))(( Back and Forth. Forever.

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Rogan
Some poor 20 year-old college student learned a very important lesson today when he made the mistake of sending comedian/reality star Joe Rogan the following MySpace message: 

"Joe Rogan, I hate you…you’re not funny…"

This message, the type one imagines most every public figure receives countless times daily, apparently caused something to snap inside Rogan, as the Fear Factor host launched into an increasingly brutal series of  back-and forth "You’re lame! No, you’re lame!" MySpace messages. 

A few things I learned: 1) Joe Rogan is richer and more successful than the college student.  2) Joe Rogan was a kickboxing champion.  3) Never – EVER – send a nasty MySpace message to Joe Rogan.

Read the entire unedited textual maiming after the jump.

Read more…

While You Were Watching the Best Week Ever Podcasts

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  • Cheryl loved riding her Dancing with the Stars partner Drew Lachey so much, she’d like to try his brother out.
  • Jessica’s two men, Adam Levine and Nick Lachey, cross paths, don’t notice.
  • Christian Slater refuses to take of his hat because of a lousy haircut. They accidentally shaved off his hairline.
  • Vote Donald Trump for President, not pedro.
  • Superman’s Brandon Routh to be honored at Showest. Shouldn’t he do something first?
  • America loves The Simpsons. So-so about the First Amendment.

Oscar Week: Get to Know Your Best-Actress Nominees

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Match the nominee to a little-known fact (answers after the jump):
1. Reese Witherspoon (Walk the Line) 2. Charlize Theron (North Country) 3. Judi Dench (Mrs. Henderson Presents) 4. Keira Knightley (Pride & Prejudice) 5. Felicity Huffman (Transamerica

A. She was to play "Grizabella" in CATS, but an ailment forced her out.
B. Nickname is Little Miss Type A.
C.
Her dream came true when she got to sing backup to her idol Tina Turner on Oprah.
D. She has dyslexia and had to wear special glasses in adolescence to help her read.
E. After moving to Hollywood, she became furious when she learned that
the bank could not cash a check because it was an out-state check.
She made a scene, and an agent gave her his card.

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SIZZLER: Travis a Bachelor Again?

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We know you were swept away by the romance of the Bachelor: Paris Finale. From the moment Travis Stork, the handsome MD from Tennessee chose the handsome Sarah Stone, a kindergarten teacher also from Tennessee, we knew they’d be together forever. They built bonds that couldn’t be broken on their group dates. And experienced a chemistry that no one could match that night alone with only the Bob and Tim–the camera guys– to share their ecstasy. Travis even gave her a ring-necklace as a symbol of his undying like. So could it be true that Sarah is dating some one else? How could she just throw away their future of passion, product endorsements and at home spreads in In Touch Weekly? She must not know what really love is.

Now He’s Cookin’

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Danecook
Comedian Dane Cook has signed a multi-project deal with HBO to develop series, specials and other projects.
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You can click the link to learn more, or you can just wait until Dane posts a MySpace bulletin about this. Because you know he will. Come on. You know he will.

Well, this is good news for comedy fans. I think Dane has what it takes to put together a good show. In fact, I’m calling it right now: whatever Dane Cook ends up doing for HBO, you’ll be hearing white guys in buttoned down shirts quoting it instantaneously.

You’ve been warned.

The Daily Danza

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Guests on today’s Tony Danza Show: a lemur, a penguin and a venomous snake. Take that Ellen!

Inside The (Porn) Actor’s Studio

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Now THIS is the show Bravo should be airing. Forget about James Lipton and his boring snooty "professional" actors. Give me comedian Zach Galifianakis interviewing a porn star any day of the week. Watch the video… and take notes. It’s funny and informative.

For a safe-for-work photograph of the Vivid girl being interviewed, Monique Alexander (probably not her real name), click below.

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WHILE YOU WERE PRACTICING YOUR TARZAN YELL

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  • Carol Burnett will appear on Desperate Housewives as Bree’s "cold stepmother." They sure like their 70s icons on that show, which is lucky, because so do I.
  • Was Nick Lachey‘s girlfriend, Lizzie Arnold, Miss Kentucky 2001 or not? He’s going to feel like a boob if she’s not.
  • The Academy will allow the members of Three 6 Mafia to use the word "bitches" during their performance of "It’s Hard Out Here for a Pimp" Sunday’s Oscars. This will also be the first hip-hop performance in the show’s history. Welcome to 1984, Academy!
  • Busta Rhymes sued by a former fan who claims the rapper assaulted him after he asked for an autograph. In Busta’s defense, the guy borrowed a pen and started to walk off with it.
  • Crash has won Most Profane Film of the Year from "movie-watchdog group" Family Media Guide. It contains contains 182 expletives, 62 incidents of violence, 16 incidences containing sexual content, and 1 appearance by Tony Danza.
  • Pamela Anderson will soon be taking singing lessons to get into shape for her song in the film adaptation of Baywatch. Reality series, anyone?