Paris is Contagious

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According to techie experts, there is a new virus infiltrating emails offering nude pictures of Paris Hilton. Called Bagle-do, the worm prompts readers to open the file promising a glimpse at the celebrity, but then infects their computer and potentially others who receive emails from that computer. The highly contagious virus spreads quickly from email to email, but often it’s symptoms are undetectable. And while there’s no cure, Valtrex does help reduce sypmtoms.

Kevin Covais: Me Talk Pretty One Day

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Here’s what Grey’s Anatomy writer Krista Vernoff had to say on the show’s blog about American Idol contestant Kevin Covais:

WHY IS NO ONE  TALKING ABOUT KEVIN COVAIS’ SPEECH IMPEDIMENT? Seriously, how are you supposed to have a professional singing career when you sound like this: “You should have told me yourthelf, that you loved thomeone elth, insthead I heard it through the grapevine…”???  He is sweet kid – even a talented singer, but seriously!

Now I see why all the patients on Grey’s Anatomy have ridiculous diseases: The writers think that disabilities are something to make fun of. Nice job, Krista!

While You Were Sleepwalking Through Another Friday

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  • Playboy
    American Idol’s
    final 12 contestants are getting their very own MySpace profiles. The contestants who were kicked off? Dismissed to Friendster.
  • Jessica Alba will not let this whole Playboy thing go. Now she’s demanding they pull the magazine. Unfortunately it’s too late, as thousands of teenage boys have already pulled themselves.
  • Bon Jovi is accusing Franz Ferdinand of ripping off his style. I don’t know about you, but I always get the two confused. Now I know why.
  • 58-year-old James Woods is dating his buddy’s 19-year-old daughter. The friend is said to be okay with it, except when they rent American Beauty and say, "Oh my god, that is SO us!"
  • Madonna is looking to buy a house in Israel where she can await the Messiah. I guess he owes her money or something.
  • Kid Rock is dating a porn star. Sorry, that was supposed to read: Kid Rock is dating another porn star.

SIZZLER: Ozzy wants to help Pete

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Ozzysharonosbourne_narrowweb__200x274_1 Ozzy Osbourne has offered to save Pete Doherty from his drug addiction. While the aging rocker is famous for his bouts with excessive booze and drugs, he’s reportedly cleaned up his act in the past few years thanks to a radical detox treatment, more powerful than any rehab center or methadone clinic. His secret? wife Sharon.  Ozzy claims Sharon is great at cleaning up drug-addled rockers and he really thinks Doherty should give her a try. He also mentioned his price is negotiable.

Flame Wars in History

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Yesterday we learned the dangers of talking bad about Joe Rogan on his MySpace page. But of course, Joe isn’t the first person to get dragged into a flame war, and I’ve collected five of my favorite online battles from the past:

  • The Grungies This was an email exchange between Judd Apatow (Freaks and Geeks and Undeclared) and Mark Brazill (That ’70s Show). Brazill was angry about something to do with Topher Grace, but then he accuses Apatow of stealing one of his ideas. Best quote: Get cancer. 
  • The Bla Bla Bla: William Korman got angry at Dianna L. Abdala because she notified him by e-mail that she didn’t want to work for him. Her reason: ”The pay you are offering would neither fulfill me nor support the lifestyle I am living." Best quote: bla bla bla 
  • The Ham Sandwich Two secretaries lost their jobs because they got into an online fight about a ham sandwich. Best quote: Let’s not get person [sic] "Miss Can’t Keep A Boyfriend". 

Read more…

…OF THE DAY

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  • POET: Jessica Simpson. She has been writing poetry since her breakup with Nick Lachey and plans to publish her work. (Contact Music)
  • THE OTHER SHOE FALLING: Producers of Crash. Now that the movie is being recognized by the Academy, everyone’s fighting for the credit and money. (New York Times)
  • MOVIE MADE IN TWO HOURS AND FOURTEEN MINUTES: Atbhutam. An Indian film maker finished the 74-minute feature, loosely based on Terri Schiavo’s right-to-die battle, in 2:14. (Reuters)
  • PEZ DISPENSER: Brokeback Mountain. (Ebay via D Listed)
  • THURSDAY PIE BLOGGING FROM AN OBSOLETE STILL THRIVING BLOG: Greenwood’s Holy Sh*t Chocolate by Gawd Cream Pie (Blog d’Elisson)
  • IRONIC HEIMLICH: John Giannetti. The state senator saved the life of a choking man who turned out to be his political rival, Jim Rosapepe. (CNN)
  • K-FED HEAD SHAKER: "My wife is fat" edition. Britney was out the other night and this is reportedly what a waiter said:  "I’m sorry, Ms. Spears, but your husband called here a few minutes ago and told us you weren’t allowed to have dessert. In fact, we’ve been told that no one at the table can have dessert–because you’ll eat it." This can’t be true. Please tell me this can’t be true. (I Don’t Like You That Way)

While You Were Making Dinner Plans

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  • Simpson
    Jessica Simpson
    feels like everybody is out to get her. Not everybody Jess– just straight guys (you’re on the rebound, remember?).
  • Hilary Swank and Chad Lowe are giving their marriage another chance because they don’t want to divide up their pets. It was hard enough explaining to them that "daddy won’t be sleeping over anymore."
  • Robert Downey Jr. thinks they should remake Weird Science. And by "they" he means anybody who will hire him.
  • Fall Out Boy have been playing secret shows under the pseudonym Saved Latin, proving that No, Fall Out Boy is NOT the worst band name they can come up with.
  • Mischa Barton’s boyfriend Cisco Adler asks: "Has Paris nothing better to do than party and row with people?" The short answer?  Well… no. She doesn’t.
  • James Blunt has become the first Brit to reach #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 Chart since Elton John. Somewhere in England, Robbie WIlliams cuts himself just a little.

Is Stacy Keibler Having The Best Week Ever?

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On Sunday, things weren’t going too well for the gorgeous Stacy Keibler. She was the first celebrity elimanted from the Dancing With The Stars finale, and by all accounts her recent run at fame seemed to be over. But then something incredible happened. At almost the exact same time, everybody in the country realized how unbelievably good looking she is. And since we all came to that realization, Stacy has been all over the web.

You really can’t avoid Stacy this week. The photographs taken of Stacy at Wednesday’s GM fashion show were the best pictures taken this side of Lindsay’s nipple. Disgrunteled fans are calling for a dance-off against Jerry Rice. And gossip blogs like The Bastardly are just looking for excuses to post pictures of her… in a good way! She’s the anti-Fergie!

And the best part about Stacy possibly having the best week ever? It gives me an excuse to google image search for her hours to try to decide which picture to use for this post. Thank you Stacy. Thank you.