Paris Hilton: My Favorite Mistake

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Here’s an update about Paris Hilton’s nascent musical career:

IT appears sexy socialite Paris Hilton is taking her singing career very seriously…. Warner has put millions behind Paris and are [sic] making her an international priority act for the spring. She has drafted in the incredible writing powers of Cathy Dennis, who penned chart-toppers Toxic for Britney and Can’t Get You Out Of My Head for Kylie Minogue. Her debut album is set to feature a track called My Mistake – recorded about the famous sex footage of the heiress and her boyfriend which took the internet by storm.

I’m pulling for Paris to succeed. Let’s hope she doesn’t blow it.

Emimen’s Super Bowl Wingding

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Don’t have anybody to watch the Super Bowl with? How about Eminem:

Fans of rap superstar Eminem’s Shady Records will get a chance to party with the label during Super Bowl weekend. Public tickets for the Feb. 4 "Shady Bowl Super Party," which cost $30-$100, go on sale Friday. It had previously been uncertain whether the party would be open to the public, the Detroit Free Press reported.

I hear he makes really good hot wings. And don’t forget his mom’s award-winning spaghetti.

Sizzler: Megan Mullally Gets Her Own Talk Show

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Will and Grace’s Megan Mullally is preparing to launch her very own talk show in the Fall. According CNN: "The Megan Mullally Show" will include comedic and musical elements, skits, field segments and a band. Executive producer Corin Nelson… said that "Megan Mullally" will be all about making both viewers and guests feel comfortable."

I hope she gets to flirt with M&M’s while singing a musical number. That always makes me feel comfortable.

Today in Celebrity Conception

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In 1958, the parents of Viggo Mortensen tried and failed to conceive the future Lord of the Rings star. The failure was attributed to the appearance of a wraith who had been commanded by an all-seeing flaming eye as well as the chronic headache problems his mother was suffering from at the time. She had some lembas, and Viggo was conceived the next day. Later that year, Elvish released "Jailhouse Rock" but entered the army and was sent to Mordor.

Successfully conceived today: John Lithgow (1945), Evander Holyfield (1962), Jon Favreau (1966), Amy Carter (1967), Trey Parker (1969)

Have You Seen Me Lately?

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Then: Max Battimo played the role of Zack Morris’ best friend Mikey on the Saved by the Bell prequel (sorta), "Good Morning Miss Bliss." When Zack, Lisa, and Screech graduated junior high and inexplicably moved to Bayside, California together, Mikey was left behind. He hasn’t been heard from since.

Now: According to imdb.com, Max is a hockey ref for the ECHL and his nickname is Italy Max. He also stereotypically owns an Italian food chain. Below is an artist’s rendition of what Max "Mikey" Battimo probably looks like today.

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Our work here is done. Who else do you want us to locate? No ex-celebrity is too obscure… we’ll get ‘em!

Hide the Children!

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In this installment of Hide the Children!, actress Meg Ryan adopts a baby girl from China, becoming the latest celebrity to kidnap rescue a child from the horrors of a normal life.   

Coming soon – Save the Children: the Hottest Adoption Boutique on Rodeo Drive.

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