Sharon Stone Is To Orangutan As Russell Crowe Is To…


russell crowe.jpgNormally I’d be all for making fun of Sharon Stone. But there’s something about Russell Crowe doing it that makes me want to jump to her defense. Check out what Russell said about the falling Basic Instinct 2 star and her forever-youthful look:

“A lot seems to have changed. When are you not you any more? At what point do you have to get a name change too? You can end up looking like a startled chimpanzee. The eyes are gone, the lips are like rubber tires – or more like an orangutan that has been kicked in the a**e.”

I’m not going to let Russell get away with this. So here’s my question: If Sharon Stone resembles an orangutan, what does that make Russell Crowe? I think I’m going with Manatee. What about you? Any living creature in the animal kingdom is fair game. Throw your answers in the Comments!

SIZZLER: Shields Sends Gift to Cruise


cruise-shieldsAccording to Mike Walker of the National Enquirer, Brooke Shields sent an olive branch to Tom Cruise as a kind of truce after their ongoing public battle over postpartum depression. The stars, who had babies in the same hospital only hours apart, have sparred in the media over their approaches to treating the disease.

But Brooke thinks sending Tom an olive branch in the mail will show him she wants to make amends. And that’s just the beginning, for his wedding she plans to send him four blades of grass and a worm.

She also included a card that read: “At times like this, when you have so much to be thankful for, I would like to personally welcome your daughter Suri into the world, and congratulate you both.” Actually that was already printed on the card. She just wrote “Love, Brooke”.

BWE: Dare To Air Promos (part 1)


A little while back the folks here at BWE had an idea: What if we get some great indie filmmakers to go out and shoot promos for Best Week Ever? What would they come up with? How far out would they go? How many of them would get arrested? Etcetera.

Well, needless to say we got some great submissions and we want to share them all with you. In the end, we’re going to ask you to vote for your favorites. Here’s the first one from Enjoy.

POLL: Bad News Britney


britneypress.jpgHot Online News is reporting that Britney Spears has scheduled a press conference in LA this Thursday, May 4th with record executives and select members of the media. Early rumors are indicating that the pop princess is going to make some kind of big announcement, possibly addressing her recently rocky relationship with Kevin Federline, rumors of baby #2, and who knows what else.

Take our poll and let us know what burning secret you think Britney is dying to tell us!

Rosie Blogs About Her New Boss


rosie.jpgFuture View host Rosie O’Donnell has a new poem on her site about her ardor for boss Barbara Walters. In the poetic post, O’Donnell says Walters is in her “4 u anything – file.”

No, it’s not a new pop song by Ashley Parker Angel, it’s Rosie’s way of saying she’ll do anything for Walters, even sign a multi-million dollar contract and return to network TV. What a gal. But while Walters is in her ’4 u anything file,’ based on her last poem , co-host Star Jones in her ‘u fat liar’ file.

PROPPED UP: Is Fresno Having the Best Week Ever?


fresno-postcard.jpgWell, BWE reader Mike Oz certainly seems to think so. His impassioned plea for you to pay attention to his agricultural town points out the myriad reasons he’s so convinced Fresno is having its Best Week Ever. He’s even gone so far as to Drop It and send a copy of his treatise to us via MySpace message.

Basically Fresno is K-Fed’s hometown, and he’s got a new album and a possibly a new baby on the way. Also a bunch of other random stuff happened in the local Fresno news.

So please, for the sake of our inbox, take Fresno under consideration as a candidate for Best Week Ever.

PROPPED: Nick vs. Lindsay– Catfight!


lachey.jpgWe have to give props to ThirdWheel for Dropping this gem. During a recent radio interview, everybody’s favorite Desperate Ex-Husband Nick Lachey took a shot at Mean Girl Lindsay Lohan. Lindsay recently commented that the next time she sees Nick out she’s going to “attack him” because “he’s such a dog… he’d go for it.” well, this dog bites. Here’s Nick’s response:

“I can safely say that I don’t have any interest in Lindsay Lohan… nor do I understand anyone else who does.”

I don’t know what’s better, Nick’s swipe at L-Lo or the corny radio DJ’s fake laugh and “I hear ya man!” Funny on so many levels. You can listen to the whole thing here. Then head over to the Drop It section and drop something of your own!

While You Were Downgrading Wilmer


nicole and the bowl

  • Jake Gyllenhaal claims he’ll wear a Santa’s hat on his penis to win a film role. In fact he’ll do anything to land the lead in Sex the Halls or Christmas with the Yanks.
  • Pam Anderson wants advertisers to stop using apes in commercials. They’re taking work from big-breasted women.
  • Andy Dick gets in a bar fight in Pennsylvania. At least that’s what he’s calling it, now that he’s back in L.A. and far from the guy who kicked his ass.
  • Nicole Richie’s sidekick has everything she needs. And we don’t mean the handheld one.

UPGRADE/DOWNGRADE: Unlikely Lotharios


fez.jpgDuring last week’s examination of Heather Locklear’s romance resume, I was left scratching my head over how many losers the stunning blonde had offered entrance into her bedroom, thus begging the further question: Who are Hollywood’s Most Unlikely Ladies Men?

Use your best judgement of character to tell us which of these schlubs have “a really good personality” (UPGRADE) and which ones have “a really good supply of roofies” (DOWNGRADE).

PROPPED: The Blaine in the Bubble


drownedalive-popbytes1.jpgProps to Popbytes who left this exclusive picture of David Blaine in speedos training for his next big stunt in our Drop It section. In case you haven’t heard, the master illusionist is planning to spend a week on display in a globe-shaped aquarium. He’s been training all week and so far he’s only blacked out once. Sure it’s no easy feat, but I think Wayne Coyne already did this stunt at Coachella a couple years back, and he managed to wear a suit.