Celebrity Blog Watch: Guess Who!

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Gene_simmons

Since it’s Valentine’s Day, I figured now’s as good a time as any to check out some celebrity blogs to find out what they have to say about love. And life. And vaginas.

I pulled this quote from a celebrity blog; you have to guess who wrote it. The answer will be after the jump. Okay? Here we go:

Someone told me that women are having their vaginas rejuvenated. That’s
right, rejuvenated and reconstructed and revirginized even. I thought
they were kidding.

Your choices are:

a) Gene Simmons
b) Anderson Cooper
c) Rosie O’Donnell
d) Fred Durst

Who wrote about revirginizing vaginas? Click below to find out.

Read more…

An Intervention: I’m Worried About Kelly Clarkson

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Kellyclarkson

It’s been inspiring to see Kelly Clarkson‘s rise from wannabe to Grammy-award winning pop superstar. But recently, there are some disturbing signs that she is turning the corner into some unfortunate territory: Divaville. Here’s why I’m worried:

  • She just sold her old house, which was a modest little number in Mansfield, Texas. It’s fine that she’s selling her house, but watch out if she ends up in a Hollywood mansion with a pool shaped like a microphone.
  • She broke up with her boyfriend, Graham Colton, reportedly due to their "busy schedules." Once again, this is okay. But she needs to be careful that she doesn’t end up with a Hollywood boyfriend or worse, be caught making out with Colin Farrell.
  • Finally, there is the American Idol double whammy: She didn’t want to let AI use her music on their show and she didn’t thank the show when she won the Grammy. Okay, maybe she wants to make a break from the show, but she has to at least acknowledge its role in making her famous. OF course, she’s free to say mean things about Simon.

Kelly, we love you because you’re one of us. Please don’t become one of them.

While You Were Stepping in Slush

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Moss

  • VH1 will introduce a new show called Surreal Life Fame Games, which involves Surreal Life Alums competing for fame and fortune rent money.
  • The Incredible Hulk is back to fighting crime, when he’s not guest starring on the King of Queens
  • Destiny’s lesser-loved children Michelle Williams and Kelly Rowland are planning to take over the music industry… with recurring roles in two UPN sitcoms.
  • It’s not that Andrew Morton’s upcoming Tom Cruise tell-all biography accuses the star of being gay. It’s that it’s glib.
  • Paul Walker says ‘take my wife.’ Give her pleasure.
  • Paris Hilton refusing to strip for Playboy makes her eligible to play Mother Teresa. I’m not kidding.
  • Madonna may leave Britain to escape rumors of a busted marriage. Guy Ritchie encourages her choice but plans to stay.
  • Mel Gibson is building a church in Pennsylvania. Poised to bring conservative, religious fervor to the Amish.

Celebrity Secrets Revealed

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La_cycle_17feb1

TMZ has a list of some things that photographers have witnessed but are too classy to capture with their cameras. A partial list:

  • Britney Spears has gone into the bathroom at a Mobil Gas Station three times — each time she was barefoot. Are they trying to imply that a gas-station floor is dirty?

  • Lindsay Lohan was caught picking her nose for several minutes straight. Who says she’s not eating enough?
  • Pam Anderson bakes casseroles for her kid’s classmates. She’s an awesome mom, picking
    her kids up everyday and, much to their chagrin, kissing them in public. They might just be a little bit of afraid of her lips.
  • Mel Gibson plays cat and mouse games with paparazzi, hiding behind cars and startling them. Why are they always trying to crucify Mel?
  • Madonna often rides her bike in the exact
    same clothing, minimizing the number of photos the paparazzi can sell. Yeah, that’s the reason!

…Of The Day

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Katie_holmes_2
QUOTE: "I didn’t even know my bra size until I made a movie."Angelina Jolie (3am)

OSCAR NOMINEE PARODY: Conversations I’ve Had During A Normal Day In Los Angeles, Modified To Include The Shocking Depiction Of Racism Found In Paul Haggis’ 2004 Film Crash. (McSweeney’s)

BIGGEST CRASH THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE OSCARS: Lindsay Kildow’s (NBC)

THE ‘TOO LITTLE, TOO LATE’ AWARD FOR A STUPID HEADLINE: Jaws Creator Loved Sharks, Wife Reveals (Times Online)

EMBARRASSING VAN HALEN NEWS: Van Halen Headed to Next Season of ‘Rock Star’? (TMZ)

VIDEO OF KATIE HOLMES GETTING THE WOOL PULLED OVER HER EYES BY SOMEBODY OTHER THAN TOM CRUISE: Katie Holmes Punk’d Video (Smit Happens)

While You Were Sneaking Past Your Boss’s Office With Your Coat On

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Ashton_kutcher

  • Say it isn’t so! Page Six reports the best show on television may be canceled (No, not Arrested Development)
  • R. Kelly has even more secrets besides peeing on a teenager.
  • Forbes publishes it’s annual top earners in rock list or as we like to call it The Beatles-and-the Rolling Stones-are-still-rich list.
  • Jake Gyllenhaal was supposed to be the third person in the now imfamous Vanity Fair cover shoot. But it made more sense to have an arrogant sexually-ambiguous clothing designer replace him.
  • Ashton Kutcher makes digital media development deal. Hey Ashton, do we have to call this money-making scheme a "scientific experiment" too?         

Read more…

IN CASE YOU MISSED IT: Only In Kenya

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KenyaI’m not sure why, but I’m pretty sure this is my favorite video on the internet. I really hope "Only in Kenya" becomes the next "Crazy Frog."  Watch it now!

After watching the video for about 4 minutes I thought, "I hope this never ends." Then, at about the 12 minute mark I thought, "Okay, nevermind." But still.

What’s your favorite part? Is it the adorable dancing lion?  Is it the random calling out of Norway? Is it the song? Or is it the slogan "Kenya Believe It?"

I don’t know what mine is, but I do know one thing: I want to go to Kenya. Because they have lions and tigers.

BEST NIGHT EVER

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After finally digging ourselves out of the snow, we bring you today’s belated – but still totally best – BEST NIGHT EVER!

LISTEN UP: Your Daily Dose of the Best Music Ever

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Sparks1

  • I’m a suedehead, I’ll admit. But I’m not sure what to make of this Suedehead ‘sparks’ remix from underground express. Anything fueled by smart-tart flavored booze ain’t made for me and the Moz. But it’s worth a listen.
  • Joanna by Peasant is a sweet lil ditty hosted by saidthegramaphone that involves lots of soft knee slapping and maraca shaking.  it’s tenderly mix-tape-worthy if you’re feeling sentimental.
  • Here’s what I love about Bishop Allen: their internet roots. Remember Spark.com, that awesome home for death, personality and purity tests? Bandmate Christian Rudder is using his Barnes and Noble buyout money to tour with this lovable, airy band who sound like the musical version of that cheeky pre-blogging site. Turn up Things are What You Make of Them.
  • I love The Clash. Thanks comboplates for this softly ska-punk Wrong Em Boyo
  • Roots Reggae rocks and so does Jamaican born John Holt. Check out Riding For a Fall at diddywah
  • This rendition of Blondie’s CALL ME will send shivers down yer timbers. Collin Couvillion turns this frothy 70′s pop song into a haunting stalker’s anthem.

Mardi Gras: Show Us Your Brit S.

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Britney_spears_125541a

Here’s something from the AP:

Britney Spears, a Louisiana native, will celebrate Mardi Gras in New
Orleans…: ”I am honored to be a part of the Mardi
Gras celebration in New Orleans this year,” Spears said in a statement
Monday. ”It is so important for this amazing city to continue its
annual traditions and I am really looking forward to being involved.”

…Last
week, photos were published of Spears driving with her 4-month-old son,
Sean Preston, sitting on her lap instead of being strapped to a car
seat in the back seat…. On Monday, Transportation
Secretary Norman Mineta chided Spears as ”irresponsible” for driving
with her baby son on her lap and announced a new initiative to improve
child car seat safety.

Meanwhile, the Vice President of the United States shot someone in the face.