SIZZLER: Farrell’s Playmate Making Bank

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Colin_farrell_i_s_w_a_4177c_1 The Smoking Gun has revealed that Playboy Playmate Nicole Narain–the woman who bedded Colin Farrell by camcorder light–may score $3 Million from an internet porn outfit for her part in the X-rated home movie.   The payday hinges on whether she’ll win the case against Farrell and be granted distribution rights.

The way we see it, if Farrell could pocket $8 million for f*cking up bad guys in S.W.A.T, Narain is entitled to at least $3 million for f*cking up Farrell’s career.

Is Chico Having the Best Week Ever?

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Who is Chico you say? Well, he’s a former goat herder and male stripper and it just so happens he "has sold twice as many records as Madonna in recent weeks to become the first Arab to top the British pop singles chart since records began 44 years ago." From goat herder and male stripper to having the number one single in Britain? Yeah, I think Chico qualifies as a candidate for Best Week Ever.

IN CASE YOU MISSED IT: Madonna’s Uncensored Video ‘Sorry’

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Madonna’s new video Sorry was supposed to be so racy in it’s first incarnation that it had to be censored for MTV. We got a hold of the original, uncensored version and between the candy colored makeup and the boozey-make out sessions in the back of a trailer cruising down the LA streets, the video was about as titillating as The Fifth Wheel. In fact I think it was an episode of The Fifth Wheel. (via IDLYITW)

WHILE YOU WERE IN A TABLOID COMA

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  • Mary J. Blige doesn’t want to hear Liza Minnelli‘s cover of her 2001 hit “Family Affair.” See the stars are just like us! (J.K. Liza.)
  • George Clooney has donated his bag of Oscar goodies to an auction to raise money for the victims of Hurricane Katrina. Just what they needed: A bottle of Kristal and Kiehl’s gift certificate.
  • It’s being reported that Reese Witherspoon is mad about the rumors that she is having marriage problems because it overshadowed her Oscar win. She supposedly said, "I’m the highest-paid actress in history, and this crap isn’t going to bring me down!’” But she said it with the sweetest smile you ever saw.
  • Lucy Liu says that America is in a "tabloid coma." Funny, I thought we were in more of a Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle coma.
  • Kanye West is scheduled to headline Lollapalooza this August. Who says alternative music is dead?
  • Christina Aguilera and Shakira were reportedly paid £580,000 each to sing at a Russian billionaire’s birthday. That’s a lot of £!

Neighborhoodies Butterface

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I’m sure you’ve noticed a lot of ads for custom T-shirt companies (like Neighborhoodies) where you see some funny slogan featured atop a pair of large, shapely breasts. But it seems like a lot of the ads don’t show the model’s head. Well, you can finally see what she looks like. See this Best Week Ever exclusive after the jump…

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IN CASE YOU MISSED IT: Matt & Trey on Letterman

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Trey Parker & Matt Stone dropped by The Late Show with David Letterman last night to talk about the new season of South Park… and more importantly, about Isaac Hayes and Chef-Gate. Watch the video to hear their side of the story.

Commentary: TV Gives Up Hope with ‘The Loop

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The TV used to believe in us, it used to give us hope for a better life with bigger windows, more expensive furniture and lots of free time.  You had the Friends, who lived in multi-million dollar lofts on their waitress-caterer budget. And the office-buddies at Just Shoot Me and Suddenly Susan,  who spend their days in colorful, couch-heavy offices with large kitchens and friendships that went beyond the work day.   

But these days we’ve gotten less optimistic in our portrayal of 20-something life on TV. Want proof?

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While You Were Watching Basketball At Work

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    Jessica Simpson
    says "thanks… but no thanks" to meeting President Bush. She figured it’d be cool, but not nearly as cool as the time she met Johnny Knoxville and those hilarious Jackass guys.
  • Members of the Three 6 Mafia have been spotted carrying around their Oscar in a paper bag. Which makes sense considering they usually leave their 40 oz’s on the mantlepiece.
  • Fergie was obsessed with The Exorcist when she was a kid.  Naturally. Only somebody truly demonic could write a song like "My Humps."
  • Remember Tom Green? Yeah, he just broke two ribs in a fishing accident. He ranks it as the third worse thing to happen to his body, right behind cancer and Drew Barrymore.
  • Phil Collins has split from his wife after six years of marriage. It’s yet to be reported whether he broke things off with her by fax or by email.
  • Michael Jackson is one step closer to re-opening Neverland. Which means he’s one step closer to re-opening some other things as well.