While You Were Mailing Your Rent Check

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  • Gandolfini
    James Gandolfini
    has made the decision to pretend that he got fat for a role. I respect that.
  • Madonna has been added to the Coachella festival lineup. Indie rock nerds act ironically excited, while Madonna fans openly wonder what the Coachella festival is.
  • Travis The Bachelor is a bachelor again after giving Sarah the boot. I guess what happened in Paris stayed in Paris.
  • Courtney Cox Arquette is coming back to TV.  After Joey and The Comeback, she wants to prove that bad shows come in 3′s.
  • Bon Jovi is baffled by Jennifer Lopez’s musical success. You know, if it wasn’t for that head of hair I’d say Bon Jovi is a pretty okay guy.
  • Crash features the most curse words out of this year’s Best Picture nominees. Though they’re mostly spoken by people leaving the theater asking, "Wait… that f***ing movie is up for best picture???"

“Grey’s Anatomy” and Icky Sex

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Still disturbed by watching George and Meredith having sex? A Grey’s Anatomy writer explains why it had to happen at the show’s blog (using lots of CAPS and exclamation marks!!!):

The
sex HAD to happen. It was always going to happen. Hello. Shonda set this moment
up in the PILOT. George remembered the kind of strappy sandals Meredith was
wearing at the pre-internship mixer!!!  Did you really really think this
moment – this FREAKY GEORGE AND MEREDITH SEX – was never gonna happen???

Read more…

SIZZLER: Lil Hub’s on his way

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Tomcruisepregnantkatieholmes01744379_2 According to Celebrity Weekly magazine, Tom wants to name his forthcoming child Hubbard after Scientology founder, L. Ron Hubbard.  The magazine reports "Tom loves to rub Katie’s belly and say hi to his ‘Little Hub.’" Now that the Scientology headquarters have been moved from Clearwater Florida to Katie’s belly, the sentiment has even more meaning.

Read more…

Make Your Own Oscar Speech

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USA Today (scroll down to "related item") has an
amusing feature that allows you to create your own Oscar speech. You choose
levels of gesture, emotion, catch phrases, political content, and thank yous,
and then an animated microphone(!) delivers your speech. Sadly, there’s no Sally
Field
, Roberto Benigni, Cher costume, or streaker level. I know my speech would include a streaker.

Are Dumb Kids Having The Best Week Ever?

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I’m just going to come right out and say it: Dumb Kids are having the best week ever. And no, I’m not even talking about the dumb college kids in New Orleans lifting up their shirts for beads and Midvale
ultimately appearing in Girls Gone Wild. I’m talking about the REALLY dumb kids.

Like the 7-year-old girl who brought 18 bags of cocaine to school yesterday and shared them with her friends. What was she thinking? You can’t just go handing out freebies, how do you expect to ever make your money back? Come on kid, do the math.

Or how about the 12-year-old boy who stuck a piece of gum to a $1.5 million painting in Detroit? He smeared his wad of Wrigleys Polar Ice gum onto Helen Frankenthaler’s "The Bay," which doesn’t make any sense at all. If you’re trying to ruin a piece of art work, why not hold out for something more recognizable? Like "The Scream" or "Water Lilies"?

Finally, Dumb Kids are getting the recognition they deserve this week thanks to Adrianne Frost’s new book "I Hate Other People’s Kids." You know, after reading those two stories, I don’t think she needs to elaborate on that. It makes sense. Dumb Kids are having the best week ever.

While You Were Working Out with Nick Lachey

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  • TMZ uncovers footage of boy band 98 degrees that’s been buried for years. Well by buried they mean taped over.
  • What’s big and orange and has no front teeth? The new James Bond.
  • Lindsay Lohan walks the runway for Oscar fashion week protected by a red bracelet. Homeless man walks city streets protected by a blue thermos.
  • George Clooney hearts Terri Hatcher. Terri Hatcher hearts botox.
  • Patrick Dempsey reveals troubled past as a dyslexic on tonight’s Barbara Walters special. Also Matthew McConaughy reveals little league heartbreak.
  • Olympic star Athletes Sascha Cohen and Shaun White finally meet. Unfortunately people stopped caring about them on Tuesday.
  • Nick Lachey wants to spot you.

Oscar Week: Get to Know Your Best-Actor Nominees

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Here’s one interesting fact about each Best Actor nominees that you probably don’t know:

  • Phillip Seymour Hoffman (Capote)
    Was a "celebrated athlete," playing baseball and football and wrestling until he had to quit because of a neck injury that forced him to quit. But as you know, he still keeps in shape.
  • Terrence Howard
    (Hustle & Flow) Has a degree in Chemical Engineering. If he’s so smart, then why was he in Glitter?
  • Heath Ledger
    (Brokeback Mountain) Taught himself to dance, and choreographed a "60-strong Guildford team to the first all-boy victory at the Rock Eisteddfod, a national competition." I know what you’re thinking, but we don’t do jokes like that anymore.
  • David Strathairn
    (Good Night, and Good Luck) Went to Ringling Brothers Clown College and worked as a clown for six months in a traveling circus. I wondered why his Edward R. Murrow did so much juggling.
  • Joaquin Phoenix
    (Walk the Line) Is the brother of the late River Phoenix. That’s a BWE Blog exclusive!

Detachment From (Virtual) Reality

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You HAVE to check out this guy’s hilarious, highly-infomative post on the phenomenon of fantasy gamers using their REAL MONEY to buy VIRTUAL GOLD for games like EverQuest and World of Warcraft.  In fact, based on the US dollar values of their currency, the World of Warcraft‘s "virtual economy" ranks right between the REAL economies of Russia and Bulgaria. 

At one point reaching 65 cents to the dollar, this new "fools gold" actually became so valuable that businessmen began hiring low-paid workers to play the game in order to "farm" gold that would later be sold to more serious gamers, unintentionally driving down the prices of the virtual gold they were trying to sell.

So here’s your BWE investment tip of the day: buy online gold that doesn’t exist while prices are still low!