he seems like an okay guy.

Inspired by Shakespeare, Based on Crap

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I am so excited about the new Amanda Bynes movie She’s the Man– about a girl who goes incognito as a guy at her high school. Why? because I love Shakespeare. The movie has billed itself as being inspired by the Bard’s classic comedy of errors Twelfth Night and we are absolutely sure it’s faithful to the original text. Just as faithful as the 1985 film Just One of The Guys was. That movie was also about a girl who goes incognito as a guy at her high school. I guess that was really based on Twelfth Night too.

After the jump we’ve collected a list of movies that are also inspired by Shakespeare but somehow remind us more recent films…

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The Godfather The Game The Premiere

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As you may have heard, they’ve made "The Godfather" into a video game. I spent some time on the website and it actually looks pretty cool. (Check out Mob Face!) Anyway, they used a lot of elements of the movie to make it look authentic, including using Marlon Brando’s real face. They are trying so hard to make it like a movie that they even had a star-studded premiere. Check out the pictures after the jump.

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Supernova? Supernova!

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TtommyleeIs it possible to form a rock and roll supergroup without a single super musician?

That’s the question CBS is going to try to answer on the next season of Rock Star when Jason Newstead (Metallica), Gilby Clarke (Guns ‘N Roses), and Tommy Lee (that sex tape) join forces to find a singer to lead this group that’s destined to make one radio-friendly single and then disappear forever. Hey, if you’re mediocre enough, maybe it’ll be you!

I’m sure there are a handful of sad 36-year-old former metal heads people out there who would be willing to argue with me that Newstead, Clark, and Lee are super-talented musicians from great bands. To those people, I’d say two things. 1) Get a job. Seriously, you haven’t been able to hold down a job since you worked at that liquor store in ’89, it’s time to get your act together. And 2) Tommyland: The Ride.

Yeah. It’s going to be a Super show.

“Grey’s Anatomy” Fans Revolt

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Each week, the writers of Grey’s Anatomy do a blog entry about the show that just aired. You would think that the fans of the show would be grateful for this, but judging by this week’s comments, you would be wrong. They are disappointed. They are angry. And they aren’t going to take it anymore:

Angie writes, "I’m a little disappointed in the blog too. I’ve waited
all day to read it just for the insight as to WHY you people write the
episodes you do and all I get is what wonderful guests you had on. Yes,
Natalie Cole was GREAT as was the Veronica Mars dude, but I have
questions. Love the show – hate this week’s blog."

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SIZZLER: Britney Spears Rushed To Hospital (again)

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According to the UK’s Female First: "Britney Spears had to be rushed to hospital after treading on a hypodermic needle. The pop babe – who is on holiday in Hawaii – had stepped out of her car without shoes on when she trod on the needle in a parking lot."

Britney? Barefoot? Hypodermic Needle? My head is swimming. There are so many ripe, perfectly formed one-liners on the tips of my fingers. But I will defer to you, readers. Give us you’re best joke for this Sizzler- we’ll post our favorite later in the day. 

IN CASE YOU MISSED IT: Must Love Jaws

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Okay, I’m finally willing to accept that none of these fake movie trailers popping up on the internet will ever be as good as The Shining-as-a-romantic-comedy one. However, this one is still really enjoyable. Check out Must Love Jaws. The perfect usage of the Spin Doctors, James Blunt, and R. Kelly make it worth the price of admission.

Requiem For An Animated Dream

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Unless you’re an aging secretary with too many pets and not enough dates, chances are you probably don’t find the comic strip Garfield to be very funny or amusing. 

But what IS funny and amusing is what happens when you remove Garfield’s thought bubbles from the strip, leaving a only a tragic portait of a lonely cat owner slowly sliding down the spiral to madness…

(via Boing Boing)

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