BWE’S Preemptive Stalker

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Budapest

If Gawker’s Stalker maps just aren’t doing it for you now that George Clooney has diluted the celebrity spottings, we’ve got just the solution. We’ve decided not to tell you where we’ve spotted stars, but where the stars are scheduled to be in the next week. If you didn’t get a chance to run down to the Midtown precinct yesterday to see Naomi Campbell behind bars, there’s still a chance to spot some other celebs. Find out where one Baldwin, a few drunken reality stars, the mafia, one poppa(zao)and more will be in the next week after the jump.

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GAMES: Victory Is Ours

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Family_guyThe concept is simple– click on a character to shoot them with a ray gun. Try to do it as many times as you can before the time runs out. We’ve played this game a million times before.

But THIS time you’re playing as Stewie. AND you’re shooting members of the Griffin clan. So THAT’S what makes it worth your while. To a degree.

Waste a couple of minutes of time at work by playing the Family Guy "Victory is Ours" game. There are less productive things you could be doing with your time. You know… like reading blogs.

PLAY the game here.

Darkon– First Look

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DarkonIt’s rare that I get excited for a movie based solely on a trailer– well, except for Basic Instinct 2– but after seeing the trailer for Darkon, I can NOT WAIT to see this movie.

It’s like Braveheart meets… Revenge of The Nerds. And it’s real. What more could you possibly ask for?

Watch the trailer here. Then add Darkon as one of your MySpace friends. They currently only have 137 friends… which will seem incredibly appropriate after you watch the trailer. I can’t wait for this movie.

SIZZLER: George Clooney Hates Bloggers

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Georgeclooneyelle

After being misrepresented as a blogger by the Huffington Post, George Clooney is now going after Gawker and it’s recent launch of a celebrity sightings section. According to Page Six, the Oscar-winning actor wants to flood the blog’s email with fake celebrity sightings rendering the blog inaccurate.

In an email forwarded by his publicist to other celebrity publicists he wrote: "Get your clients to get 10 friends to text in fake sightings of any number of stars. A couple hundred conflicting sightings and this Web site is worthless. No need to try to create new laws to restrict free speech. Just make them useless."

Hey George will you attack our blog now? We would love a little press.

Snaked Trailers

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As you surely know by now, most of the steamy scenes from Basic Instinct 2 that circulated around the Internet (don’t pretend like you didn’t watch them) didn’t actually make it into the movie. In fact, there is very little sex and gratuitous nudity in the final version. This is quite disappointing and a little disturbing. But now I have even worse news. A spy who has seen the final version of Snakes on a Plane got in touch with me to reveal something even more shocking than the lack of sex in Basic Instinct 2: There are no snakes in Snakes on a Plane

…OF THE DAY

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Nascarmeat

  • TYPECASTING: Helen Wagner. She has played Nancy Hughes on the As the World Turns for 50 years.
  • ANNOYING PROMOS: USA Network. On my Criminal Intent reruns, they make Wynona Judd and Monk pop up on the screen way, way too often.
  • MEAT: Nascar. They have just released their own line of meat products, including bacon and hot dogs.
  • OLYMPIC THREAT: American White Moth. It is threatening to turn Beijing’s "green Olympics" brown. They are using sexually attracting agents, insecticide lamps, and bees to combat them.
  • ANN MAGNUSON MOVIE REVIEW: Adam & Steve. She calls it the gay Annie Hall.
  • SPAM SUBJECT LINE THAT TRICKED ME: "Tomorrow." I hate it when they actually fool me, but I had to know what was going to happen tomorrow!

Before Braff was on i-Tunes

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NBC has just announced that all current episodes of this season of Scrubs are now available on iTunes. He may be playing a goofy but irresistible doctor on i-Pods across America now, but we remember when Zach Braff first appeared on our clunky wood-paneled TV set as an awkward, humorless teen in the Babysitter’s Club. Check out these old-school screen grabs of Braff on TBC courtesy of Barbie Martini. Never forget where you came from, Braff. (And never get that haircut again.)

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While You Were Loving Spring

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  • Sheridan
    Morrissey
    says he hates Tony Blair’s wife, Cherie’s, face. He’s more of an ass man.
  • Jessica Simpson looks up to Angelina Jolie. And in an effort to be more like her, she plans on stealing Brad Pitt away from his girlfriend.
  • Dick Cheney tackles Fox News, bunker busters, and Karl Rove in his stand-up comedy debut. And somehow it’s still funnier than Free Ride.
  • Nicollete Sheridan has selected her wedding gown for her upcoming nuptuals with Michael Bolton. Much like Bolton himself, the dress can only be appreciated ironically.
  • Brokeback Mountain has been banned in the Bahamas. Because they’re intolerant of cowboys. What, why else do you think they’d ban it?
  • Lindsay Lohan’s maybe-boyfriend Leonardo DiCaprio was caught with a Gisele lookalike "snogging like mad." Upon hearing the news Lindsay said it was fine, but admitted that if she ever found out he was kissing somebody else she’d be pissed.