- Mandy Moore was horrified when she noticed that Cosmopolitan magazine ran the headline “Orgasms Unlimited” next to her face. Boyfriend Zach Braff, meanwhile, bought copies for everybody he knows.
- The rumor that the original cast of Saved by the Bell is reuniting to produce 30 new episodes of the show is nothing more than a big joke. The culprit believed to be behind the whole thing? Zack Morris, of course.
- Critics hate Elton John’s new vampire musical. They think it sucks! Get it? Vampires! Suck! Oh man, that was TOO EASY! WOO!
- Angelina and Brad will name their baby “Africa” because Angelina loves Africa. Thankfully, the child wasn’t born seven years ago when Angelina would have probably named it “Lesbians.”
- Britney Spears has already fired her nanny. K-Fed is said to be extremely upset that he didn’t even get the chance to bone her first.
Thanks to reader Mark for dropping this AMAZING video of a college theater group’s live action re-enactment of the first level of NES classic Super Mario Brothers. There is so much I love about this video, I don’t even know where to begin. Just watch it – and drop us more awesome stuff! If you have a name or website you’d like us to use, we’re happy to link back.
Ahoy matie! if pirates are your thing, then you’re having an unbeatable week.
First Disney hops on the myspace bandwagon by creating a profile for the upcoming Pirates of The Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest. Sure they’re a little late to the game, but they’re giving away prizes for adds. (hey isn’t that cheating?)
Then Keira Knightley (ok she’s not a pirate, but some of her best friends are) is pronounced the new face of Chanel’s perfume Madmoiselle.
And if that weren’t enough, Teri Hatcher gets attacked by an exploding lightbulb on the set of Desperate Housewives. And to answer your question: yes she will be wearing an eye patch!
Everybody’s favorite little sister, Ashlee Simpson, thinks she’s sexier than big-sis Jess.
“I’m taller than she is and my legs are longer than hers. I got lucky because my chest size isn’t completely massive.”
Now, she was joking around when she said it, but it still raises the question: Who do YOU think is sexier? Jess “The Chest” Simpson or Long Legged Ashlee. Vote now!
Isn’t it great that Cindy Margolis is back? And desperate.
After taking an 8 year break from relevancy (and we’re using the word “relevancy” verrrrry loosely here), Cindy seems to be everywhere these days. She starred in an episode of Celebrity Cooking Showdown (before it was yanked from the NBC lineup due to atrocious ratings), she’s supporting Team Nick (arguably the second most popular team in the Nick/Jessica division), and after all these years she has FINALLY agreed to do Playboy. Which is great. Beause after a decade of looking at pictures of Cindy wearing bikinis where we could see 9/10ths of her rack, it’s about time we get some closure. Those nipples better be made out of diamonds, that’s all I’m saying.
But anyway, we should all be thankful that Cindy is posing for Playboy in 2006… and that she didn’t do it back in 1986. Thank God for plastic surgery.
It’s starting to seem like Borat, probably the funniest of the many alter-egos of Sacha Baron Cohen, is turning up everywhere. Last week the President of Kazakhstan’s daughter spoke out in defense of the satirical comedian, insisting that the people of Kazakhstan (the country from which Borat claims to hail) should embrace the character’s humorous antics, as opposed to being offended by them.
If you’re still not a Borat Believer, do yourself a favor and head over to YouTube to check out a whole bunch of his hilarious clips.
There are lots of conspiracy theories surrounding Tom Cruise and this video by curiousfury proves what we’ve thought about Tom all along: Tom’s getting kickbacks from Nike. Check out this spoof of Nike’s marathon commericials using footage from Tom’s movies. It’ll make you want to buy whatever sneakers Tom’s wearing (without the lifts)
(via Ad Rants)
CRACKED Magazine has nabbed the world’s first interview with young Sean Preson Spears, getting the dirt on exactly what life is like growing up with the scariest parents since The Addams Family. And if that’s not enough TMI for you, you can hear the Spears offspring’s very first words over at my MySpace page (yes, shameless self-promotion – but it’s relevant!)
Also, I think it’s funny that the kid’s initials are one letter away from spelling “SOS”.
- MyExBestFriend is my new best friend for posting far and away the best mp3 update I’ve ever seen. Styx, REO Speedwagon, MJ, Bay City Rollers, Rod Stewart… the list goes on and on. This is why the internet was invented.
- There’s something you need to know: If somebody posts a song from The Karate Kid II soundtrack, I’m going to link it. Latitude 44.2N has the Peter Cetera masterpiece “Glory of Love.” Download it, then name it something else so nobody discovers you have it on your iPod.
- Quick, let’s move onto good music. Like the Spoon rarities and B-Sides over at Captain’s Dead.
- Or how about the 14 live Ryan Adams tracks that I Am Fuel, You Are Friends has up. You can never have enough Ryan Adams, right?… Right?
- And finally, Dreams of Horses has a track by Pony Up! which may just have the best song title ever: “The Truth About Cats and Dogs (Is That They Die).” Sorry Uma, it’s true.
Yesterday, we were so enamoured of the Hello! pictures of Angelina, Brad and the brood, looking all family-oriented in the Nambian desert, we neglected to mention something rather odd.
Who is this woman in the picture? Why does she seem resistant to Zahara’s potent cuteness? And why was she invited to be in this staged family photoshoot? Is she one of those nannies who are “like family” ? Or in addition to their Cambodian and African children, did the couple adopt a bored, white 19-year-old American ? I think that would make them true humanitarians.