THE BOTOX EFFECT

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You know what the difference is between supporting actress and actress… Botox. The women in this category can all work their foreheads — they were all in the audience, worried, wrinkling their brows… Compare them to Nicole Kidman’s face – which bears an amazing resemblance to the Oscar statue onstage…

Stay off the needle, ladies!!!!

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The Frat Pack Has Officially Taken Over

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The Academy proved tonight that they REALLY ARE hip and in touch. See if you notice a pattern here:
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Starsky & Hutch: Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, Will Ferrell
Anchorman: Will Ferrell, Steve Carrell, Ben Stiller, Luke Wilson
Zoolander: Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, Will Ferrell
Old School: Luke Wilson, Will Ferrell

The 78th Academy Awards? It featured ALL of these guys. That leaves me with two questions:

1. If the Academy loves these guys so much, where was the Best Picture Nomination for Dodgeball?
2. Where the hell is Vince Vaughn???

I’m just travelin’ through…

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I was having SUCH A GOOD TIME… NO ONE WAS SINGING!!! Hanks was Funny, Stiller looked kind of like we all used to look when our parents let us stay up late to watch the oscars…

Do you think that Tim Burton kind of knew he had no chance when they sat him up near the sound board???

Oh… someone’s singing… I LOVE Dolly Parton, but this is no “9 to 5!” Is this REALLY the theme to “Transamerica?” Are they gonna open a new part of Dollywood now?

Stewart makes it work!!!

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Fans of comedy were rooting for Jon… but everyone knows this is the toughest crowd in the world. (“Uma, Oprah”…)

Stewart helld his own, with a bit of a rocky beginning — not because of his jokes, which were great, but because the crowd is so tough. Just look at the cut-aways — Theron, Spielber, even Giamatti was nervous and drumming his fingers. But thanks to two really brilliant film bits (the “who didn’t host” open and the Western montage), he made his own mark… looks good for the rest of the night…

((Only to be topped by George Clooney accepting by improving his own obituary… “Oscar Winner George Clooney…)))

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YOUR GUIDE TO THE ONLINE OSCAR PARTY

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Here’s what you can expect tonight:

We’ll have up-to-the-minute text posts to the blog… there’s going to be a lot of questions for you to comment on, we’re going to really try and keep the conversation going.

You know, for the past month it’s been “Brokeback Sweep” “Brokeback Sweep.” Is anyone else getting cold feet about this??? Are you revising your oscar pool ballots at the last minute?

Every 30 minutes or so, you can expect a video blog from Rob Huebel’s home … really just about 20 minutes away from the Red Carpet! We’re THAT CLOSE!!!

Many of our favorite panelists will be there — we hope you’ll join us!

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GARY BUSEY…

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I was trying to fill out my oscar ballot… more about that later… and i looked up to see Gary talking to Joan… I think Gary kept saying something like “You’re so smart to do this live… you’re so smart to do this live…” and then Joan almost pushed him away, turned to Melissa and said “It can’t get any worse than that…”

Was that what I saw? Anyone else?

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REAL Wal-Mart Fashion Fashion Cam

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Joan Rivers’ TV Guide preview features something called the “Wal-Mart Fashion Cam,” basically just a shot of arriving celebrities. I kind of think, if you were REALLY gonna feature Wal-Mart Fashion… you might want to turn the camera around to the fans on Hollywood Boulevard.
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WORD OF THE NIGHT CONTEST … WIN A BWE HOODIE!

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You KNOW you’re going to be hearing these words tonight…

“Bravery”
“Vision”
“Courage”
“(looking up at the sky) This is for you (grandma, dad, mom, cat)…”
“Agent”
“Jesus”
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Did you know that Mel Gibson knows ALL of those words… in MAYAN? (Mel will be promoting his new film “Apocalypto” by appearing on the Oscars and speaking in Mayan. Ironically, his father will be on Australian radio at the same time, denying that the Mayans ever happened.)

Submit your nominee for WORD OF THE NIGHT … we’ll send the winner a beautiful Best Week Ever Hoodie!

Words you probably won’t hear tonight:

“Full refund for anyone who saw Aeon Flux”
“We wish we could give you those two hours back…”
“Sorry”
“Stupid”
“Pointless”
“God Bless the President”