IN CASE YOU MISSED IT: Madonna’s Uncensored Video ‘Sorry’

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Madonna’s new video Sorry was supposed to be so racy in it’s first incarnation that it had to be censored for MTV. We got a hold of the original, uncensored version and between the candy colored makeup and the boozey-make out sessions in the back of a trailer cruising down the LA streets, the video was about as titillating as The Fifth Wheel. In fact I think it was an episode of The Fifth Wheel. (via IDLYITW)

WHILE YOU WERE IN A TABLOID COMA

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  • Mary J. Blige doesn’t want to hear Liza Minnelli‘s cover of her 2001 hit “Family Affair.” See the stars are just like us! (J.K. Liza.)
  • George Clooney has donated his bag of Oscar goodies to an auction to raise money for the victims of Hurricane Katrina. Just what they needed: A bottle of Kristal and Kiehl’s gift certificate.
  • It’s being reported that Reese Witherspoon is mad about the rumors that she is having marriage problems because it overshadowed her Oscar win. She supposedly said, "I’m the highest-paid actress in history, and this crap isn’t going to bring me down!’” But she said it with the sweetest smile you ever saw.
  • Lucy Liu says that America is in a "tabloid coma." Funny, I thought we were in more of a Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle coma.
  • Kanye West is scheduled to headline Lollapalooza this August. Who says alternative music is dead?
  • Christina Aguilera and Shakira were reportedly paid £580,000 each to sing at a Russian billionaire’s birthday. That’s a lot of £!

Neighborhoodies Butterface

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I’m sure you’ve noticed a lot of ads for custom T-shirt companies (like Neighborhoodies) where you see some funny slogan featured atop a pair of large, shapely breasts. But it seems like a lot of the ads don’t show the model’s head. Well, you can finally see what she looks like. See this Best Week Ever exclusive after the jump…

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IN CASE YOU MISSED IT: Matt & Trey on Letterman

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Trey Parker & Matt Stone dropped by The Late Show with David Letterman last night to talk about the new season of South Park… and more importantly, about Isaac Hayes and Chef-Gate. Watch the video to hear their side of the story.

Commentary: TV Gives Up Hope with ‘The Loop

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The TV used to believe in us, it used to give us hope for a better life with bigger windows, more expensive furniture and lots of free time.  You had the Friends, who lived in multi-million dollar lofts on their waitress-caterer budget. And the office-buddies at Just Shoot Me and Suddenly Susan,  who spend their days in colorful, couch-heavy offices with large kitchens and friendships that went beyond the work day.   

But these days we’ve gotten less optimistic in our portrayal of 20-something life on TV. Want proof?

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While You Were Watching Basketball At Work

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    Jessica Simpson
    says "thanks… but no thanks" to meeting President Bush. She figured it’d be cool, but not nearly as cool as the time she met Johnny Knoxville and those hilarious Jackass guys.
  • Members of the Three 6 Mafia have been spotted carrying around their Oscar in a paper bag. Which makes sense considering they usually leave their 40 oz’s on the mantlepiece.
  • Fergie was obsessed with The Exorcist when she was a kid.  Naturally. Only somebody truly demonic could write a song like "My Humps."
  • Remember Tom Green? Yeah, he just broke two ribs in a fishing accident. He ranks it as the third worse thing to happen to his body, right behind cancer and Drew Barrymore.
  • Phil Collins has split from his wife after six years of marriage. It’s yet to be reported whether he broke things off with her by fax or by email.
  • Michael Jackson is one step closer to re-opening Neverland. Which means he’s one step closer to re-opening some other things as well.

Teen Queen Hygiene: An Open Letter

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Dearest Britney,

You know, for a singer who had a massive hit with a song called "Toxic", you don’t seem to have a very strong grasp on the meaning of the word.  It is my sincerest hope that, while you’re laid up in the hospital, praying the needle you stepped on wasn’t Natasha Lyonne’s, you’ll take a moment to strongly consider what I’m about to tell you. 

The barefoot journey across America has got to stop, Britney.  Your adamant protest against footwear is bordering on obsessive and isn’t cute anymore.  It’s just reckless.  And rednecky.  A simple Google image search for "Britney Spears barefoot" tells a pretty sad, sobering story. 

As if your husband wasn’t enough of Hepatits risk all on his own, you insist upon increasing your chances of infection by doing a barefoot
long jump at every IHOP you go to.

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LISTEN UP: Your Daily Dose of the Best Music Ever

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  • Jennylewis Check out these blazin’ beats from hip hop imresario J-fed. You know, he’s just chillin at the studio, layin’ down tracks and "walking the dog," yo (yo).
  • Jenny Lewis wasn’t the only member of Rilo Kiley to produce a personal project this year. Blake Sennett got together with his band The Elected and released an album the same day as Rabbit Fur Coat. But no love was lost, since Lewis sings back up on The Elected’s folky It was Love.(via audiography)
  • This Blog keeps tabs on all free i-tunes downloads. It may not be what you ordered, but you it’s on the house. Today on the menu:  Brit pop band The Editor’s song Munich (not inspired by the movie)
  • If American Idol is any signifier of cultural trends, then twins are in. In honor of the genetic opportunists, here’s The Cocteau Twins sponsored by 80′s tunes.
  • If you went to Ninja High School, you’d probably write pop-locking break-dancing beats too. i wanna f*** dirty harry, hosts a bunch of their songs in an effort to go to their senior prom.
  • Gifted’s got another song for Daniel. This ones by earnest Bay Area folk duo The Finches. Not sure if this Daniel’s a star in the face of the sky, but he seems like an okay guy.

Inspired by Shakespeare, Based on Crap

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I am so excited about the new Amanda Bynes movie She’s the Man– about a girl who goes incognito as a guy at her high school. Why? because I love Shakespeare. The movie has billed itself as being inspired by the Bard’s classic comedy of errors Twelfth Night and we are absolutely sure it’s faithful to the original text. Just as faithful as the 1985 film Just One of The Guys was. That movie was also about a girl who goes incognito as a guy at her high school. I guess that was really based on Twelfth Night too.

After the jump we’ve collected a list of movies that are also inspired by Shakespeare but somehow remind us more recent films…

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