SIZZLER: Duff Goes to Broadway


1005605_haylie180.jpgMaking it on Broadway is every actor’s dream. But it doesn’t matter if you’re an A-list actor, Broadway reserves its esteemed stages for only the best performers in the biz. And Haylie Duff is no exception. After wowing the critics with her star turn in the Certs flavor crystals commercials, the other white Duff has been asked to play Amber van Tussle in Hairspray the Musical. She will be following in the footsteps of a long line of skilled masters of the Broadway stage, namely Drew Lachey, Christina Applegate, Jason Biggs and of course, the great Joey Fatone. Brava Duffster, and if bring your sister to next year’s awards, we’re sure you’ll snag a Tony too .

ICYMI: While You Were Working


Just in case you were ever curious, this is what happens on TV while you’re busy at work. I’m not going to say anything else. Just watch.

I’m quitting my job. Who’s with me?

SIZZLER: Scientologists Fight Drugs, Clever T-Shirts


scientology_gay_3_0613_400.jpgIn a bold move that would likely have sent Tom Cruise into an apoleptic seizure of furious furniture-bouncing, LA “punk” film director John Roecker wore a T-shirt with Cruise’s face – along with that of fellow Scientologist John Travolta – that read, “Scientology Is Gay, Very Gay”. This ballsy fashion statement did not go unnoticed by the minions of the church, as he was soon accosted by Jenna Elfman and her husband, also Scientologists, who angrily scolded the director and inexplicably demanded to know whether or not he had ever “raped a baby”. I’m not really sure what that particular query had to do with the situation, but the good news is that Roecker escaped the confrontation without harm to anything other than his chances of directing M:I4. And after a few sessions of intense auditing and Thetan-cleansing, the Elfmans were able to safely continue on with their day. So all is well that ends well.

Not sure where you can get the T-shirt.

GAMES: Nacho Kung Fu!


nacho_libre.jpgEverybody’s looking forward to Nacho Libre. Jack BLack, plus the director of Naploen Dynamite– if these two men both bring their A-games, this could end up being the most quotable movie in the history of cinema. White frat guys with backwards hats all over the country are STOKED!

The movie comes out this weekend, but in the meantime you can practice your kung-fu moves with this Nacho Libre game. Click here, then scroll down to Nacho Kung-Fu. Just to give you a heads-up; your first opponent is a pig. I wish you the best of luck. You may need it.

Guess the Celebrity Nipster…


harrah1.jpgEver since Tara Reid’s dress strap slipped-off her shoulder, the nipple has been in. From Paris to Lindsay, every big star in Hollywood has shown a little nip.

So it makes sense that this dreamy male actor– who’s copped the surreal styles of everyone from the King of Pop to the Pirates of Penzance– would want to show off his goods in a blue ruffled chemise. Yup, just like the potato chip, these ruffles have man-ridges. Find out whose man-ridges after the jump.
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This morning’s Regis and Kelly really classed things up with guests Paris Hilton and Janice Dickinson. While we couldn’t really understand Paris’ boring, incoherent rambling, our patented Celebrity Translator was able to fill us in on what exactly she was talking about. Incidentally, when we tried to use the Translator on Janice Dickinson’s portion of the show, it didn’t work because she isn’t a celebrity.

If you’d like to try your luck deciphering Paris without the help of the Celebrity Translator, here’s a clip of her appearance on Letterman last night. See what you can make of it, but it just sounds like gibberish to me.

PROPPED: Seth Macfarlane Is Funnier Animated


Family Guy creator Seth Macfarlane took a break from stealing material to speak to some Harvard graduates. Taintpuncher (great name) Dropped this link to the entire 20 minute speech where Seth assumes the identities of Peter, Stewie and Quagmire. The only thing the speech is missing is random cutaways to interchangable comedy scenes that distract from the poor writing. Besides that, in the words of Peter Griffin, it’s frickin’ sweet. Watch the Peter portion below, then click here to see the rest of them.

Got something of your own you want to pass on? Drop it now!

SIZZLER: Federlines Torture Mel Gibson Into Retreat


braveheart1.jpgMel Gibson is no stranger to torture. In Braveheart, he endured his wife being raped before he was publicly castrated. In Lethal Weapon, his character was constantly beaten and tortured beyond recognition. And he’s the man who brought us The Passion, possibly the most brutal portrayal of suffering ever seen on the big screen. But in real life, living next door to the Spears-Federlines has proven to be too much agony for even William Wallace to suffer. Mel’s selling his house and moving his family somewhere they can be safe from the dangers of gold-digging rapper wannabes and self-destructive pop singers. I can’t really blame him. When you own a 24 million dollar mansion, you shouldn’t have to wake up every morning to the sounds of Kevin’s awful hip-hop and Britney’s tortured sobbing, intermingled with the smells of unchanged diapers and the cheap weed K-Fed’s “posse” is smoking.

SIZZLER EXCLUSIVE: Sheen’s New Girlfriend an Actress?


allen.jpgWe were so happy to see Charlie Sheen moving on from Denise Richards with a new woman who isn’t an actress. At the Fifth Annual Butterfly Ball, Sheen brought his brand new lady love, Brooke Wolofsky a sexy, sultry real estate investor who doesn’t give a damn about the big screen. The couple were cuddly in front of the press and whispered sweet nothings into each other’s ears, presumably about Estate License Laws and escrow.

But because we’ve got Sheen’s back and because Wolofsky is the hottest Real Estate investor we’ve ever seen, we did a little google research and were surprised to find that Brooke Wolofsky bears a striking resemblance to an actress named Brooke Mueller, star of the 1999 thriller Witchouse –a movie about a group of friends hot women who try to resurrect the dead. Mueller more recently had an uncredited bit part in A Love Song for Bobby Long, but in that movie, she went by the name Brooke Allen. Hmmm. We’re not sure if this is the same Brooke as Charlie’s. Look at the pictures and decide for yourself. But if this is the same Brooke, Sheen may not only be dating an actress, but also some one in the witness protection program. Then again, if we starred in Witchhouse, we’d probably change our name too.

Brooke’s Imdb Page

It’s June 13; What’s up?


joe rogan.jpgIt’s Tuesday night, and you know what that means: it’s the night of the Semi-Famous Celebrities and their Somewhat-Popular Shows that Include Their Name in the Title. Hooray! Tonight you have Jamie Kennedy’s Blowin’ Up on MTV, Kathy Griffin: My Life On The D-List on Bravo, and The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency on Oxygen. If only John Ratzenberger’s Made In America was airing on the Travel Channel tonight my life would be complete.

What else is on? Well, tonight marks the premiere of the new CBS show More Desperate Housewives… I mean, Tuesday Night Book Club, as well as the new season of Fear Factor. This season the producers enlisted a slew of washed-up reality stars to compete, presumably because Joe Rogan was sick of being the least likable person on the show. Beyond that, there’s a new episode of Queer Eye: Vegas tonight and The Real World. What are YOU watching? Vote now!