While You Were Mainlining Espresso

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  • Singer George Michael was arrested for possession of controlled substances.  Police also found a large stash of porn, sex toys and sex masks in the trunk of the vehicle.  Michael was reportedly furious that the officers wouldn’t allow him to take these "jail supplies" into his cell.
  • Kate Moss is now more wealthy than she was before her recent cocaine scandal.  See kids, if you work hard, follow your dreams, and hoover up as much blow as possible, you too can enjoy fame and fortune.
  • Homophobic Clay Aiken fans reportedly want their money back now that they’ve discovered the singer might be gay.  Aiken reps responded with the statement, "What part of flamboyant, girlish, Broadway-obsessed pop singer do you people not understand?"
  • Drew Lachey managed to win "Dancing With the Stars" despite not being a star.
  • Ryan Seacrest managed to make out with a stripper, despite seeming like he actually might be probably sort of gay.
  • Mischa Barton: "I’m not sexy."  Alex Blagg: "Yes, yes you are."

SIZZLER: George Michael Not Woken Up Before He Could Go Go

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George Michael was arrested on suspicion of possessing drugs’ yesterday after he was found passed out in his car. Police found weed, ‘liquid ecstasy’ and a cache of pornographic masks and toys in his car. The police reportedly discovered Michael in his car "with his head slumped against the wheel"–an improvement from his last arrest in 1998 when he was found slumped against something else. 

“Grey’s Anatomy”: The Karma Episode

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Grays_anatomy_3 First off, Meredith is just such a bad person sometimes, but if Dr. Shepherd corners her in an elevator one more time, she should punch him. Of course, if she buys that “let’s be friends” business, she deserves whatever she gets. Second, what does it say about Addison that it took poison oak in the vajajay for me to finally like her? And what does it say about me? I wonder if George is going to really hook up with Dr. Torres. In my opinion, she’s too much woman for him, but I’d like for him to have someone who respects him for a change. But I have to say, George, that if you’re in bed with a woman and she cries, getting mad is not the appropriate response. Finally, I can’t believe that woman would leave Milos to die! Now if anyone deserves a little poison oak in the vajayay it’s her. Can’t wait till next week!

…OF THE DAY

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HEADLINE: "Jessica Alba officially sexy" – Who knew? (Female First) Alba_1

DISTURBING CATCHPHRASE: "Fixin’ to do an R. Kelly" (All Headline News)

DISTURBING R. KELLY ACOLYTE: This complete weirdo who "hides in bathrooms, and drinks people’s urine." (NBC4 – if you’re brave enough)

EMERGED CAVE DWELLER: Illinois Governor – and apparently his staff – who didn’t realize The Daily Show was a comedy spoof.  (AP)

ROCK STARS SAY THE DARNDEST THINGS: "Crack makes me happy," said addled rocker Pete Doherty.  Yes, Pete – it makes you happy because IT’S CRACK! (Mirror)

EMBRACING YOUR OWN STEREOTYPE: Some pothead forgot to address a package he mailed containing half a pound of weed.  Might wanna lay of the doobage there, bro.  (AP)

RANDOM BLOG: The Sound of Young America (TSOYA)

SHIRTLESS MYSPACE BRO: "Live like you mean it…"  Or like a douche.  Either way, Eddie.  (MySpace)

Tranny or Demi?

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One of these people is "the man formerly known as Wladimiro Guadagno, the organizer of Italy’s gay pride parades and star of an upcoming film [who] wants to be taken serious…as a real-life politician for Italy’s main communist party." One is a movie star who has been married to Bruce Willis. Can you tell which is which?

BWE’s Winter Olympics Correspondent: David Wain

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Can’t get enough of the Olympics? Well, that makes 1 of you. Either way, you have to check out this hilarious David Wain video. You’ll learn more about death cookies and peely snow than you ever thought you would. You’ll see.

While You Were Preparing for a Night of Pure, Unadulterated, Off-the-Hook Couch-Sitting

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John Lydon Says Hall No!

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2008542_1According to Yahoo!, the Sex Pistols will not show up for their induction to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Here’s what John Lydon wrote (and scanned) to the Filth and the Fury:

Next to the SEX PISTOLS rock and roll and that hall of fame is a piss stain. Your museum. Urine in wine. Were not coming. Were not your monkey and so what? Fame at $25,000 if we paid for a table, or $15,000 to squeak up in the gallery, goes to a non-profit organisation selling us a load of old famous. Congratulations.

I love a load of old famous myself, but I respect his position.

 

Celebrity Blog Watch: Guess Who!

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It’s time once again to play everybody’s favorite online game revolving around celebrities and their blogs… Guess Who! I’m going to put a couple of lines from a celebrity blog, and you’re going to have to try to guess who said it. The answer is after the jump. So, you think you’re ready? Here we go:

Anyone can funk and go to war, we all got soldiers but it takes real
men to make peace. Peace may not sell these squares’ magazines but it
can save a community and bring prosperity to our people.

Was it: 

a) Rosie O’Donnell
b) Serj Tankian (from System of A Down)
c) Anderson Cooper
d) MC Hammer

Read more…

Movie Poster Mash-Ups!

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The always-amusing Worth 1000 site has launched a new contest called "Mate-A-Movie", inviting their best choppers to combine the posters of two iconic films.  Hilarity ensues:

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