IN DEFENSE OF: Tomkat

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As you surely know by now, Tom Cruise is considering suing Life&Style magazine for running a story that he is splitting with his fiance, Katie Holmes. Of course, people doubted the relationship from the beginning: he just wanted a baby (here), she was brainwashed (here, here), he’s gay (here, here, here, here, here). But what really gets me is the notion that they are together for publicity. Perhaps you’ve noticed, but the publicity that the marriage has generated has not been what I would call positive. And maybe you remember that Cruise was married to another tall beautiful actress that didn’t exactly quiet the rumors about his sexuality. And why would a budding star like Katie Holmes want to be eclipsed by one of the biggest stars in the world who, by the way, tons of people say is gay? What is worse for a career than being in a relationship that the public doesn’t like or believe? It just doesn’t make any sense at all. The only conclusion that I can draw is that Tom and Katie are legit and if there has been any brainwashing going on, it’s been done by Cupid.

While You Were Deciding Who You Could Sue and Why

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  • Jake Gyllenhaal swapped numbers with Mischa Barton at a recent party. Strangely, they both share the number 555-5555.
  • The Killers are being sued for $16 million– surprisingly however not by the Cure.
  • Katie Holmes breaks her parents hearts when she confirms she won’t be going to college after all. Oh and she’s having satan’s spawn.
  • Lindsay Lohan makes the Flying Tomato go splat. 
  • Nick Nolte said no to Superman, Rambo and Indiana Jones.  Yes to Prince of Tides.
  • Best Week Ever panelists are funny 24/7.

…OF THE DAY

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HEADLINE: "Spider-Man Robs Comic Book Store" – Be sure to watch the hilarious video! (CBS)Spiderman

HEADLINE RUNNER-UP: "Man’s shirt erupts in flames after he is shot by a taser" (Sun Sentinel)

SALES PLOY: Hiring pop singers to perform concerts to sell condos (NY Times)

PRETENTIOUS PITCHFORK ORGASM: They gave Liars’ new album a 9.0 and made up a new adjective in the process: "Berliniamsburg".  (Pitchfork)

SHIRTLESS MYSPACE BRO: "UR NOT HERE BY ACCIDENT" – Indeed.  (MySpace)

POT CALLING THE KETTLE BLACK: Trump calls Martha a "moron".  (Daily News)

Is Sandy Lakdar Having The Best Week Ever?

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Last week Sandy Lakdar was a no-name French actress with a virtually unwittnessed MySpace profile. But after she was photographed with her arm around K-Fed this week homegirl got to add a million friends. But what we love most about Sandy is that she’s getting famous off a guy who got famous off a girl  who’s actually famous. Which makes her famous twice removed. Which makes her still more famous than us.

CAPTION THIS: Nicky Hilton and Richie Rich

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See how long you can look at this photo of socialite Nicky Hilton and androgynous clothing designer/party monster Richie Rich before your eyes simply refuse to stop working:

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"What seeing a Captain & Tennille show on LSD would look like."

ALSO: What happened to the Richie Rich we all knew and loved?

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While You Were Shopping for a New African Drum

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You may have forgotten to treat the skins for your drums, but we didn’t forget to collect all the good stuff that’s going on around the world:

  • The Killers‘ former manager is suing the band for $16 million for breach of contract. In court papers, he was quoted as saying, "It started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this?"
  • Roger Moore is standing up for new 007 Daniel Craig. But who will stand up for Roger Moore?
  • Nicole Richie was seen holding hands with her ex-fiance, Adam Goldstein aka DJ AM. This better work, because I’m still reeling from the failed Charlie Sheen/Denise Richards reconciliation.
  • Some are asking, "Where were the naked men on that Vanity Fair cover?" Publisher is still laughing at the question.
  • There’s an article about a really cool network that everyone loves. It’s the best article ever.
  • So was Lindsay Lohan with Shaun "Flying Tomato" White or Jonathan "Tiny Elvis" Rhys Meyers?

While You Were Thinking About Life’s Important Questions

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  • Did KFed actually hit on Jessica Simpson?  Has his marriage to Britney Spears completely destroyed his sense of "his league"?
  • Also, is KFed cheating on Britney with some French chick?  Also, HOW THE F@!K IS KFED GETTING SO MANY WOMEN!?!?
  • Does Mischa Barton have the hots for Jake Gyllenhaal?  Does she mind that he’s gay?
  • Is Will Smith thinking of moving on to Bollywood?  Should we expect him to begin unexpectedly breaking into song and wearing bright colored clothing?
  • Is Steven Spielberg making another Jurassic Park movie?  Why?  (Dinosaurs are scary – we get it already!)
  • Are J. Lo and Marc Anthony going to adopt a child?  Should the world allow children to be treated that way?

LISTEN UP: Your Daily Dose of the Best Music Ever

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  • Yeahyeahyeahss
    I’m in a great mood today, because tonight I’m going to see the Yeah Yeah Yeahs in Hoboken. Badminton Stamps has their song "Pin" ready for download, as well as some other cool tunes by The Strokes, Editors, and stellastarr*.
  • Stereogum loves you. To prove it, he posted the track "I Love You" by Cat Power and Jack White’s supermodel wife Karen Elson.
  • Can’t get enough of Ryan Adams? (If you answered ‘No!’, I have to ask: what’s wrong with you? The guy put out 3 albums last year. Stop being so greedy). An Aquarium Drunkard has a bunch of unreleased material, and it’s good. Real good.
  • Listen, if an mp3 blog posts a Traveling Wilburys song– like Locust St. did today– I’m going to have to link it. That’s just the way it is.
  • Live, The Refreshments, and Alice in Chains? Yeah, why not. Thanks to Muppetpastor 3.0, I feel 16 again… and I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or not.