Working The Real World

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Derek When I was in college, auditioning for the Real World was just another way to put off finding a real job. But these days landing one of those shows IS a real job and the perks are endless.  Landing an MTV reality show means a ticket to the Gauntlet and an automatic hosting gig on E! But thanks to Absolute Dawg, the real world/road rules blog, we’ve discovered that’s just the beginning.

This entire month, Katie Doyle and her Gauntlet 2 cast-mates Derek, Trishelle, Jamie and Landon are being put up in a fancy Acapulco hotel for MTV’s spring break. Here’s how Katie describes her average day at work this month:

"Landon and I are going to get massages later. There is nothing more relaxing than a massage right on the beach. We got invited on a yacht, and hung out with some cool people….We got more free clothes coming from American Eagle…We have awesome views and and a cool waterfall in our pool."

In my heart I know they’re just as envious of my life (she wrote from her cubicle that smells like onions).

Mary-Kate and Ashley = Selma and Patty?

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Ashleyaspatty                          Markkateasthelma

As you may have heard, Mary-Kate and Ashley appear to enjoy a cig from time to time. Well, they’re young and probably aren’t that worried about the long-term effects of smoking. But we ran a program on the BWE computer to simulate what the twins will look like if they keep smoking. What we found was not pretty (see above).

SIZZLER: Keith Urban Mocks Tom Cruise?

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Here’s something by the ol’ reliable National Ledger:

Nicole Kidman‘s honey Keith Urban is having a bit of fun at Nic’s-ex Tom Cruise according to one published report.  The country hunk apparently mocks Cruise in private, poking fun at his acting and of course mimicking his couch jumping antics from last year’s Oprah and Jay Leno appearances…. Urban is no Tom Cruise fan and reportedly refuses to meet girlfriend Nicole Kidman’s ex-hubby.

I don’t know why he shouldn’t make fun of Cruise. Everyone else does.

BWE Photoshop Contest: The WINNERS!

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Thanks to everybody who participated in the first BWE Photoshop Contest. We got so many great entries it was hard to pick just one winner. So, just like the Westminster Dog Show, we’re going to have a bunch of winners, with the grand prize going to the entry the judges deemed Best In Show.

So, without further adieu, I present you the winners of Put Paul Anywhere!

<—- Best Proof That Paul’s a Dog (click below for the rest!)

Read more…

IN CASE YOU MISSED IT: The Cleaning Hunk

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Mr_clean

New York, New York: the city that never sleeps, a melting pot of art, culture and commerce, a place that can overcome monumental adversity.  But there’s a new reason to love the city and that’s the local commercial for the Cleaning Hunk. Airing only in the tri-state area and only during daytime TV, Cleaning Hunk advertises a new contest offering women "a one year vacation from cleaning." Nobody is really sure  why they’re advertising, what the catch is or whether male-stripper house cleaners even exist, but who cares. The ad is pure Chippendale’s gold.

LISTEN UP: Your Daily Dose of the Best Music Ever

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  • From WFMU, The Incomparable Rutland Junior High School Ensemble with "Do the Hustle" It’s sort of like Langley gone disco.
  • From comboplate, Voice of East Harlem gives us "Cashing In." Just right for a Friday afternoon.
  • From The Ten Thousand Things, Aaron LaCrate with "Blow." Amanda Blank (I think) rules this track. 
  • From Making Flippy Floppy, DEV2.O with "Freedom of Choice." Just had an uncontrollable urge.
  • From Lupatarkastaja, Yakuza‘s “Cancer of Industry” the " most acceptable track of the record, so it’s good way to dive in to this hybrid of King Crimson, Napalm Death, System of a Down and all that jazz." Amen. 
  • From my new favorite dead horse to flog, The Soul Club, Solomon Burke‘s version of "Maggie’s Farm." And that’s all for me this week!

SIZZLER: Brangelina’s Italian Wedding?

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Angiebrad_1

While the jaded American press is convinced that Angelina and Brad are already married, those fun-loving, optimistic Italians are still holding out for a wedding invitation.

According to Italian press, the couple will be married on a "traditional boat" in Lake Como on March 18th. In the meantime the Paparazzi is keeping a close eye on George Clooney’s Lake Como Villa. You can watch footage of the couple and read more about the story if you speak Italian. If you don’t you’ll have to settle for pictures of the couple after the jump and a lifetime of mispronouncing ‘mozzarella.’

Read more…

While You Were Re-Shuffling Your Playlist

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  • Looks like Friends spin-off, Joey, is being canceled. I guess NBC hasn’t heard of the golden rule.
  • Leif Garrett ordered to stay in rehab. Reality show producers foiled again.
  • Ben Affleck and Jen Garner’s neighborhood fraught with crime. Their decision to play crime fighting superheros in Daredevil finally making sense. 
  • Keira Knightly looks glum as she poses for the cover of Vogue. We know Keira, we miss Tom Ford too. 
  • Reese and Ryan’s marriage is not so perfect after all. He’s jealous of her career, she’s jealous of his eyebrows.

GAMES: The Erotic Adventures of Georgina Bush

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Welcome
to the Amazing Erotic Adventures of Georgina Bush. This is an
interactive story in which you get to be George W. Bush, 43rd president
of the United States. As leader of the free world, your schedule can be
exhausting. You must juggle presidential briefings and panty-shopping,
diplomatic sessions and drag-queen karaoke contests.

Take a wrong step, and the world will discover your secret. .

I’m not sure what the inspiration was for this game, but I havne’t had so much fun with a Choose Your Adventure since the 6th grade.

Click here to begin.

Link via the one and only Gorillamask, naturally.