Finders Keepers

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Lohanspeak

Lindsay Lohan has recently sufferend yet another mishap in the series of unfortunate events that she calls her life – she lost her personal diary.  LiLo and her handlers are terribly concerned that her deepest, most intimate secrets might somehow fall into the wrong hands and further tarnish the starlet’s spotty reputation.

Luckily, the journal fell into the right hands.  Ours.  See some of the juicier excerpts below!

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But Mom, It’s For A Good Cause!

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Girls

A group of 17 year old girls from Eitorf, Germany stripped for a fund-raising calender in order to raise money for their end of year dance.

The girls came up with the idea after the school announced it did not have any money left to pay for one. Headmaster Werner Teubler, 55, said: "I was not happy when I heard what the girls were doing, but you can’t control what they do in their free time."

On a related note, the school has dropped it’s junior and senior math requirements to provide more free time for its students.

Corn Flakes: Your Essential Inessentials

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  • Marilyn Manson is set to play Alice in Wonderland author Lewis Carroll in an upcoming movie. It’ll be the first time Manson ventures through the looking glass as opposed to just snorting rails off it.
  • Lucy Liu is touring Pakistan. Specifically areas of the country that were shaken like a polaroid picture.
  • Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas is set to star as herself in the upcoming film Poseidon. No word yet on whether her lovely lady lumps will make a cameo.
  • Katie Holmes fears for her unborn baby, proving that maybe… just maybe… there’s hope for her yet.
  • Prince Harry will be sent to Iraq next year as a troop commander. Let’s just hope he packs the right uniform.
  • Destiny’s Child reunites! Ladies, how are we supposed to miss you if you don’t go away?
  • Brad Pitt wants a gay movie role. Actually, wait. Brad Pitt starred in Meet Joe Black. That should read "Brad Pitt wants another gay movie role."

Two Women, Unafraid

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Evalongoria_netbeverlyhills2005apr19kits

Last night, activist Cindy Sheehan was arrested for Unlawful Conduct by Capitol police when she wore an anti-war slogan T-shirt to the State of the Union Address.

In related news, actress Eva Longoria was charged with bitchy conduct by Team Aniston when she wore an "I’ll Have Your Baby Brad" Tshirt while shopping on Melrose.

Both women argue for freedom of expression and the desperate desire to reach an audience who may not otherwise be listening.

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Sizzler: More TomKat PDA

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Katietom_1

According to the newest issue of Star Magazine, "Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise, who made a special appearance at the techfest, couldn’t bear to be apart for a moment." "They gave each other little goodbye kisses when they would separate, even for a few feet," says the source.

Meanwhile, other sources close to the couple tell Best Week Ever that it was in fact Katie’s electric collar that was responsible for the couple’s proximity.