While You Were Having a Good Friday


  • Keira
    Tom & Katie’s
    alien baby will be raised a Scientologist. But only because Jews, Christians and Muslims said "no thanks."
  • Keira Knightley thinks Hollywood puts too much pressure on women to stay skinny, and insists that she’s curvy compared to other actresses. By her estimates, the second curviest actress in Hollywood? Dakota Fanning.
  • Robbie Williams will join his old band Take That for a one-off performance during their comeback tour. I know you don’t care, but if you have any friends in England this would be a great conversation starter.
  • David Blaine will live underwater for a week. And if this magic trick doesn’t prove to be as exciting as it sounds, he’ll live on the streets for even longer.
  • Brittany Murphy is making her "grand entrance" into the music biz, collaborating with DJ Paul Oakenfold on a new song (that you can listen to here.) The girl is still Clueless.
  • A federal Grand jury is looking into whether Barry Bonds lied about his steroid use. When reached for comment Bonds said, "Grand… jury… investigation… makes… Bonds… ANGRY!"

Hugh Grant: At Least He’s Warm


Hughgrant_2 British rogue Hugh Grant is claiming that his role in the upcoming controversial film American Dreamz caused him to pack on the pounds. Grant who portrays a harshly critical judge on an American Idol-esque TV show, says during the filming of the movie, "I got fatter than I’ve ever been in my life…"

Based on this recent candid photo of Grant, fat’s the least of his problems. Somewhere, a Minnesotan soccer mom, is walking around wearing his dapper English suit.

Weekend What’s Up?


The past week saw the return of tons of ideas- gas prices, celebrity babies, etc- and a couple new ones, like…oh, who am I kidding? It’s all the same old ones.

…Of The Day


HEADLINE: University Ninja Ambushed by Feds On Way To Dining Hall (MTV News)

BLOG THAT YOU ABSOLUTELY KNEW WAS COMING: Baby Cruise: The Story of TomKat, as told by their soon-to-be-born alien baby. (Baby Cruise)

BORING TOUR ANNOUNCEMENT: The Boredoms are touring North America, Europe. (Pitchfork)

THE "932 COMMENTS AND COUNTING? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" MOMENT: The Banker from Deal or No Deal has a "blog." The one entry consists of the Banker saying "everybody is stupider than me." Nearly a thousand people respond, essentially with a "No you’re not!" Wow. (Deal or No Deal via Pop Candy)

SPAZ: American Idol’s Taylor Hicks was offended when Simon asked him if he was drunk. Can anybody say anything without it being offensive anymore? Morons. (uh-oh) (TMZ)

MUCH APPRECIATION ON BOTH ENDS: Today some people were writing about Kylie Minogue because she’s an inspiration having beat cancer. Others were writing about her perfect ass. We happen to think that she’s beautiful from top to… bottom. (Egotastic & The NY Post, respectively)

Punk’ds that never were, Punk’ds that will be



I love Punk’d and not just because the show’s success allows Viacom to write me a check each week, but also because I get to see how truly despicable my favorite celebrities really are when they think no one’s watching.  Unfortunately, some celebrities like Ryan PhillipeEdward Norton, and A-Rod are so despicable, they won’t let the show air their segments. (Check out this list of punk’ds that will never air here. )

Meanwhile, in a perfect world, where celebrities don’t have to sign release forms, these are the Punk’d scenarios I’d like to see:

  • Sarah Jessica Parker gets her poofy skirt caught in a shredding machine.
  • Tom Cruise is caught looking in the mirror when he thinks he’s alone
  • Katie Couric goes to a party where some one younger and prettier than her is wearing the same outfit
  • Anything that will cause Zach Braff to assault a little kid again

Now it’s your turn. Tell us what punks you’d like to see. Maybe some one with power at MTV is reading this, but we doubt it.

Get Blackballed


Tonight marks the movie event of the summer. Nay. The movie event of your lifetime. Blackballed: The Bobby Dukes Story starring Rob Corddry, Paul Scheer, Rob Riggle, Rob Huebel and Ed Helms gets its theatrical release in New York tonight. Blackballed has already won a whole bunch of awards like the Audience Award at the SXSW Film Festival and the Grand Jury Prize at the IFF in Boston, so you know it’s going to be awesome.

Head over to BobbyDukes.com to learn more about the Legend, check out the trailer, and find out when and where the film is playing near you. And if you’re in New York, click here to get tickets now! Tonight’s show is already sold out, but luckily it’s playing throughout the month, so get on it ASAP.

Click below to get the full Bobby Dukes story, taken from Paul’s Blog.

Read more…

While You Were Waxing Lohan


  • MadonnaguyGuy Richie’s love of judo really annoys wife Madonna.  Meanwhile, Madonna’s love of being a painted-up old whore who refuses to let it go "sorta miffs" husband Richie.
  • Take a break from Googling yourself and your exes for a moment, and Google the secrets of The Da Vinci Code.  Or if you’re bored with that, try doing a search for "shameless corporate cross-promotional whoredom".
  • Well I’ll tell you what I don’t want, what I really really don’t want: a Spice Girls reunion.
  • Stephen "Born-Again" Baldwin is reportedly so angry about a porn store opening in his neighborhood that he’s going to teach those godless heathens a little lesson about worldliness by selling his "Christ-like" $3.4 million mansion
  • In this month’s Esquire magazine, Dave Chappelle continues sitting in the corner of his padded room, babbling on and on about why he left his show 12 years ago. 
  • "Magician" David Blaine is planning yet another attention-seeking public "magic" stunt in his unending quest to pull the affection his father clearly never gave him out of a hat.

Malcolm In The Driver’s Seat


MunizPiper mentioned this Tuesday, but it looks like the official word came down today:

Frankie Muniz has decided to follow in the footsteps of Jason Priestley and… Jason Priestley, by quitting acting to become a full-time race car driver.

The actor signed a two-year deal to race for Jensen Motorsport, meaning that you won’t be getting another Agent Cody Banks movie ’til 2008. At the earliest. Bummer.

Read about it here, via Defamer (who’s "World Cheers As Frankie Muniz Quits Acting For High-Risk Sport" headline made me laugh out loud like an idiot in front of my co-workers.)

Survivor Winner Revealed?



Has the Winner of Survivor Panama been leaked through online betting?

According to Realitytvworld.com, "Bodog.com announced Tuesday that suspicious betting patterns on one of the show’s eight remaining contestants has forced it to halt wagering on Survivor: Panama, the twelfth edition of the long-running CBS reality show." Apparently a friend of the winner has been leaking the information to the public. Find out who probably will win $1 million bucks and get sued for $10 million after the jump.

Read more…