Are Fat Kids Having the Best Week Ever?

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Petey

The kids of MTV’s Fat Camp are the talk of the town or at least of this blog. For those of you who haven’t yet caught the special, imagine Laguna Beach sprinkled with the Biggest Loser and sauteed in Wet Hot American Summer to create meal of high-calorie fun. 

While there’s mysteriously no Fat Camp details on the MTV’s homepage, we’re providing a temporary outpost for all things Camp Pocono Trails.  With our readers’ help we hunted down the amazing Myspace pages of Chelsea, Matt and (ladies’ choice) Petey. Note the Smirnoff bottles, the pop songs and the bikini clad models they splash all over their profiles.  Judging from their pages, they’re  ready to rock n’ roll as MTV stars, so lets help make them famous.   

While You Were Having a Slow Celebrity News Day

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  • Kevin Federline says he’s ready for the backlash his forthcoming rap album will inevitably cause.  Meanwhile, critics, bloggers and comedians across the country are still getting all lubed up. Olsens_3
  • Cameron Diaz was almost maimed by a bird that flew threw the windshield of her limo.  Those paparazzi sure are getting creative!
  • According to his brother, R. Kelly can add "wife-beating bisexual" to his already impressive resume of "sex-addicted pedophile scatalogical weirdo". 
  • Page Six says that rap mogul Damon Dash taught a frightening lesson to some neighborhood bullies that stole his son’s cell phone.  In other news, Suge Knight gunned down a fourth-grader for cutting in front of his son in the lunch line.
  • The Olsen Twins are going from BoHo to "BoHoly shit, what are you doing?"

LISTEN UP: Your Daily Dose of the Best Music Ever

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  • Jossstone4
    In honor of President’s Day, Trees Lounge posted a bunch of president-themed songs. Everything from Eric B & Rakim‘s "Eric B is Mr. President" to Bright Eyes‘ "When The President Talks to God" to Jay-Z‘s "Dead Presidents."  Be patriotic, and download them all.
  • Rooney has a new album on its way next month. In the meantime, I Am Fuel, You Are Fire has an old track from before the band signed with Geffen to keep you busy.
  • Are you sick of listening to that Clap Your Hands Say Yeah album over and over and over again yet? Well, Skatterbrain has a new CYHSY song for you to overplay: "Me And You Watson."
  • Awesome Until Proven Guilty has a handful of Martha & Rufus Wainwright tracks. Download the Martha song that has such an un-printable title that I can’t even begin to type it here.
  • Even though I left my first ever Matt Pond PA concert declaring that the "PA" must have stood for "Pretty Average," I still really enjoy his cover of Neutral Milk Hotel’s classic track "In An Aeroplane Over The Sea." You can hear it at My Old Kentucky Blog.
  • VH1 requires me to post at least one Joss Stone link a day. Okay, I’m kidding… but I bet this gets me a raise. You can find several Joss Stone tracks here.

Brokeback 2: Girls Go Wild

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Katemossglastonbury

Supermodel Kate Moss will star in Brokeback Mountain director Ang Lee’s next movie as the female lover of Charlize Theron.

Here’s a guess as to how the pitch meeting for this movie went:

  • Executive 1: So everyone loves this new gay movie thing. Who would have thought?!
  • Executive 2: Yes we’ve got to get Ang Lee to direct another one
  • Executive 1: But you know what would be even better? This may be crazy but– what if this time the gay people were two really hot girls?
  • Executive 2: That’s so crazy it just might work.

Donald Trump Plays the Blame Game

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News20050405135217donaldtrump

Donald Trump says that Martha Stewart should "take responsibility" for the failure of The Apprentice. Well, as the old saying goes, when you point the finger, you have three fingers pointing back at you. With that in mind I decided to look back at Donald Trump’s history of accepting responsibility for his failures. Let’s see how he did:

  • "Trump Blames Martha Stewart for Ratings Slide"
  • "Donald Trump blames Joey for Apprentice‘s slip in ratings."
  • When Trump didn’t hire both Randall Pinkett and Rebecca Jarvis on The Apprentice, he blamed it on Pinkett.

Read more…

CINEMA’S GOLDEN ERA: Weekend Box Office Results

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Here are the top five films people paid their hard-earned money to see this week:
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1.  Hollywood’s Latest Attempt to Capitalize on the Popularity of "March of the Penguins" and Other Movies About Animals Overcoming Arctic Terrain – $19.85 million

2.  Another Studio-Produced Wacky Spoof Movie Composed Entirely of the Cliched, Poorly Constructed Gags Found In Most Other Studio-Produced Movies Over the Past Couple of Years, Except This Time It’s Supposed To Be Funny Because, You Know, It’s a Wacky Spoof Movie – $18.9 million

3.  Peter Sellers Continues Rolling In His Grave, Only This Week Steve Martin Is Down Two Notches at the Box Office – $16.5 million

4.  George Is Still Curious.  Moviegoers Clearly Are Not – $11.25 million

5.  After Only One Week In Relase, This Unnecessary Sequel to an Unnecessary Sequel Is Rapidly Approaching It’s Final Destination: Forgotten Irrelevancy – $10.1 million

While You Were Enjoying Your Day Off

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  • Nick_lachey Kevin Federline thinks the media’s portrayal of the way he acts is "unfair." However, he agrees that the media’s take on his horrible rapping abilities is "dead on."
  • Donald Trump wants Martha Stewart to "take responsibility" for the failure of her Apprentice. Martha continues to blame her stockbroker Peter Bacanovic.
  • The Rolling Stones played a concert for a million fans in Rio, resulting in record-long bathroom lines when Mick announcedit was time to "play something off our newest album."
  • Nick Lachey wants spousal support, and has requested a share of Jessica’s earnings as well as "miscellaneous jewelery and other personal effects." The court was then forced to explain to Nick that he won’t be able to keep Jessica’s breasts in the divorce, no matter how hard he tries.
  • The new James Bond, Daniel Craig, got his two front teeth knocked out on the set. Critics who argued that Craig was too prissy to be the next Bond smugly call their friends and say, "See. I told you so."
  • Chris Robinson was allegedly caught cheating on wife Kate Hudson with a "homely brunette" long-haired hippie. Brother Rich Robinson named the Number 1 suspect.

The Big OH! (and we don’t mean Sandra)

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Greys_2

I know that wacky and unbelievable medical phenomenons are a trademark of Grey’s Anatomy. But last night’s episode which featured a teenage girl with uncontrollable orgasms was a hard pill to swallow. We’ve accepted bellies stuffed with bombs and pregnant men, but had the "Grey Matter" writers gone too far? Especially when they made us feel bad for her? But as it turns out, they weren’t lying:

It’s been documented that "A British 44-year-old woman was prone to repeated and uncontrollable orgasms every two weeks over three years.  "They were neither pleasurable nor satisfying and often came on at the wheel of a car," the doctors wrote in the Lancet medical journal.  "Sexual seizures are rare and, owing to their nature, may be presented to physicians late," wrote Dr Robert Will and Dr Paul Reading of Edinburgh’s Western General Hospital."

Nope, still don’t feel bad for her.