…OF THE DAY

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HEADLINE
: "Mutant Chickens Grow Full Set of Teeth" (Fox News)

FUTURE PURCHASE: The HomePub draft beer system.  (via Double Viking)

CUSTOMER SERVICE IMPROVEMENT: Automated Taco Bell ordering.  Wonder if they programmed the machines to mispronounce the menu items.  (Flickr)

TURKISH DELIGHT: The offical Brokeback Mountain poster literally translated to "Faggot Cowboys" in Turkey.  (Screenhead)

STUPID HIPPIE SAN FRANCISCO IDEA: Conducting an experiment to turn dog waste into power.  (Reuters)

DATED CATCHPHRASE I WANT TO BRING BACK: Schwing!

RANDOM BLOG POST: Some dude’s hilarious list of Johnny Weir’s "Weirisms". (How was your day, Dan?)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY: Drew Barrymore!

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Charlie’s favorite Angel (well, Top 3 anyway) celebrated her 31st birthday today. We know you probably want to wish her a happy b-day, so we decided to make things easy for you. Thanks to the magic of creative googling, and creative photoshopping, you’re just a couple of short steps away from wishing Drew a happy 31st.

Here’s all you have to do: save the Birthday Card we made to your desktop. Print it up, and mail it to:

Creative Artists Agency
9830 Wilshire Boulevard
Beverly Hills, CA 90212-1825

Happy Birthday Drew! And keep on keepin’ on.

While You Were Buying Your Tickets For “Eight Below”

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  • Nicole Richie and DJ AM may be back together... thanks to the Diet Dr. Pepper she used to make him jealous.
  • K-Fed would never cheat on Britney, but he might get confused and forget which one Britney is.   
  • Ashlee Simpson loves sick kids. They have mixed feelings about her.
  • Jake is the godfather of Heath’s baby. And maybe the mother too.
  • Tyra Banks will don latex, a wig and contact lenses in order to crash a strip club on a March 1st episode of her show. Somebody tell her women are allowed in strip clubs.
  • Angelina Jolie has JC Penny written all over her.
  • The combined star power of Carrot Top and Stephen Segal is blinding.
  • We had the best night ever. You shoulda been there.

BEST NIGHT EVER

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Trapped in a closet last night? Watch this video to learn everything you need to know about what went down.

Oh, and what are you waiting for? Join our YouTube group today!

Think You Like Bob Marley? Think Again

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The great Field Maloney has come to the rescue of Bob Marley‘s reputation. He feels that his "musical legacy has been hijacked and simplified by his cheesier [whiter] fans" and that the greatest hits collection Legend was "a defanged and overproduced selection of Marley’s music."  So all of you millions of people who have enjoyed that album over the years, you should be ashamed of yourselves. You should also immediately run right out and get the three albums from Marley’s Fieldian "Golden Age," then throw away Legend! Thank you, Field Maloney, for telling us how stupid we are compared to you.

The Mid-life Crisis Jacket

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It’s official. The leather biker’s jacket is the new symbol of a mid-life crisis. Back in the day a brand new Porsche and a pony tail were surefire signs that a guy approaching 50 was grappling with getting older.

These days it’s all about the leather jacket. More specifically, the mock-turtleneck-collared, form-fitting Ducati-inspired biker’s jacket. More and more male celebrities are sporting this look all over Hollywood. The aerodynamic collar and sharp darted shoulders are designed to give the impression that these aging celebs can rock climb, drag race or leap from explosions at a moment’s notice–cause their lives are just that crazy. Lets take a look at the men who have made this fashion trend a mid-life staple.

Read more…

CAPTION THIS!

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"Do we have to wait for Bolton to get here, or can we just start ordering appetizers now?"

This terrifying photograph of Steven Seagal and Carrot Top is courtesy of The Superficial. Now it’s your turn.

Tyra’s Tough Question of the Day

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Trya Banks is a thoughtful interviewer who is not afraid to ask the tough questions, no matter how many times she has to say "check" or "genital."