Last week on the subway I saw the very first ads for Comedy Central’s newest original series, Dog Bites Man. I’ve got to say, I’m not the biggest fan of the network that brought us comedy gems like Blue Collar Comedy and Mind of Mencia, but this show looks really funny. First of all, the cast includes the under-appreciated comedy genius that is Zach Galifianakis, who thus far hasn’t achieved any real breakout success despite being one of the funniest human beings on the planet. From the producer of Da Ali G Show, the mockumentary-style show lampoons a hapless local news team portrayed by performers from the Upright Citizen’s Brigade and Stella. While these folks don’t have the most successful TV-ratings resumes in the world, the ingredients for original, irreverent comedy are definitely there. Dog Bites Man doesn’t premiere for a couple weeks, so in the meantime check out a video preview here.
Buried a few paragraphs into Blender magazine’s otherwise pointless interview with 80’s hair metal godess Tawny Kitaen, is this interesting little nugget of gossip regarding Laguna Beach’s 15 minutes-of-famer Kristin Cavallari:
“I owned a store called Tawny K. We were painting on a Sunday and I get this call from these four girls from Laguna. Theyâ€™re begging me to please just let them see the store. So I did. When they start to leave, I get this feeling somethingâ€™s wrong. My boyfriend stops one girl and sheâ€™s got merchandise in her purse. The three other girls start hauling ass. I call the cops and when the girls come back, theyâ€™ve got pants, underwear, tops. They take them to jail, handcuffed, the whole thing. I donâ€™t press charges. Cut-fade, two weeks ago, thereâ€™s a split picture of Jessica on one side and this girl, Kristin, from Laguna Beach, on the other and my daughter is like, ‘Oh my God. She was the one who stole from your store.’ And now sheâ€™s this big thing.”
Let that serve as a warning to all boutiques, jewelry stores and Abercrombies in Laguna Beach – now that Kristin is realizing she’s not going to be the famous movie star she’d hoped, her fingers might start to get pretty sticky again…
We’re in TV purgatory right now. The shows we’ve been following all year are over. The summer shows haven’t started up yet. And tonight, the networks are running scared thanks to the final episode of American Idol. So what else do we have to choose from? Not much. TV Land is airing a show about our favorite TV Cars (I’m voting for KITT), Dr. Phil has another prime time special on CBS titled Escaping Addiction II (I’m voting for Addiction), and Top Chef is finally picking a winner (I’m voting for avoiding it). So that’s it. That’s all that’s on tonight. Those shows, and Idol.
Oh yeah, and some show called Lost. What, you thought I forgot?
Two other things to pay attention to tonight: Jennifer Aniston on Letterman and Gnarls Barkley on Conan. So what are YOU watching tonight? Vote now!
During times of tragedy– be it 9/11, Hurricane Katrina, or 2004’s tsunami– one question people tend to ask themselves is “Where was God?” Well, now we have an answer: He was helping Pat Robertson work on his quads.
According to the Christian Broadcasting Network’s website, Pat has developed a delicious, refreshing shake, filled with energy-producing nutrients, that allows his 76-year-old ass to leg-press 2000 pounds. Unbelievable! To give you a point of reference, Jesus only leg-pressed about 800 pounds. That’s a big difference.
Clay Travis over at CBS Sportsline has challenged Pat to prove that he’s not full of it. Robertson– who speaks with God regularly and recently announced that a tsunami will hit the US this year– will undoubtedly take him up on this challenge, because if there’s one thing Pat Robertson has it’s integrity.
You can view the ingredients of Pat’s magical shake by clicking below. Surprisingly “creatine” is listed, but “prayer” is not.
Brandon Davis seems to have started a firecrotch that just won’t go out. You HAVE to see this hilarious paparazzi video in which MTV2 funnyman Andy Milonakis imitates Davis’ infamous tirade on his way out of some Hollwood nightclub. I’m not always the biggest Milonakis fan, but this sh*t is pretty funny.
- Page Six cracks the Tom Hanks code. He’s using Propecia.
- Katie takes Suri to visit her parents in Ohio. At least that’s what she told Tom.
- New Ali G film shocks Cannes. Make that Chaka Khan.
- Brad Pitt’s accused of child endangerment on a bike ride with the kids. But at least he didn’t trip.
- Feds raid home of paparazzi honcho. Celebrities say suck it!
- Mischa Barton moving to London. Trying to find a home for her accent.
Nicole Richie and DJ AM officialy called off their relationship for the bajillionth time but they promise this is the last. The couple first got engaged in February 2005, but then broke up that December, but then got back together in March 2006 and then got engaged again last week. And now here we are, in splitsville. We’re not sure what happened on their end, but we just stopped trusting them after the last break up. And if you want a long-lasting relationship with the press it’s got to be built on trust.
It’s Best Night Ever for Tuesday, May 23! Alex Blagg is here to walk you through the best of Tuesday night tv, including American Idol, Stephen King’s Desperation, and the Country Music Awards!
- AT LEAST THEY’RE STILL WORKING: The Gin Blossoms are rockin’ out cafeterias on the East Coast (Deadspin)
- MANBEARPIG: Ashton Kutcher and his brand new beard (Celebutaint)
- MUSIC VIDEO: Guster’s “One Man Wrecking Machine.” Best video since Blur’s Milk Carton Guy. (Screenhead)
- A TIRADE MADE FOR A QUEEN: Elton John calls a rude individual a “f**kwit.” (The Velvet Hot Tub)
- GUESS WHAT ENDED UP IN RYAN SEACREST’S ASS TODAY: Glass. This time. (Defamer)
TMZ has some pretty Lindsay Lohan leaving club Shag, post-firecrotch assualt. Sure she was a victim of a malicious attack. But shortly after her car pulls out of the driveway, the paparazzi also catches Mini-Me emerging from the same club on some dude’s shoulders as if he was a kid at a parade. Watching the lil guy struggle to get in the drivers seat of his car (yes he drives!) really puts the whole firecrotch-thing in perspective. Or it just serves as a freakish diversion untill there’s more gossip about Lindsay’s woman parts.